First To Last Look

January\14\2010

Eliana’s first day of her new school

Walking through the halls, noticing a pattern of boys and girls all having no sense in style. I realized no one was like me, I mean like how I dressed.

As I walked through the halls, many people looked and stared at me, like if I was some other species. I just quickly walked to my first class.

My name is Eliana, I’m 14, and I’m gothic.

When I got into the class, I quickly noticed groups of girls and boys talking, boys talking about sports, as girls talked shit about people. As I looked around once more before taking a seat in the back, I saw an emo boy, he’s cute. He had a tear drop tattoo on his right cheek, and a couple of piercings. I don’t know what that tattoo means so I ignored it. My attention was on him; he didn’t notice me looking at him since he was on his phone.

After admiring him for a few seconds more, I took a seat in the back near him. Before the teacher came in, I was just looking at him. He sat alone, looking at his phone the whole time, he was pale and I got a good look to see a glance of his eyes. They were blue and beautiful, but one eye was covered by his side bang.

About five minutes later the teacher comes in. The class was fifty minutes long and a bit boring.

After class, the teacher called out to the boy, “Cari, can you stay after class?” Everyone looked at him. I learned his name was Cari. Cari had mumbled quietly, “Alright, cunt”, but I was the only one who heard. He stayed in his seat while everyone got their things.

As everyone left the class heading to their lockers, I stayed near the door so I could hear inside. I wanted to know what was happening inside, what the teacher was saying, and what he did. I said in my mind, “I wonder what they’re talking about” as I looked into a small gap. I couldn’t hear that well, but I heard her say, “I need you to pass the next test. Me and the other teachers looked at your grades and they’re really bad, you need to pass at least this test so you can pass the grade.” My eyes widened at her words, but Cari looked like he didn’t care. I felt bad for him. I know it’s my first day and I don’t know him, but maybe we could be friends, and he’s a person that looks like he wouldn’t judge me, I wanted to help.

After they were done talking, the teacher and Cari headed to the door and I quickly walked away.

As he walked to his locker, I took the chance to pull him in an empty classroom. He looked at me annoyed and said, “What the fuck? Who are you?” I didn’t say anything, I just pulled him onto a chair and said nicely “sit.” I had told him what I heard, “I heard the teacher speaking to you and what she said.” My hands went on my hips as he looked at me and sarcastically joked, “so you’re stalking me, is that right? We just met and you’re already in love with me?” He smirks. I roll my eyes in annoyance and say in my head “why am I doing this? God help me.” I look at him and demanded with a strong voice, “Shut the fuck up, you’re lucky I’m going to help you in math, because then you can’t graduate to high school.” His cold expression turned a bit offended as his eyes widened a bit, he said, “My bad, swagger.” I rolled my eyes once again as my arms crossed my chest “Okay, I have to go to my next class. After school I will wait for you so we can walk to my house.” He stopped me before I could walk away, he asked me in a sweeter tone, “Why are you helping me?” I looked at him and said, “Good question.” I then walked out of the classroom; he came out after.

As I walked to my next class, Cari shouted to me, “Later swagger!” The comment made me smile but I didn’t look back.

After school, I waited for him outside of the school. I looked at the spray-painted dicks on the wall, the way the school looks like it would collapse if it rained too hard. Everything and everyone in the school is fucked up, I just know it. It may be my first day, but I just know it.

A minute later, Cari walks out the school doors.

I led the way to my house; I got to know him a bit. I told him my name was Eliana and how we are just going to study, nothing else, he nodded.

When we got to my house, we went straight upstairs to my room. He looked around my room like it was something special when there’s nothing. My room just had a vanity, some fairy lights on my bed’s bars, and some posters of “the cure,” “Siouxsie and the banshees,” and “Lebanon Hanover.” Those were the only cool things in my room.

We sat at my vanity; I sat on the chair as he stood on his knees. I taught him how to do factions because he didn’t know. He was making me feel like a genius, he didn’t know anything, I don’t how he’s even in eighth grade. I taught everything I learned from my other school.

After an hour or two, we finished everything.

I asked him, “What do you want to do?” He didn’t know. I got up and grabbed my makeup bag “May I do your makeup?” I asked. He nodded “Sure.” I did a small jump and clapped my hands. I told him to sit in the chair, and he did. Since he was wearing eyeliner, it was a little easier to do his eye makeup. I placed his head on my chest as he looked up at me, and I drew a little more eyeliner on him. It felt nice to have someone to hang out with. I didn’t like to have people over since my dad is kind of abusive, that’s why I have Cari over when my dad’s not home. I made Cari’s makeup match mine, with the gothy look. I liked doing his makeup, he was still, he made sure not to move.

After I was done, we went on my bed and talked. I laid next to him, he put his arm around me, and we stared at the ceiling, and talked.

Soon, I heard a car pull up in the driveway. My eyes widened when I heard the noise, I got up and looked out the window to see my dad’s car, he came home early. I looked back at Cari who sat up on the bed, I told him, “Hide in the closet, now!” He quickly gets up and rushes to my closet. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs as I sit on my vanity chair and pretend to study. I was fucked; my father didn’t like anyone over, especially boys.

My dad walks in and looks at me in disappointment as soon as he sees me sitting at the vanity. My father said “Eliana! You know I hate when you have makeup on. I don’t know why I even bought that vanity and makeup shit for you, I’m so stupid.” I didn’t say anything, there was nothing for me to say I would have gotten in trouble. I stood up in front of him and apologized “I know and I am truly sorry” I stared at the carpet floor. He grabs my chin and says in a strong voice “look at me when I’m speaking to you!” I nod and he lets me go. I asked myself, “Is Cari seeing this?” As I’m distracted in my thoughts, I didn’t notice my father looking at the shoes in the corner. When I turn to the direction my father was staring at, I see the shoes. He asked, “who’s shoes are those?” While holding a fake smile, but I knew deep down he wanted to rip my face off. I tried to make an excuse saying, “Those are mason, he left them in my room.” Mason is my brother. He knew I was lying.

He took a deep breath and slapped me. He yelled “stop fucking lying! I know those aren’t Masons! I know you have a boy over!!” He looks everywhere, messing my room up. He checks under my bed, each corner, everywhere except the closet. He stares at the closet then at me “If I find a boy in here, I will skin you alive!” My hands shake, I get nervous, what if he finds Cari?

My father swung the closet door open, but Cari wasn’t there. My eyes widened but I kept my cool when my father looked back at me. Questions fill my head “Where’s Cari? Was he hiding? Did he hear us? Where is he?” My father turns to me and slaps me once more, “If I ever catch you with a boy, I will kill you and burn your body, do you hear me!” He yells. When he hit me, I fell to the ground, my eyes in fear at his words, for a 54-year-old he’s strong.

My father kicked me in the leg before leaving my room.

After my father left the room, Cari came out of hiding and ran to me, he held me close to his chest. My eyes fill with tears, I cry in his chest. I quietly tell Cari “You need to go home. If my father sees you, we are both dead.” He helps me up and nods. I told him to leave through the window, and he climbed out. Before jumping down, he looks back at me, his eyes meet mine, the first time we made eye contact with each other.

When he left, I lay on my bed crying my heart out until I fell asleep.