Chapter 1
I was still dizzy from the whole scene that upheld and felt my heart tear down at the sight of my baby taken away, yet even though I only had him in my chest for a brief moment, it was like his face was engrained into my brain, like an image that had been stuck in my memory. He was gorgeous and absolutely adorable, his soft black hair grazed my skin, his delicate white lightly watered skin caressed mine, creating a tight bond in my chest with this baby. MY baby. I wanted to keep him with me so bad, but I couldn't. He deserved better than an uncapable mother that would keep hiding from the mistakes of her past. He deserved a life with adoring parents who will never leave his side and love him like I did the moment he was laid on my torso.
A few hours passed where I had been dozing off, I woke up, feeling a terrible pain in my neck, hips, legs, and shoulders. I could feel the sympathetic look of the nurses due to the absence of family presence. I had already made my decision the day they tried to force abortion on me. I would never go back to that toxic villa again. People think this decision is completely idiotic. The media loves the decisions only because of the drama, and the father of this baby? Doesn't know this decision. The icing on the cake is he doesn't even know he is a father and I will never let him know. It could break everything, and his devilish family as well as mine knew better than to let me off the hook. Which was why I am here, in Seattle, a place I never ever been to before. Trying to find a way to live off the broken pieces of my past life.
After a few days in this depressing hospital, I finally went into my flat. It was just as depressing as the hospital. White walls surrounded the place, hard second-hand cushions, a dirty carpet, a horrific looking bathroom, and a 80s TV laid on the floor of what was supposed to be the living room.
I sighed, at least there was a welcome mat at the entrance, even though the flat doesn't say the same about it. I put my luggage in my bedroom, prepared food and showered, then started booking for job applications. I needed to do something, anything. I wasn't going to give up on myself. I have already given up on my baby. I had to do something.
Hours of searching, cursing, and keyboard-breaking later. I finally found something easy and quick to do. A wet nurse. At least this pregnancy would have been useful to someone. I cliqued on the yes panel to book for tomorrow morning. The job required to basically take care of a father's baby, who's mother is gone, and nurse him and feed him during the process. Which was perfect for me, I loved babies, and the job payed well enough.
I was finally doing something recovering. I read through the address, it looked like a very long drive from here, but I could work with that. I sighed, pushed my ball of Ramen away to take a deep breath, contemplating this episode of my life. This was probably the most rock-bottom I've felt in years. I tried standing up, grunting while doing so since I was still sore from the birth. A woman once told me "you never recover physically from the pregnancy, but nothing is more worth it than the gift of holding a life in your womb". I had never payed much attention to her saying, until now. I quickly started cleaning up the table, took my bowl of Ramen to the sink, and contemplated whether I'd clean it right that second or later. Well, it won't hurt anyone if I postpone my dish-washing day, will it? After convincing myself not to wash the dishes, I slumped down on my uncomfortable portable mattress and turned my nightstand light off. I kept twirling the ends of my long dark hair around my fore finger while gazing at the ceiling. I had just remembered all the tasks I would have to do for tomorrow:
Get up at seven
Make breakfast
Shower
Go to work
Arrive at nine
Go back from work
Arrive back at six
Make dinner
Shower before sleep
Write a little for my novel
Sleep
Ugh, this was going to be the beginning of an interesting busy routine.
Mace
:
"he's asleep. Oh, thank god."
I whisper-shouted to my sleepy self then made a happy dance at the sight of my beautiful new born laid down on my bed. Center of the bed, for extra precautions, you never know if he falls. I don't know how or when did my life take a whole 180° turn, probably the second my mother lunged at me for being irresponsible with my decisions and impregnating her co-worker's daughter. Which i'll be completely honest was entirely my fault, I was way too irresponsible and did not even think twice about that. Though I had wished Rachel would have given me a chance to prove her that i could be a good baby daddy, that i could support her through the pregnancy and hopefully would have comforted her and made it a little easier on her. I'm still confused and don't really know why she would keep it a secret. They gave me a 7 day long due to choose a name for him and I was still picking between "Aiden" and "Henry". Or perhaps "Alex"? Anyway.
