Gem of shy mafia

Itall started on a rainy day............

Kim Hanuel sat in a café. Outside the rain,which had been pouring since yesterday had slowed down to a trickle. The weather was filled with dark and gloomy clouds yet it somehow made the sky look cool and romantic. People outside ran with their bags on their heads, stepping into puddles and sending water flying everywhere,while some people enjoyed it's cool winds letting the water drip off their hair.

Inside the smell of newly baked pastries trickled Hanuel's nostrils.The chatter of people filled the brightly lit small café which seemed to glow at every corner,with antique looking lights dangling from the walls.

She sat near the window her fingers drumming on the smooth café table;too impatient to enjoy the old aesthetic beauty,which she usually enjoyed her eyes,checking the time unconsciously now clouding the reason for her excitement....

While she had been working earlier that day a number all too familiar to forget-had called her out of the blue,leaving behind a rather bittersweet feeling in her.

Her ex,sounding as cheerful as always,skipping the introduction had mentioned about something significantly huge;according to him had happend. However refusing to elaborate any more on that subject, he had insisted that he would tell it all to her when they met at the "The love next door"café.

The café to which he had invited her for dinner was not just any ordinary café. In it's handsome exterior and antique beauty lay the place where Hanuel and her ex had met for the first time.

The café indeed held a lingering,quite weight in Hanuel's heart.

On the call he... he had sounded very....much elated and happy. His deep voice seemed to be buzzing with excitement. They hadn't talked for long;just breaching on the surface of each other daily lives-both ignoring the wall which had formed between them or..... maybe the wall was just Hanuel's imagination.

She was too filled with emotions to think about it.

Hanuel had been a bit skeptical about going to the café. All those things of the past....seemed to reopen again.....She had sat for a long time debating about it but soon her curisotiy and thrill to see him-which she hated that even now she felt like that-had left no room for her doubts.

After hanging up she had began to get a bit too curious as to why he had invited her. She didn't know how to feel about it. Happy? Sad? Disappointed? Nothing explained the churning feeling and hatred in her.

After what happend-she had been sure-that neither she or he were going to cross each other's paths again. Preharps that would have been better but here today she sat with an invitation.

To pass her time and to let the unsettling feeling pass away she decided to give it a thought. She hated how her mind went back to him- the very person who she had once seen break all of her trust. But no matter how hard she tried her thoughts didn't seem to flatter.

Sigh. She began to ponder.Obviously it had to be something positive...something serious to have him in such a great mood. Her thoughts began to drift and soon something in the borderline of absurdeness and fantasy creeped up on her; though she tried to reason with herself but the ridiculous thought refused to be pushed back.

She... she thought that maybe her ex had decided to continue their relationship. Admitting it aloud made it seem more impossible though she already knew that.

It was after 6 months that she was seeing him. They had been in a relationship for over a year,friends for too long and all the time she had given him all her love. For her he was everything and in the quietness of the day she always wondered if she deserved him.

But she had never imagined that a day would come where they would become strangers again.

It was on her birthday-on June 17. She still rembered it clearly the aching gap which had formed between them that day. She had came back home all exhausted from her work. It had been a tough day in court. Everyone seemed to be in an intense mood and she had heard too much bickering;each trying to unload their anger on her.

But she braved through it reminding herself that at the end of the day she would spend her birthday with her boyfriend,glad that she could enjoy the special day with him.

When she had reached home she had found her cozy apartment quiet. He had promised to be there so why wasn't he here?

Curious now she stepped into the apratement to call him but no sooner had she sat down,her ex had suddenly showed up in the doorway wearing black pants,black t-shirt,black cap and his hands.... his pale hands held a beautiful red boquet.

The smile on his face seemed streched; not the sweet one which she used to trace. The city noises faded away in the distance. He...... he had told her he wanted a "break up".

Hanuel could not understand it. She was stunned. All the happiness had flew away from her face.

Everything was going so well so.....so smooth....and.....and she just couldn't understand it ...she started to cry.....she threw things,she demanded why? .Why he wanted a" break up"? Her world seemed to shatter bit-by-bit right in front of her.It was as if her worst night mare was coming true.......

