What Remains

Why?

That was always the question that crossed your mind. The only word that made it seem like there were so many answers, but you couldn’t find them—the events that occur, the time it takes, and the things that you have to endure. Life was hard, but it felt even harder when you knew you were the reason for it all. It felt like everything was so much harder in life when the things that did happen were just a cause of the mess that you caused. No matter how many times it was that you tried your hardest, it seemed the world would pour down hard on you.

“How could you do this to me?”

My voice didn’t sound like mine. It cracked in places it never had before.

I stared at him through tears I refused to wipe away, my hands clenched so tight my nails cut into my palms.

“I gave you everything,” I said. “I built my life around you. And this is how it ends?”

He opened his mouth, already shaking his head, already preparing to say something that wouldn’t matter.

“I never meant to hurt you—”

I laughed. It was short. Empty. “You don’t get to say that.”

The room felt unreal, like a dream I was about to wake up from. Any second now, I’d open my eyes and be back beside him, worrying about flights and tournaments and the future we were supposed to have.

But this was real.

“I stood beside you while you chased your dream,” I said quietly. “And somewhere along the way, I disappeared.”

He reached for me.

I stepped back.

That was the moment I knew—this wasn’t a fight. It was an ending.

3 Days Earlier….

“Aki, it’s been a while since we saw your boyfriend. Is he off traveling again? How come you’re not going with him? You usually go to support him.” I looked at my friend Jenny, her bangs always perfectly placed above her eyes, and her chubby cheeks always popping out to the point where I would love to pinch them, but she always hated that. I had met Jenny when we were first being interviewed. I hadn’t gotten a call back from the company, which I thought meant she had gotten the job over me, and she also thought the same thing, but when we both went to our first day of work, we stared at each other, and we instantly clicked.

“I wanted to surprise him. I’m leaving tomorrow to see him training before the tournament. I thought it would be a nice surprise since our anniversary would be coming up soon, and I don’t even know if we’ll see each other.” She smiled at me, she knew exactly how much of a lover girl I am. I would drop everything just to be with my boyfriend.

“Ughhh, Aki, why did you have to be a girl. If you were a boy all of the girls here would be all over you. You do so much more than the other boys that I know are in a relationship. If only Aki.” I looked at her and laughed a little. That was one of the reasons I loved being friends with Jenny, though her comments throw you off, it’s always a nice laugh.

“Oh Jenny, I am going to tell you this one more time, and maybe even more, re since you always forget. You are pretty, beautiful, and you deserve the world, and you don’t need to go diving to get a guy’s attention. For one, I know someone in our department who liked you, and I’m not going to tell you cause then you’ll go all stalker mode on him, and I would feel responsible for that, and I don’t need that on my conscience.” I laughed at her, and she did the same, but when she heard the last part of what I said, she stopped doing whatever it was she was doing and began to blush. I knew that she was frozen in embarrassment, so I had to do what every friend would do.

“Come on, let’s go home.” I dragged her out of the door

I thought that everything would be perfect. I knew that when he saw me, I would make his day; he always loved it when I surprised him. It was exciting, the feeling of adrenaline when it came to surprising him. The next day, I packed my things and prepared myself to see him before his tournament. I would be arriving late after his practice, so it would be better if I waited at his place.

I was excited to see him; after all, this was going to be our 3rd anniversary. I was lucky to have him in my life. I didn’t know what I would do without him. We met young, we met in the same group training next to each other, playing with each other, and sooner or later we began to talk more often and became friends. Everyone in the group knew that we liked each other, but none of us wanted to say anything. We were young and scared that we would be rejected. Finally, he asked me out while we were in a tournament, and it felt right; it seemed like everything was falling into place, and being with him felt like I was soaring above the clouds.

I texted his teammates asking them if they were on the way back to the dorm, but they told me that the practice ended early since the tournament was the next day, and the coach let them rest. I remember looking over the text message asking him where he was,s and he had told me that he was out at practice and would text as soon as he got back to the dorm. I didn’t mind too much since I thought that he was probably tired and just wanted to rest.

I grabbed a taxi and headed to his door; the feeling in my heart was skyrocketing. I was just too excited to see him and his reaction. When I arrived at their dorm, texted his teammate asking them to let me in. They pointed me out to his room and let me in.

“God—slow down,” he groaned, breath rough, strained in a way that didn’t belong to me anymore.

A woman laughed softly. “You’re shaking,” she teased. “Relax.”

The sound stopped me cold.

My hand was still on the door handle when I heard my boyfriend’s voice again—low, familiar, intimate in a way that made my stomach turn.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You feel—”

I slammed the door open.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON?!”

