Operation Candy Tank
I sat back in a rolling chair just staring at it from under a vent that was blowing some cool air. Until, from the ceiling above, something dropped onto my head. I looked down at what fell: a perfectly sealed pack of SweetTarts Ropes. I was shocked beyond belief.
“Oh my god, oh my god” I said, as I stood up with the candy in hand, “This…this is…CANDY! Thank you, mysterious cold vent! I knew you were special, this room can’t tell me otherwise!”
My grin could’ve split my face. I opened the pack grabbing a SweetTart rope and practically devoured the candy stick. I slumped back into the chair ready to drift into a sugary daze in full bliss until I heard some sniffling from above in the vents.
I stood up looking up at the vents, trying to peer into the darkness. I looked at my bag of candy and then back at the vents. I stood up on the chair, holding up a SweetTart Rope to the vents. Little had I done that, and fingers poked out fishing for the SweetTart. I reached it up as high as I could and gave it to the eldritch living up there.
“Hello?” I said, waiting and watching the vent.
“Give me my candy back or I’ll…I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again,” the voice replied, trying so hard not to squeak or break down into tears.
I huffed, “Wow, nice one. I’m so terrified...Besides if it was supposed to be my last day or whatever, shouldn’t I eat the candy so I can die happily?”
The voice had gone silent for a bit before it spoke, “You know what? Fair.”
The vent squeaked and wiggled a bit, spurring dust to fall down, before it swung open on its hinges. I was looking right up at a guy with blue eyes, and curly brown hair.
“I’m Laura, you?” I asked.
“Toast, you can call me Toast” he grinned, extending down a dusty hand as I shook it.
“Who’re you talking to?” came another muffled voice from behind. Toast turned his head to look back to respond but was shoved to the side. For a moment there was a tangled mess of limbs and muffled voices. Now, I could see two faces peering down: both blue eyes, and curly brown hair.
“I’m Butter, the cooler one” Butter said, also extending a dusty hand.
“Nice to meet you too,” I said, “So…what’re you guys doing in the vents. You also work for Price-y pops? He put you on babysitting duty or what?”
Toast’s eyes lit up, “Oh you mean that guy with the bucket hat who walks around with an adult smoking Priouline stick? Yeah…we don’t work for him.”
I tilted my head, “So you…broke in here? And why exactly?”
Butter and Toast looked at each for a second, silently communicating with each other.
“You have to promise on fruit punch juice boxes, and candy that you’d never ever betray us, and you’re like an actually decent cool person.” Butter said, looking down at me with a serious face.
“I promise,” I said mustering my most solemn face, “I promise to the point I’d eat a lemon with salt to prove it.”
They both practically beamed like they’d won a gold medal. Butter begin to explain, “So anyways you know that bad guy moving bad stuff under moving trucks shady op thing going on?”
I nodded, “Same one that Laswell’s trying to solve?”
“Yeah, that one,” Toast nodded, “We’ve got a score to settle with the guy, and plus the best bonus is the green paper that buys us candy. We’ve been trying to get in on the tea too, but we’ve got no leads and stuff….so we snuck in here for intel.”
I chuckled, “So you’re basically the good bad guys?”
Butter laughed, “Yeah but we’re cooler, we got candy, juice, lots of explosives, and even more candy…we’re even gonna permanently borrow a tank”
I grinned, already feeling the excitement catching on like a cold, “You know…the same information I gave Laswell…you could use too. Besides, I kind of get the vibes you guys work a bit faster. No paperwork, right? Else I’m out.”
Toast raised his hands in surrender, “We promise, no paperwork, all the candy you can eat, and adventures of a lifetime…so can we get the lead to now? Pretty pleaseee?”
They both tried to muster their puppy dog eyes. It would’ve worked, but…who am I kidding? It worked…definitely worked 153%.
Butter spoke trying to sell their request even more, “If you’re wanting out of the office, as it smells like someone threw a printer ink bomb at the whiteboard, and the paper decided to revolt…we could use an extra pair of hands”
Toast clapped his hands excited, “A wonderful idea. We can steal a tank…or even two! Maybe leave like a cool message in like cotton candy scented pink glittery spray paint that we were here”
I chuckled, “Alright, alright, I’m sold. Get me outta here” I said extending my arms up as I stood on the chair.
They both grabbed my hands and helped hoist me up to the vents as I climbed inside. We closed the grate and screwed it back on. We crawled through the vents, using a map drawn in red crayons, and a blue glow stick as a light.
“This is crazy, not going to lie,” I whispered, “But honestly would 137% do it again, even though we haven’t even finished yet”
“That’s the idea,” Toast said, giggling like a mouse with a roll of cheese, “We kind of burn the rule book only to pop fireworks, you know?”
I chuckled, “I feel like I’ve gotten myself into something I’m not gonna leave without a few unforgettable problems.”
“Leave?” Butter said from ahead, “Ha, forget about leaving, you’re stuck with us now. You can’t outrun the chaos you’ve begun to slip into.”
“Oh boy,” I muttered, “Full steam ahead then.”
We made it to the vent marked on the map, the hallway right outside of Price’s office. The three of us squished together peering down to see if it was clear or not.
Price was standing outside his office, paces away, talking to another personnel, discussing something.
“Okay, ready to go.” Butter said.
I panicked; Price was right there and we’d be caught. “Wait, but he’s right there! This will be over before it begins.” I whispered.
Toast simply smirked, “That’s half the thrill.”
“What?” I said, confused out of my mind.
Butter held up something small, wrapped in blue duct tape and unicorn stickers with pink glitter. “Smoke glitter bomb, homemade, and obviously definitely doesn’t have paprika with black pepper in it,” he said grinning.
I looked to him as if he was crazy and simply shook my head, “Why did I not see that coming? This is the ‘crazy’ version of crazy.”
“Yep,” Toast said cheerfully, “Get used to it.”
“I’ll try,” I replied, bracing myself.
“Let’s go then!” Butter said grinning already.
The vent burst open and the glitter bomb dropped first. The last time I saw Price in the cloud of pink smoke and glitter, was his eyes narrowed on mine from down the hall. Toast dropped down and then Butter as I followed. We darted into Price’s office, shutting the door and locked it, pushing a filing cabinet over to secure.
“What’re we looking for?” I asked, heart pounding.
“Tank keys” Toast said, rifling through the drawers. Meanwhile, Butter was spinning in circles, giggling on the rolling chair. I went over to the shelf looking through the folders and files of papers. The door was being rammed into from the outside, the wood creaking in protest.
“Do tanks even have keys?” I asked, pausing for a minute.
The two paused as well thinking. I rolled my eyes as I headed over to the desk, trying to turn on the computer. The lockscreen showed up, and luckily, we found the yellow buttery sticky note with our key. I punched in the password and searched ‘do tanks have keys?’.
They didn’t.
I looked at the other two, who were looking away trying to act innocent. The door was slammed into again, the filing cabinet screeching as it moved with the things we’d piled onto it.
“We have to go now or else,” I said looking at the window.
“Window it is,” Butter said hoisting it open as he began to climb out. I followed him as well as we held onto the thin ledge, climbing down the weakly creaking water pipe. We’d made it down safely and looked up to see Toast in the window.
“Wait for me!” he yelled down before running back a bit and jumping out the window.
“I BELIEVE I CAN FL-”, he landed with a thud in the bushes as Butter and I laughed.
“You wish, though with those chicken legs I wouldn’t be surprised, now let’s go” I said, as we crept along the backside towards the edge of the building.
“LAURA!” we heard Price yell from the office.