He had just calmly looked at her his hands neither reaching out for a hug nor leaving the door handle-his presence there but suddenly feeling as if he had put miles of distance between them-a person now suddenly a stranger whom you knew everything about said in his ever so soft voice as if she were a fragile child that would break at any moment-

"I just feel like you are not the best for me and well I too have my faults ...we ...just deserve someone better for each other." He paused for a moment to look at her,his black eyes looked like a void-rid of all warmth-he sucked in a deep breath before continuing-

" Honestly we were crumbling for some time but you were too busy to notice that and.... it is not your fault but maybe it is not the right time?And well I have this woman I like. I met her through instagram and we talked and you know.....I felt a connection. A spark which had begun to fade with us.I think I like her and I did not want to hurt you so yeah.... I think it is better if we end this. It would be for the best for us."

He paused for a moment as if deciding his next words. His face had a linerging smile on them-his radiant glow seemed to fade away " Well I guess this is goodbye .Happy birthday" with that he went out with his luggage......leaving a trail of destruction not waiting for an answer.

The clink of his luggages filled the quiet dark apartment air and Hanuel's nightmares for a very long time.

Hanuel suffered for the weeks that came. She cried,she trashed she just...couldn't make a sense of it. She who had given her everything for that relationship was now just left behind? Busy? She had spend every fucking second with him and he knew that but still.....The only thing that kept her going all those months were her best friends and Sun -nee -ho.

Sun -nee-ho or nee-ho ya(ya is a suffix which is used in Korea to address closest friends because it is considered rude to call someone with their name alone)always took care of her and stayed with her for many days. She never once complained about it nor did she tell her that she was just overreacting.

Nee ho always helped her and waited silently for her friends recovery. She did not force it, did not push it just stayed by her side. The kind of presence which you would find comforting at stormy nights.Hanuel was upset and broken beyond words.

But finally with her best friends and her family's help she pulled through. Though she was not completely healed she was ready to put her past behind her and focus on her present and future.

It was 8:30pm or so when the café bell gave a tiny ring as someone entered through the doors. Hanuel turned to look up from her phone to see who it was was, and there she saw him again. Time began to slow down for her,the tiny noises in the backgorund faded away all together.

Her ex Kang-jee-won with the same unfair combination of his sweet and dimple smile along with his athletic toned body and towering height walked through the doors.

He was 6ft, with dark wavy brown hair, a square shaped and a softly rounded face. Despite his rigorous appearance he had the type of cheerful and charismatic personality which some how drew you towards him. He looked handsome with his soft brown hair falling on his brown deepset eyes.

Today he wore a long and a rather baggy black shirt which hid his bulky shoulders-completed with a long green trousers. He looked attractive his lips set in a thin line and his Adam's apple bulging out. His attractive eyes sweeping over the café made a familiar knot turn in Hanuel's stomach.

Despite her uncertain feelings towards him Hanuel could not hide how delighted she was to see him.

She jumped up from her seat a shy smile on her face to go and greet him with a hug but as she took a few steps her gaze wandered to his slim and rather pale looking left hand.

She abruplty stopped mid way. In his pinky finger he wore a ring....which was a bit unusual since he hated jewelleries saying it did not fit his bulky body.

It certainly looked werid Hanuel thought to herself. She double checked it to make sure she wan't hallucinating.... after a few seconds of scrutinizing it she realized that it resembled a .....pre engagement ring?

Before she could think about the ring more another woman came from the doorway.

She was beautiful- soft hazel and almond shaped eyes with long lashes,a round face which bought out her cute dimples,fair complexion which made the darkness of her black hair stand out in a an almost graceful way.

She was shorter than him maybe about 5'4 or so. She wore a beige top with the words" pretty "along with bead studded jeans.

Her eyes scanned the café impassively,her thin lips sat in a line. As her eyes settled on a familiar figure a slow smile played in her lips as she crossed the café and slipped her hands in between the broad frame of her ex's hand without any hesitatation.

