Theory of Attachment

Content Warnings

Theory of Attachment explores themes of aromantic relationships, hookup culture, friendship, polyamory, and open relationships.

Relationships other than Micah and Alistair may contain age gaps, accidental sugaring, threesomes, dp, bdsm, cucking, mxmxf, and roleplay.

Micah is exclusively topping and is generally a mess lol

Alistair is a switch, exclusively bottoming for Micah, and has undiagnosed contamination OCD lol

The rating is 18+. Explicit, graphic smut for Micah x Alistair. Smut for other hookup partners is summarized, not in detail, and leaves room for the imagination lol

All sex in ToA is consensual.

Micah’s latest (and favorite) record was being thrown in his face by someone he (optimistically) thought would engage in a calm, reasonable, considerate conversation.

He ducked to avoid the collision, and only thought to grab the vinyl as a second thought. It crashed, shattered, and flew like fireworks across the brick wall behind his head instead.

Micah’s heart lurched into his throat before the words flew out. "Shit! Do you realize how expensive that was?!”

"Expensive?!" cried the person who claimed to have been his boyfriend for the past two weeks. Granted, that title was given without Micah’s consent or awareness. “I bet that’s why you never took me out to dinner! And here I thought it was because all you cared about was screwing me over."

Yeah, kind of, he thought, but even if he’d had the money, he wasn’t interested in dinner with anyone other than Kennedy and Benny who, in that very moment, was coming to Micah’s rescue.

“I’m home!” Benny announced across the flat. His voice echoed in a room only padded by couch cushions.

The man let out a feral, high-pitched scream and escaped Micah’s room. He made certain to slam the door on his way out twice—first with Micah’s door, and then the front door before Benny could even manage a simple, “How’s it—” Slam! “—going?”

A second later, Benny was in his doorway, book bag hanging at his side. “Dude, what the fuck happened? I thought you two were getting it on, so to speak.”

Frustration burned like acid on Micah’s tongue as he picked at the shards of his vinyl. He let a handful of them crumble between his fingers so he could cover his face and groan. “I spent weeks saving tips for this.”

“Oh, shit, is that—?”

"Yes. God, I’m such an idiot. Who just keeps their most prized possession out in the open to be thrown into walls like that?”

“To be fair, I think the throwing-into-walls statistics are pretty small. It’s not your fault,” Benny said. He crouched on the floor next to Micah and helped gather shards. They swept them into a pile, which Micah herded atop an old magazine to be thrown out. “Maybe you could piece it together. Glue it to cardstock. Call it art?”

Micah glowered at him, rose to his feet, and crossed the room with the remains. As he entered the hall, so too did Erika from her room.

She looked as exhausted as she sounded. “Is your boy toy gone?”

Benny peered out Micah’s room, startling at the sight of Erika. “You were here and you didn’t intervene?! Even I heard the yelling out in the hall!”

Erika rubbed her eye beneath her glasses. “And now why would I do that when Micah’s at fault?”

“I’m not at fault,” Micah said, bitterly, though it was certainly a pattern. He always stumbled himself into the same arguments, the same conversations, despite how diligently he tried to avoid them. He’d thought his aloofness would be enough to dissuade anyone from presuming to be his boyfriend.

At Benny’s silence, coupled with Erika’s raised eyebrow, Micah withered. “I’m not. I told him multiple times I’m not boyfriend material. He knew that.”

“He thought you were playing hard to get probably, as always,” Benny said.

“Nah, he said he thought it was a kink,” Erika said.

“Did he really.”

“Yeah, I was there for the argument. Unlike you. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Ah, yeah, left early. And good thing, too!” Benny latched an arm around Micah’s shoulders and said, “Now that you’re newly single, you should come out with Kennedy and I!”

At the very mention of Micah’s favorite word combination (“going out” and “Kennedy”) he was able to forget, for a moment, that he was holding the tragic remains of his favorite vinyl. “Going out where? And I was always single and plan to keep it that way.”

Erika crossed her arms, a smug grin on her lips. “Then maybe you should stop leading twinks on.” It was then that Micah registered the sleep lines from Erika’s pillow on her cheek.

“Were you just sleeping? It’s, like, 7PM.”

“The girls and I are going out later,” Erika said.

“You went out last night.”

She yawned, strode past, and said dismissively, “Your point?”

