Heavy Is The House
It was November. The leaves had turned colors and covered the ground. The weather wasn’t too cold, but there was a smooth breeze. Just another day in the D, and there was beauty in that.
Students talked about whatever they wanted to share while the hour ticked by. Henrad Public High had about 2,000 students and barely enough staff to keep things running. Most kids had no wealth, and their friends were in the same boat, so nobody really noticed the poverty around them. Living in inequality felt natural—they adapted and got what they could however they could.
The cafeteria was always loud, its volume shifting without warning. The cafeteria smelled like spilled chocolate milk mixed with dirty mop water and food that didn’t know what it wanted to be. It was the kind of smell you learned to ignore if you wanted to eat. Bonsai breathed through his mouth and kept it moving.
“Nigga, all I know is you better control ya’ temper… ’cause if you get turned up, nobody’s gonna be able to hold you.” Qulture said, trying to diffuse the tension before it even started.
Bonsai took a deep breath, hunched over his gray tray of baked chicken and macaroni that smelled like wet feet. Tension hung heavy as he stared across the cafeteria at Lamena, sitting with Cane and laughing. Cane and Lamena had a history before Bonsai came along. They called it a committed relationship, but the way things looked, clearly it wasn’t considering her picking and choosing.
Bonsai is a brown-skinned male that stands about five eleven tall, with 360 waves in his head beneath the growing afro. You can say he’s been wolfing but not because he wanted to.
“Don’t overthink it, cuz. You know who she loves—she’s showing you. Let that be that.” Qulture said the best way he could. Bonsai nodded and turned back to his soggy chicken and macaroni, tasting like paste, with chocolate milk on the side that was nearly spoiled. “You’re really smashing that nasty-ass food,” Qulture frowned.
“It’s not bad when you don’t have the money nor a car to pick up a custom lunch.” Bonsai teases at Qulture. High School in Detroit is the beginning of seeing people from two different worlds, the poor and the not-really-poor. Bonsai’s family is on the poor side more so than Qulture and his dad. Even though there are obvious differences between them that never stopped them from being close friends from diapers to high school.
“My lunch ain’t custom—just about ten bucks.” Qulture shrugged and sipped his protein shake.
“Whatever, nigga,” Bonsai said. “You always in my love life business. What’s up with you and that girl Samya?”
“I still fuck with her, but I ain’t tryna’ cuff right now,” Qulture shrugged. He didn’t think about Samya much daily—he liked her, but it was mostly about sex.
“You that type of nigga who always playin’ with a bitch’s heart,” Bonsai said flatly. Qulture made a face, showing he didn’t care. “One day that shit is going to bite you in your ass.” he added, drinking the last of his chocolate milk.
“Well when it comes to bite my ass, imma poke it out.” Qulture said, and they both laughed.
“You keep playin’,” Bonsai said, lowkey watching Lamena at the table with her so-called friend Lesa. Bonsai couldn’t stand Lesa—she rubbed him as phony. One thing about Bons, he don’t fuck with phonies.
Lamena looked over, then looked away immediately when their eyes met. That pissed Bonsai off more than anything.
“Bitch can’t even look me in the eyes. Dirty ass.” Bonsai frowned. Qulture shook his head looking over at Lamena’s table.
“Man,” Qulture said in a higher-pitched voice. “Leave that dirty tramp alone.” Qulture said honestly.
The bell rang signaling that lunch was over and the janitors began collecting the trash from everyone’s tables. “Man shut up. These bitches need to leave yo ass alone and give ya boy some love.” Bonsai stood up from the cafeteria table. Qulture did the same and stuck his middle finger up at Bonsai.
“That’s the thing cuz, these bitches can’t leave me alone.” Qulture said and dusted his shoulders as they threw their trash away in the bins near the exit door to the hallway.
Some of the students threw their trash out on the way out and some ran through the exit door in the cafeteria while the staff wasn’t looking. Principal Long’s voice crackled over the intercom immediately.
“Good afternoon students. Head straight to your fourth-hour classes. In five minutes, security guards will patrol the hallways. Anyone caught in the halls after the bell will be suspended. Enjoy class and please do not be late.”
“That ain’t what I heard,” Bonsai muttered, his shady voice cutting through. Qulture frowned.
“Whachu’ hear?” Qulture asked.
“Oh, nothing.” Bonsai joked and Qulture slapped the back of Bonsai’s neck. “Nigga gone.” Bonsai laughed and pushed Qulture in response.
“Whateva’ you heard nigga it ain’t true, I know my skills on point.” Qulture shrugged. Bonsai twisted his face up.
“Nigga, not like I give one fuck about your ‘skills’,” Bonsai said, quoting airily with his fingers. Qulture always talked about his sexual escapades; Bonsai never cared, but he listened out of love—annoying as hell.