The sight-their entangled hands bruned through Hanuel's chest as if an invisible fire had hit her.

She stood there positioned rather awkwardly as she took a few steps back. Her breath came out more fast as she tried to clam herself.

She played with her nervous and now sweaty fingers looking down.It would be too much of a coincidence him wearing a ring on his hand and holding another woman's hand. So this is not what she thought it was.

The truth hit her hard.The man she so dearly loved ,used to love ,got... engaged? Then why had he called her here now? To show her that he was happily engaged? To make her remember?

She realized that he was no longer hers. Her mind began to spin the spacious café now seemed to expand on forever. She should have realized that sooner she thought to herself .At that moment she just wanted to let her inner agnuish out.

"When did I get so weak? Wasn't it enough for me that now I have to get humiliated again? Why did I even come here? What had I even expected?" Hanuel thought to herself.

The thoughts which she had been thinking in the morning suddenly disgusted her.

She wanted to leave that place and to never come back . All those past memories, those soft glances, those kisses, those late night conversations,his smile, her feelings, it all came rushing back to her.

But some thing anchored her to that place. Anger maybe? Regret? The pain to close this for once and for all? She stood up straight and walked towards him not to hug him but to paste on a fake smile.

As he came closer to her table Kang jee won's searching eyes landed on her's which instantly recongised her. His brown eye lit up as always his lips broadened into a smile as he pulled that woman's hand to come see his ex.

As he came towards her Hanuel seemed to momentarily step out from the present-the surroundings began to fade away. She winded back to the past viewing her own memories as an outsider.

She saw the moments she had shared with him.Those promises ,those kisses,those conversations about the future all turned to dust now. It left a bittersweet taste on her mouth but a look of disgust deep in her heart.She forced herself into reality and the café came rushing back.

He now stood before her the woman beside him. Hanuel looked up at his painfully warm eyes her expression indifferent or atleast she tried to make it look like that and extended a rather stiff and cold hand towards him.

Kang jee won instead of shaking her hand pulled her into a tight hug. She choked back a sob. His body felt warm and his board shoulders almost hid Hanuel's face.She didn't hug him back.

His embrace which once had been a safe place for her now choked her.His hands felt uncomfortable now wrapped around her shoulders like that.

She pulled through his embrace and motioned her ex and his supposed fiancée who was looking out of the window her black hair hiding her face to sit wordlessly.

When they had all settled down-Hanuel sitting opposite to them and both of them sitting as close to each other as possible on the opposite side-an awkward silence settled over.

Hanuel did not say anything and neither did she want to speak to both of them. Her mind was spinning though she was not sure if it was because of the sleeping pills or because of him.

She couldn't understand what was there to even talk about. It was clear as crystal that both of them were together so why bother? Maybe he really liked to agonize her.

Finally Kang jee won who had till that point been fingering with his ring wordlessly his eyes downcast could not maintain the silence. He spoke slowly his voice deep and warm slicing through the cold silence.

"Hey..... how are you?"He asked looking up at Hanuel his head tilted,his white teeth perfectly alinged as he tried to give a polite smile.

Hanuel replied she was well and what had bought him here. She didn't bother looking up at his tanned face.She tried to steady her voice so that they couldn't see the vulnerability she was hiding.

Kang jee won replied now looking at her his eyes soft, his fingers tapping on the table as he usually did when he got excited and somewhat in a more cheerful voice-

"Well as you know no.. I don't think you know well.. this is my financé and......".He faltered his voice quitening as his eyes met-not her's-but his supposed fiance.

The brightness of his eyes dimmed a bit and he sat there mouth unable to form words as if he knew that it was hurting Hanuel.So he did know that it was something that you shouldn't mention to your ex. Hanuel maintained a stone face but deep down her tears were threatening to break loose.

His supposed finance spoke up in a crisp voice-

"He and I are set to be married this fall. Jee won oppa thought it would be nice if you could attend our wedding. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Evelyn.".She said her voice all but sweet. Her narrowed eyes seemed to make a complete evaluation of her.

A thin smile pasted on her face,her hair falling on her face in loose strands-she extended her pale hand smiling up at Hanuel.