“Anyway,” Benny said, dragging Micah back to the future. “It’s a themed party and... that’s all I know. She said to dress to impress, but not to give a speech. Oh! And to come prepared.”

It was code for intending to leave with someone other than who they came with. Micah knew this code well, and was already desperate to forget the guy he’d been noncommittally seeing for the past month via a nameless, faceless hookup.

“Alright. I’m in.”

Benny thrust his fists up in victory.

As Benny ran off to get ready, Micah paused in the kitchen, eyeing up the trash. He looked to his vinyl—his beautiful, perfect (until five minutes ago) vinyl—and knew instantly that he would regret tossing it. He fetched a takeout container from the cupboard and brushed the shards into it. He capped it and, having no better place to store it, he put it in the refrigerator to deal with later.

It was then that a knock sounded on the door.

Micah looked at it thinking the opposite of the truth. It was probably his definitely-not-boyfriend back to give him an additional piece of his mind, Micah thought. The truth was far more sinister.

Waiting for him on the other side of the door was something that would derail the rest of Micah’s young adult life. It would be some time before he knew with certainty if this was for the better or the worse, but regardless, he took one look through the peephole and was made to be entirely confused.

“Um,” he started, glancing back at Benny’s room. Benny had already started the shower and therefore, couldn’t hear him.

He’d seen Benny’s older brother in photographs around the flat and, more specifically, FaceTime calls carried around the apartment or in the middle of the street while he and Benny were out and about. Never in Micah’s three years of living with Benny had he had a reason to see Benny’s older brother in person.

Or on the other side of their front door.

He opened it.

Alistair West, eldest half-sibling to Benedict (Benny) West, stood there in perfect resolution, button-up half-undone. Micah’s eyes were on the chest-piece tattoo and nothing else as he said, “Benny’s in the shower.”

“Hello to you too,” Alistair said, gesturing with his suitcase.

Micah stepped aside, confused, and said, “Aren’t you supposed to be in Arizona?”

“I’m visiting for work. Benny didn’t say?” Alistair said.

No, definitely not, Micah thought, and wondered if he should check with Erika. Maybe Benny had texted her instead of the group chat, but that also didn’t explain Benny’s insistence on going out.

He totally forgot, Micah realized, and presumed then that Erika didn’t know either.

Alistair was a prized possession of Benny, which made his comfort levels important to Micah. He shut the door behind them and said, “You can leave your shoes here. I think you’ll be sleeping on the couch if that’s okay.”

“Yeah I don’t mind. And we haven’t properly met—Alistair.”

They shook hands. “Micah. I’m just gonna let Benny know you’re here.”

He first went to Erika’s bathroom where she was in the midst of administering eyeliner like a surgeon. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and said, “Is your boy toy back?”

Micah glared at her. “No.” And then, in a whisper, “Did Benny mention his brother visiting?”

“The hot one?” she asked, a bit startled. She lifted the pen up so she could stare at him properly when he nodded. “No... Why, is that him?”

“Yeah, with a suitcase," Micah said.

“Fuck. I was gonna bring the poli-sci girl over later,” she hissed, snapping the cap back onto her mascara.

“I think Benny forgot—”

“Yeah, no shit! Whatever, he can stay. Eye candy and all that,” she sighed.

Micah folded his hands as if to pray to God. “Thank you,” he whispered, and then doubled back to hurry into his and Benny’s bathroom.

He opened the door to a wall of humidity and the shower running. They’d never bothered with a curtain, but the glass was fogged up enough to shield Benny’s modesty as Micah stepped in, shut the door, and said:

“Dude, your brother’s here.”

Benny dropped his hands. The general shape of his face was staring at Micah through the fog. And then, cursing, he said, “Fuck! I put the wrong dates in my calendar.”

“It’s fine. I just talked to Erika about it and I told him he’s sleeping on the couch.”

Benny was scrambling to clear his face of water and soap before leaning around the glass wall to look at him properly. “Oh my fucking God, you’re a dream. I’m so sorry—”

“It’s fine. Should I invite him to the party with Kennedy? We can pretend you had this all planned.”

"Yes. Yes, please—”

“Cool.” Not knowing what else to do, Micah went in for a fist-bump while Benny went in for a high-five. They froze. Benny seized Micah’s fist and shook it like a joystick. “Oh my God, stop, let go.”

