Reborn : The end of old self

I feel like there is the need to change the older version of me. As that version has really broken me down and made me into a very depressing person. So from today, I decided that I want to bring change in me. I want to create a new life. Life that I am not more regretful of. Life that brings peace and harmony as it's very first gift. I really don't know how to do it yet. But the foremost step I take towards is that I decide whole heartedly and with my full commitment that I really wanted to change me and my life altogether. I want to adapt new habits. I want to kill old fears.

I want to unlearn every belief  the society or I may have taught myself during past experiences, may it be good or bad. I really feel it's must to change because I deserve every happiness, every fun , deepest love, deepest laughs, money, success, good relations.

I am more worthy than I can ever imagine. I am sorry to myself for always ignoring me and my needs. I am sorry to myself for not giving me the love I truly deserved. I am sorry to give others more priority than they deserve. I am sorry for not being myself just because it would make others happy. If they misunderstood me , atleast I should have understood myself and had enough respect to leave that place. I am sorry for draining my energy at the places where my no presence was required. Sorry for giving my precious time to the very wrong people of my life.

Sorry for forgetting my dreams for the sake of unwanted desires. I realised what I have always been running after was not my real goal. It was nothing but a waste of time. I really regret for being such dumb in past. I am sorry for listening all the false blames on me and didn't even take a stand. I am sorry for saying sorry when they were wrong. I am sorry for letting myself down. I am sorry for not asking help and just keeping it to me. I know I did most wrong to myself .But now I don't wish to carry this energy forward. I want to forgive myself and move ahead and live my life with complete mindfulness of my actions and habits.

I wish to start again. A new life with a different version. A new me that appears new to me and everyone around. A new me that feels home. And the first step I take towards it is by realising my past mistakes, accepting them and forgiving myself for it. Everyone make mistakes.

Sometimes it's good to make mistakes so you never make it again. So, you can actually live your rest of your life with vitality. I want god to assist me in every step and guide me in all my actions. As, now I am really done with the old me. Hello, new me. I am Excited what kind of life will you offer me.. Looking forward to it..

Love,

Vanshika