Hanuel regarded her coldly for some time debating what to do. She finally shook her hand rather coldly."Uh yeah OK. Nice to meet you. I am Hanuel. Kim Hanuel. Congratulations."

Jee won smiled and took a sort of pink looking card out from his fiancée purse.

"Here this is our wedding card."Hanuel took it from him her hands trembling biting back all her cries. Her legs felt like jelly tapping the fround unconsciously. They looked at her expectantly as if they wanted her to see the card.

Hanuel decided to take a look at that fancy card which was decorated with roses and snaking vines along the edges with a Couple's picture in the middle smiling and a wearing wedding dresses and looking as if at her.

Well even the animated couple looked happy Hanuel thought to herself.

She opened the card and looked inside and that is when her face finally crumbled.

Her shoulders slumped under an invsible weight which she could no longer carry. She was not able to hide the tremble in her chin,her hollow eyes fixed on those words her fingers anguishedly twisting the corners of the card anger and grief threatening to break loose.

Written in bright golden words so that you wouldn't miss it was the address where their wedding was going to be held.Their wedding...... was set to take place in the famous hotel way out in green land.It was the most expensive hotel there .....and .....and it was also the hotel where her ex had once promised her that their wedding would take place......

She could not stay any more. This very place that had felt so special to her was now suffocating her. It's wall seemed unnervingly close by and the tables felt conjusted.

She quickly gathered her things while the couple looked at her bewildered. She looked at them and quickly apologized for her going out in such a hurry.

Apologizing again she said that she could not stay any longer because something important had happened which she just remembered now and leaving the money for her share she ran from the café not bothering to look at Jee won's shocked expression as if he had expected her to sit and share a dinner after that.

Hanuel ran out of the café and into the busy streets with the rain now falling down in sheets, the thunder-ear piecrcing as if it were also screaming. The crowd outside had thinned a bit and darkness enfluged the night,the sky cloudy with not a hint of light.

She ran trying hard not to be hit by abnormally fast cars bumping into several umbrellas which all looked the same. With the street lamps acting as her only source of direction-she ran and ran till her legs began to ache,the water seeping through her making a shiver run through her spine.

Here and there she would slip and take an unexpected but inevitable plunge into one of the puddles getting herself all dirty but she never stopped running hoping that it would help clear her mind, hoping that it would bring back a shred of sense in herself.

She had came directly from her office so she had booked herself a taxi.But now she didn't want a taxi or for the matter to return to her home and pretend that none of this happend. No she just wanted silence.

The café is situated at the outskirts of the city. In its immediate vicinity there are a few shops and a bus stop offering a last vestige before you turn to a complete forest with just a single service road going in between which is rarely used and is hence mostly abonded.

Hanuel had ran a very long distance her insides burning with something more than just tiredness. One tear had started to fall and then a dozen more had followed,the rain wiping away all the traces for which she couldn't care less. All she could think of was him and that damn wedding card. Why even make promises when you can't keep one?

She finally stopped in the middle of nowhere feeling as if she had ran for an inordinate period of time. Her calf muscles felt cramped and she longed dearly for water.

She crouched down to catch her breath her hair feeling sticky against her face. After a few seconds she rose up trying to control her emotions just to realize that she was now not sure where she was anymore.

A shiver ran through her but it wasn't becasue of the rain.She looked around but as far as she could see it was all forest and darkness.

Huge trees loomed over her with the street lights barely giving any light. No where could she see a single soul not even a tiny bird.

The rain made it hard to recognize her surroundings.She was shivering now,the rain water slipping through her hair and scalp. Her hands had turned into big pieces of ice-her legs felt like rubber.She forced herself to remain calm.

After several deep breaths she looked around ignoring the frost biting wind which chilled her clothes and lungs only to realize that her blind running had led her to the forest and now she was standing on the service road with unknown surroundings.

She hadn't ever strayed so far and hence she was unfamiliar with the landmarks- as if there were any she would recognize anyways.

She only recongised this road based on the vivid memories of her traveling through this road once or twice.

