Right people, different worlds

I hope you get everything you want and more because when I said I wish you the best, I meant it. I hope you see yourself the way I saw you. We both taught each other, yet we still outgrew one another. I knew it would come eventually, but it still hurt. It hurt having to let the one you love so deeply go. It hurt how life moves on like nothing happened while you continue with such a heavy heart.

All of the days we thought were forever going to be our favourite changed. I never expected these memories to be the ones to hurt me most. It’s strange, even after you let that person go, whether in contact or not, you will feel a forever connection deep in your soul because you have never experienced these feelings of love and fear of losing someone who everything feels right with.

Either way, you will continue living in fear just because that person, your person, knows you inside out. When you develop this bond with someone, you learn everything you never would have known if your paths didn’t cross. You see parts of them no one else has and possibly never will.

So everyday you continue living in fear because how can you know so much about someone, their biggest secrets, then one day act like nothing was ever there. Sometimes love can be seen in the strangest ways, that’s silence. And silent love will forever be the hardest.

We were the right people but our futures were made for different worlds and sometimes you have to love someone enough to let them be happy without you, even if it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

If only you knew how much it hurt me to walk away, holding back everything I truly felt just so I could be strong enough to choose myself. It was never about not loving you anymore, it was about protecting my heart. But the truth is, a part of me still wants to be with you, still remembers the comfort we once had.

But I love you enough that it showed me when to step back, even when it hurts and even when you still care. Things are always going to feel too much. Your chest will feel too heavy to handle, especially at night. This is the time where the world goes quiet. All you have is yourself. You feel like you’re stuck in your mind with just your awful thoughts.

This is when you have no distractions. You continue going to sleep feeling like something is missing. That something is a simple goodnight which two weeks ago felt like it didn’t mean much. You feel the same when you wake up and can’t text the only person you want to talk to about your dreams and how you slept.

It will destroy you every time, but it also shows you how much you need to appreciate even the smallest gestures, even if it doesn’t seem to in the moment. It teaches you to be grateful because we ignore the quiet moments when they seem so small, until they’re gone and we realize they were actually the biggest ones.