They both froze.

Ren’s head snapped toward me, eyes wide, face drained of color like I’d punched the blood straight out of him. The girl beneath him scrambled back, clutching the sheets as they might save her.

“Aki?” His voice cracked. “What are you doing here?”

I laughed. It came out sharp and bitter. “That’s your concern right now? Me?”

I yanked my jacket off and threw it at the wall, missing his head by inches. “Surprise,” I said flatly. “Third anniversary. Guess I should’ve knocked.”

“Aki—you’re not supposed to be here,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Oh, wow,” I shot back, rolling my eyes. “And if you were expecting me, you wouldn’t have done this shit, right?”

They both started getting out of bed, and I turned away, nausea crawling up my throat.

I pointed at her. “Who the fuck are you? The one-night stand he’s gonna forget the second he leaves this country?”

She straightened, chin lifting. “I’m his girlfriend,” she snapped. “Who are you?”

That was it.

I stepped forward, hands shaking with rage. “I’m the girlfriend who’s about to beat the shit out of you if you don’t get the hell out of this room right now,” I said, voice low and dangerous. “I don’t care who you think you are—get out while you can still walk.”

Her confidence evaporated. She looked at Ren. He said nothing.

That told her everything.

She grabbed her things and fled, not leaving a single trace behind. For half a second, I almost felt sorry for her.

Then I looked at him.

Ren stood there, hands buried in his hair, eyes frantic. He took a step toward me.

“Look, Aki, I can explain—”

“Explain what?” I snapped. “That your dick magically fell into her? That training’s been so hard you needed to fuck someone else to cope?” I laughed bitterly. “Cut the bullshit. You don’t have anything to explain.”

I stepped closer, voice shaking now—not with weakness, but fury.

“Delete my number. Delete everything. And when you get back home, don’t worry about coming to my place—you don’t deserve any of your shit.”

I turned and walked out of the dorm.

Doors opened down the hallway. His teammates stared as I passed, the silence loud and humiliating.

“Aki, wait!” he yelled, chasing after me. “Please—just let me explain!”

I didn’t stop.

His voice faded. The noise of the hallway dulled, like someone had shoved cotton into my ears. I couldn’t process it. I wouldn’t let myself.

Two years.

Two fucking years wasted on someone who could erase me in minutes.

Coming back home

I had asked my best friend to pick me up from the airport. There was no way I could be left alone; who knows what I could do when I’m alone?

“Baby, come here. Everything is going to be ok. I’m here.” I melted into her arms. The tears streaming down my face would not stop. I thought that I was done crying, but it felt like I needed to let out more. She carried my bags into the car. The drive was a bit silent, though I knew that my best friend really wanted to comfort me. She held my hand all the way until I got home.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you? I have time off, and you know that going to work from your house is no hassle whatsoever.” I smiled at her. I knew all she wanted to do was help out and be there for me, but part of me also wanted some time to cool off after everything that had happened.

“Dian, I appreciate everything that you’re doing for me, but I think I need some time alone to process everything. I will call you as soon as I need something. You’re my number 1 on speed dial, and you know that.” She gave me one last tight hug and hurried off.

Standing in front of the house, I barely recognized it. It looked the same—same walls, same windows—but something about it felt wrong, like it no longer knew me. A place that was once full of plans and noise now felt hollow, stripped down to nothing but echoes. This was the house I believed we would grow old in. Every promise he ever made lived here once. Now they felt empty, spoiled by the truth.

I couldn’t move. My feet stayed planted on the sidewalk as minutes stretched into something heavier, longer. Cars passed. Curtains shifted. I noticed my neighbors watching, their concern flickering across their faces, and I realized I’d been standing there far too long. When they asked if I was okay, I apologized out of habit, even though I wasn’t. I just needed them to stop looking at me long enough for me to gather whatever strength I had left.

Eventually, I forced myself toward the door.

The key felt unfamiliar in my hand. When the door opened, the house greeted me with silence. No warmth. No comfort. Just space. The kind that presses in on you. Memories rushed forward—laughter in the kitchen, late nights on the couch, conversations that once felt permanent—but I pushed them back before they could take hold. If I let myself linger there, I knew I would never leave.

The air felt heavier inside, like the walls were holding their breath, waiting for something that would never come back. I stood there alone, surrounded by everything we had built and everything that had fallen apart.

This place had been my future once.

Now it was just a reminder.

I closed the door behind me and let the quiet settle. It was time to let go. Time to change—not because I was ready, but because staying would destroy me.