She tried to book a cab with the icy cold water seeping through her bones but evidently there was no internet. She shoved it angrily in her pocket knowing well that it was all her fault.

The thunder seemed to fill the unusually silent forest and all she knew that she was on some kind of a road with trees surrounding her. Frustrated at her own sea of ignorance she looked around her in vain.

The whole place looked like an empty vessel. She tried to trace her footsteps from where she rembered coming from but the forest seemed like a curtain of riddles with about hundreds and thousands of curves.

She gave up after a fe minutes punching the air in frustration. She did not know where she was. She was cold. Her legs hurt. She was hurt.

At the moment she became just like the dark clouds, warm tears again started falling on the damp ground. She threw the card on the ground which she had been clutching.

Her white knuckles looked out of blood. She crouched down again her breath hitching as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat finally letting go of all the pent up frustration and tears.

As her tears fell-finally free from their cage-the hollow feeling in her chest became impossible to ignore. It wasn't just sadness or heartbreak it was the result of blindly trusting a man,blindly loving him just to have him make you realize that it was all a delusional. A wall between them which he simply humored.

She regretted every damn thing which had led up to this moment. Suddenly all the pained expression of her mother flowed through her,how her friends had looked at her wanting so badly to close the void.

The job-no her dream which she had neglected how she had felt after the weeks that followed-trying so utterly foolishly to mend herself while the outer world which she had shut for her ownself moved on.

With every sob the cavernous void expanded,as every drop that fell the emptiness and her regret over her own weakness seemed to grow heavier as if the tears that fell were an extension of her physical pain.

Choked sounds escaped her throat raw and shrill. All the months of muted sounds and agnuish finally broke loose where anyone couldn't see them the tears mixing happily with the rain water.

She looked up to the sky sucking in a deep breath trying to control herself her lips quivering,the lump dissolving bit by bit,her cheeks warm for which she was grateful but as soon as she would look down the scribbled words on the card would again make her thin constructed dam break loose.

Her tears stopped falling after a while. Her eyes no longer able to shed them,the choked sounds a mere whimper now,her mind not able to process anything but a single damp and cold thought.

She.....she wanted to end it all. Her breath hitched. All those months of trying to forget, trying to heal trying to bury her feelings were now let out .She had given her all and even then she was discarded just like that? What was she a plaything?

Her thoughts started to tumble over one another .What was the point of living,if like, everyone you loved just like walked up on you.She let out a bitter laugh.

Why? Why would he do that to her? Why would he end their relationship? He knew that she had certain things which she was dealing with alone at that time and still he just walked out? Balming it all on her? Had she not been good enough? And then he does this? Seriously?

She was tried of being always ignored. She did not know what to do. Huh. Even after all that she had dragged the ones that she loved the most intk her mess. Another laugh was left out.

I am dumb is what she would repeat over and over in her mind.She swayed to the rain unsure of what she was doing. Just swaying aimlessly.

That is when she saw it or rather heard it first. In the loud thunder of the night a piercing horn came from somewhere.

As she turned to look surprised and curious from where the sound was coming that is when she saw it. A black sleek car was speeding towards her-the car a mere blur. At first she was surprised because the road was ever barely used.

It didn't slow down . And it didn't look like the driver neither saw her and neither cared to slow down. At first she wanted to move then a idea formed in her mind.

She decided to end it all overridened with her emotions.

"I mean that is what I was thinking anyways." She thought to herself.What would she do if she lived anyways? She had been discarded. She had given her parents a hard time.

She had given her best friend a hard time why live a life troubling others when she could end it all? She had wasted her time thinking she could be loved.Rather than being humiliated she would rather have it when she was dead.

So she stood there not moving. In the middle of the deserted road all alone.The car was not slowing down either ignoring the slippery service road under it.It gained speed by the minute.

As the car closed the distance between them she heard footsteps behind her.She was not sure whether she was hallucinating or whether they were real. The last thing she rembered was that thinking if she would go to heaven or hell . Then seemingly the car closed down in her then a sharp pain pierced through her and then darkness.......