Chapter 1
It all started when she said she wanted to choose death.
She commented: “I already bought the Sniper.”
I stared at the screen, shocked.
The words triggered a phantom ache, a memory of when I felt I had no choice but to choose death, too.
My hands went cold.
Someone had just commented on my post, poised on the edge of suicide.
I replied instantly: “Don’t. Please.”
No reply.
Terror drove me to her DMs.
“You have a whole life ahead of yourself,” I typed. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
Just a few words. I should have done better than that.
I waited. I waited for the status to change.
No “Seen.” No “Delivered.”
My heart climbed into my throat.
Maybe she was already gone.
My mind was a siren, but my soul whispered that death was the only truth.
My body sat motionless, as if I hadn’t just looked into a mirror of my own past.
Then, it clicked.
She’d seen it.
She replied: “I’ve already decided.”
I froze. I didn’t try to convince her.
I didn’t beg her to talk or fight to save her.
I stayed still.
Everything in the world stopped.
You can’t do anything,
I told myself.
Nothing.
I sat there crying for someone I knew absolutely nothing about:
no name,
no history,
no identity.
But I wasn’t crying for her.
I was crying for her—the girl who once looked at herself in the mirror and chose the end.
The world says death is the enemy.
The world says death is the end.
Months passed. My memory remains a jungle of “what ifs.”
Is she still alive?
Did she die?
Did someone save her, or did she finally save herself?
Maybe I could have done more.
Then,
it clicked—a realization that had been sitting in the dark of my mind all along.
Maybe she chose death not because she was hurt, or because of the pain, or because she lacked a choice.
She chose it because death never lied to her.
Life was the liar.
The only difference between living and death is sleep.
Life promised a future. It promised love. It promised a beginning and an end.
Death never promised anything.
We only have the rumors we’ve heard.
But now, I remember what death whispered when no one was watching.
It said: “I am a new beginning.
I am beautiful.
I look like pain,
but I am peace.”
And now, I understand.
I’ve chosen death.
Because I am finally going somewhere new