I stared at his tiny little body peacefully sleeping after bawling his eyes out like nobody's business. His tiny chest rose and fell after each beat of his heart, and his adorable face looked just angelic. he had Rachel's dark hair, though for his eyes? he didn't open them yet. I really hope he gets mine, at least something that would make him like me, you know? It'll be nice having another green-eyed person in the family. I got up from the floor where I had been gazing at him on my knees, and decided to go take a shower, a short one to not leave him away. I put on a pair of navy blue pj's then walked out of the bathroom, I looked at him again, fearing he would have fallen while I was in there, or had suddenly stopped breathing or something. I marched up, downing on him as I saw how completely relaxed and calm he looked. A smile tugged at my lips, I understand now why families of four or five still want to make more babies even if they have enough of them. You just never get tired of seeing that tiny face, knowing that you and someone made this being. At the end, I resulted to sleeping on a portable mattress that I placed near the bed. I was NOT going to get him out of there, because then he'll cry and it will be like my effort at silencing him was worth nothing. So yes, I was in a huge penthouse, sleeping on a very uncomfortable portable mattress.
Kill me.
I gazed at the ceiling, twirling my fore finger through some of my brunette locks as I contemplated my current situation. I was a single boy dad in Seattle, had tons of new work to do for the U.W, and now have lost the one person that made stress and work life worth it...Rachel...she was dead...Apparently, from my mother's explanation, she died through the pregnancy and had chosen between her life and the baby's. I could just not believe it. My relationship with Rachel has always been difficult, I had loved her for so many years and she always rejected me. She wasn't the type to reject anybody, she was the kindest soul I ever knew. I always thought there was a hidden reason behind it, since I could literally feel the chemistry and tension between us in the air. I felt devastated that she had carried this baby without even telling me I was going to be the baby daddy...It would have been messed up but, this was Rachel...everything worked out well when I was with Rachel...well, now she's not part of our world. I held my face, trying to yank myself from the spiral of thoughts flying through my head as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. At least one good thing has happened, which was that I found Aiden-Henry-Alex a wet nanny. Let's hope she is gonna take care of him, I'll keep a camera in the doorway in case she escapes after doing some unhinged shit to him. So let me play this out, the tasks that I have for tomorrow are:
Get up at seven
Take a shower
Eat breakfast
Change Aiden-Henry- Alex's diapers
Prepare for my presentation with the PR team
Arrive at ten
Work
Go back home at five
Pay the wet nanny
Put Aiden-Henry-Alex to bed
Take a shower
Sleep.
Oh boy, this was the start of a never-ending hectic life.
***
The next morning, I woke up to cries of Aiden-Henry-Alex. Okay, this guy really needed a wet nurse, I won't make him another milk and have it all wasted because of him not wanting to drink it. I held him in my arms, securely placing his chin over my shoulder then softly rocking his back, trying to get him to stop crying but in vain. I then heard the doorbell ring. Strange, this was too early for a visitor. I marched up to the door, holding a milk bottle in the same hand that was holding Aiden-Henry-Alex, looking absolutely exhausted as I opened the door, revealing a woman, probably in her late twenties. She had short curly blonde hair, blue irises, a nude lip color, and a quite pale looking face, however she seemed tall, I could just look down and be met by her Barbie-ish face, which wasn't always the case with people due to my height.
"Do you need anything?"
Rachel
:
I tilted my head, feeling confused. So many wrong things happening at the same time, my head was spinning. First; I just knocked into the address that I checked five times already for the person to ask me if I need anything. Second; the person in question is Mace and Third; Mace was holding MY baby.
I was going to lose my mind, though my fake disguise was a smart move. If anybody recognized me from my past situation, I would have asked the ground to swallow me open. I wore a blonde wig I used to have...from my past. A very dark time, I wish it could have been under different circumstances. And I added some lenses and wore decent clothing, a white button up shirt, a pair of dark navy blue jeans and casual thrift-shop slippers.
"I'm sorry, uh...is this the right address for the 'wet-nanny' job?"
I asked, nervously, running a shaky hand through my blonde wig.
Mace took a minute before realization dawned at him and he nodded while