Benny winked, snapped his fingers into a finger-gun, and said, “I’ll be out in a bit!”

Micah rolled his eyes and shook water off his hand as he left.

In the main area, Alistair left his bag beside the couch and was now sat at the kitchen counter, scrolling on his phone. The large, arched, warehouse windows split across Alistair and the golden light did wonders to his complexion. His hair was windswept and, judging by the way Alistair toyed with it—fingers weaving through strands—it was soft.

Upon closer inspection, approaching him, Micah discovered the huskiness in Alistair’s cologne was tobacco. Fresh.

“Hey, he’ll be right out,” Micah said.

Alistair looked up from his phone. His eyes were more angular than Benny’s and made harsh by his sharp brow line. Everything about him was chiseled for Micah, he presumed.

“Okay.”

“He wanted me to let you know that he’s got an outing planned. Some party, I guess. I’ll be going too if that’s all right.”

“Oh.” Alistair straightened a bit. He set his phone aside and glanced at his bag. “What’s the dress code?”

Anything would suit him for Kennedy’s code, Micah thought. “Something nice, but not formal.”

Alistair was on his feet and crossing the room, flashing Micah a thumbs up. Micah purposefully did not watch him go. Certainly not.

The next fifteen minutes passed in a blur. Dressed to impress, but not for a speech, Micah made his way to the kitchen once more fixing the backing on his earrings. As expected, Benny’s brother cleaned up well for someone who just got off a long flight and subway trip. And Benny, as always, was a stunner.

Benny greeted him with a gasp and a whistle. Alistair gave Benny an amused grin as Micah said, “Relax. I’m here every evening.”

“Except for the ones you’re not,” Benny reminded him.

Erika emerged from the bathroom in gogo boots and a miniskirt. She put her hands on her hips and said, “Looks like you three are rearing to go.”

“Nice shoes,” Micah said.

She kicked out one heel and said, “Thanks. I’ll see y’all tomorrow, probably. Maybe. We should get brunch regardless.”

“Or lunch, depending on when we wake up,” Benny said.

Erika saluted them and was off. Once the door shut, Alistair pushed off the stool and followed them to the door, saying, “Is she not coming with us?”

"She’s going to a rave. We are not going to a rave,” Benny said.

“Thank fuck,” Alistair said. He held the door for Micah, shut it, and stepped aside so Benny could lock it behind them.

On the walk, Micah learned many things. Alistair was in town to negotiate a location transfer for work—a meeting he was just getting back from when Micah answered his knock on the front door. For the rest of the weekend, he would be apartment hunting.

“So you’re for sure moving here full time now?” Benny said.

“Seems so,” Alistair said, and laughed when Benny danced with glee. “I have back-to-back tours set up tomorrow, so I might have to miss brunch. Or lunch.”

“That’s fine. That’s totally fine."

“Geez, don’t sound so excited to not spend time with me.”

“That’s not it—!”

“I’m kidding, dumbass.”

On the walk, Micah alerted Kennedy to the situation at hand. She assured him she would confirm with the host that there was space for Micah and Alistair at the party. Evidently, it was rather exclusive.

It came as no surprise to Micah that Kennedy hadn’t invited him in the first place. Their schedules were busy and, for the most part, she tailored her invitation list to the likes and dislikes of her friends. Wherever they were going was likely catering to Benny’s wants. And, if he factored in the dress code, the options were minimal.

Not a wedding, he reassured himself. He and Alistair would definitely not be permitted entry. Benny loved to be invited to weddings, unless they were with Kennedy’s family, then her family preferred Micah’s quiet, calm company.

Engagement party? Definitely plausible, and likely for friends Micah didn’t know. Kennedy would tack Micah and Alistair’s names onto the engagement gift she got if it truly was an engagement party.

Anniversary dinner? Maybe Kennedy was trying to set Benny up with one of the posh, single friends of a rich couple celebrating their dating anniversary. Definitely feasible, but a dinner was less likely. A reservation required a number Micah and Alistair were not included in.

And so, just as they were arriving at the destination in Chelsea—an apartment complex near the river walkway—Micah came to his final conclusion and began to dread it.

A singles party... And then, with greater horror, he looked at Benny and thought, You’re bringing your brother to a singles party?!