“Hated by Adriana , and the World"

I walk down the hallway. I hear voices whispering in my ear.

“Eww, look at her.”

“Her hair is not even done.”

“She is so not enough.”

“She is not pretty.”

“She is chopped.”

“She doesn’t deserve to be in this world.”

But why hold them down? Because, to be honest, this is how I feel.

Why can’t I be enough? Why am I the one always trying to solve the unknown equation? Why am I always finding x?

The answer remains frozen.

I go to school every day.

I lie to myself that I am pretty.

Teachers say I am pretty.

But the truth is, I am so not enough.

I look at other girls — pretty, popular, slim, and all that.

But still, I am just a nobody, a no one.

Even if I have the best grades, I am still a nobody.

Maybe no one wants me. Maybe me being here, being present, is taking the space of someone more deserving.

Then there is this girl, Adriana.

I have two classes with her — Gym and Spanish — all in one day.

I see her in the morning, and I see her again before going home.

She is so annoying. She hates me for nothing.

I never once did anything to her.

I don’t even know her.

But she says “eww” and whispers curse words whenever I walk in.

I try to ignore her and keep my self-confidence going.

But I am tired.

Lord, I am a Christian girl. You see me. You get me.

Please take away these burdens. I am so tired.

Maybe I don’t deserve to belong here.

I should find a way.

Lord, I look up to You because only You listen to me.

The world just stares at me.

All my life, all I have ever wanted is to be loved, seen, heard, and appreciated for who I am.

I get bullied for even being African.

The world doesn’t want me — so it might be high time I give them what they want, or so I thought.

But let me tell you this, Adriana.

I love myself — a lot.

My whole family loves me.

So you can back off.