" MY INSECURITIES & HOPE"

Sitting on the same bench for the past two months.

Same mindset.

Same thoughts.

Lord am tired.

I don't know anymore.

I feel insecure about everything.

My face.

Body.

Color.

Vioce.

The way I speak.

My identity.

Especially my stomach.

I skip lunch.

Only because..I don’t want to be called the fat girl.

Am scared.

Who will date.. or marry a fat girl.

I feel like the most ugliest person In The world.

I feel like..I don't need to be here.

I feel like I was just a second thought to make.

Other girls are prettier than me.

Good body shape.

Pretty eyes.

Popular.

Well spoken.

And what about me.

What am I.

Just some left overs.

Am tired of feeling this way.

So I shut my heart.

From love.

I don't think..I will ever let this heart love anyone.

Because I don’t deserve love.

I don't deserve to be seen.

I wish I had someone to talk to.

Someone who gets and feel.

No sister.

No one to understand how I feel.

Am scared.

What if I become nothing.

What if I don't succeed .

What if I dont get that dream job.

What if I miss out.

Lord am scared.

Am so scared.

At this point.

Am depending on my faith.

I hope it works for me.

I hope it does.

I know I might be your list favorite.

But am turning to you.

Am broken.

Am hopeless.

I need to know.

Who I am.

This emptiness is become too much to handle.

Maybe if I had a sister.

We will have some girls conversation.

And I would feel better.