“I know you don’t but the bell finna’ ring, I’m out.” Q said and they dapped each other up.
“Peace, imma hit you.” Bonsai nodded.
They parted for fourth-hour classes. Bonsai barely sat before Mrs. Janson called him to the front.
She was an older white teacher—not fully racist, but just enough to confuse you. Bonsai didn’t want to talk to her; he didn’t know why she wanted him, but he approached anyway.
“Mr. Bonsai Wayburn, you didn’t show up for class yesterday. Why is that?”
“My mom said I didn’t have to go. We’re going through a lot right now as a family.” Bonsai stated simply.
“Well, Mr. Bonsai, if your mother knew you would be absent then she was supposed to inform the front office of your absence. Because of your attendance constantly being unexcused, I can’t cut you any slack on your C+ in my class.”
“I never asked for slack. I know the consequences,” Bonsai sighed.
“What’s going on with you, Bonsai?” she pressed. He was eight-teen, sharp, and patience ran thin—blame the Gemini energy.
“If I wanted to share, I would, but it’s not appropriate right now.”
She straightened, swallowing her pride.
“You’re right, Bonsai. I apologize.”
“Can I sit back down?” She nodded, and Bonsai returned to his seat, secretly smirking. Defeating a bully felt good.
Later that day Bonsai found himself at Keisha’s Pancakes down the street from the school. As Bonsai looks at the menu he thinks about his little sister Secret who probably will only get a hot meal from school today. He checked his pocket—twelve dollars. Pathetic.
After paying, he leaned against the brick wall outside. Streets taught him to watch his back. Phones down. Head on a swivel. Don’t be oblivious.
Bonsai took a deep breath and rested his back against the brick building and he noticed a money truck pull out of the parking lot of the bank slow and heavy. He continued to watch longer than he probably should have. The guards moved calmly and fearlessly as though nothing in this world would dare touch them. Bonsai memorized the name on the side of the armored truck, without realizing he was doing it.
“Who the fuck just came through the door?!” Bonsai’s stepfather Paulo yelled from the back room.
“It’s me, Bonsai.” Bonsai responds as he locks the doors behind himself. The house smelled like beer, open alcohol bottles and cigarettes. As he approached the steps to the upstairs he noticed his mother passed out drunk with her body stretched sideways on the couch, mouth wide open and four empty beer bottles scattered across the living room floor and near the staircase.
Bonsai sighed but didn’t utter a word as he stepped over a few of the beer bottles heading to his baby sister’s room. “Secret, what you doing?” Bonsai says as he steps into her bedroom. Secret didn’t respond, she just continued to color with her tongue tucked between her teeth and focused like the world around her wasn’t falling apart.
“Mommy feed you today?” Bonsai inquired.
Secret shook her head no and without looking up at Bonsai. Bonsai reached into the bag and pulled out the styrofoam containers, setting them onto her bed. Bonsai watched as her attention changed from coloring to the food. It is evident that Secret is loved by her brother and her being only six years old makes her even more important to protect. Bonsai’s not happy with the living arrangements his family is in right now but in reality, that family is fucked. It was survival of the fittest at this point and Bonsai and Secret were unreasonably selected.
“Mommy was throwing up earlier.” Secret says. Bonsai continued to chew his food and thought about how he’d respond.
“She did? I’m sure she’s okay, I’ll check on her okay?” Secret nods and munch on her butter pancakes.
Once Bonsai finished eating with Secret he decided to go downstairs and face the music of having to take care of his drunk mom instead of starting on his homework assignments and studying for exams.
“Ma, get up.” Bonsai gently shakes his mom and then there they were. At the top of the stairs was Paulo with some mixed female with a big forehead. Bonsai was completely confused and disgusted by another female being inside of their home.
The other woman looked down slightly embarrassed because the way Bonsai was looking at her, she clearly felt as dirty as she looked. They walked passed quickly just as Diana woke up and saw the other woman. “Na, who the fuck is dat? Huh, Paulo?” Diana began to stand up slowly but surely as she gathered herself once and for all.
“Bitch don’t act like you don’t know who the fuck you dealin’ with. Quite frankly you need to shut yo mothafukin’ mouth because I’ll fuck dis bitch right in front of ya.” Paulo stated simply.
Bonsai frowned at Paulo and puffed his chest, “Nigga, what you just say to my mama? You don’t want that type of beef with me Paulo.” he assured him.
“Nigga, I’ve been beating yo ass every time you step to me. I dare you to raise yo mothafukin’ hand again to me in my shit; you gon’ get the fuck out. You and yo sister!” He grims Bonsai and then walks out with the other woman.
Bonsai’s neck snapped in the direction of Diana and he began walking over towards her with his forehead wrinkled from frustration, “Ma, why the fuck you keep dealing with this clown ass nigga?” he asked.
“I love him Bonsai, what the fuck man. He takes care of me, what am I going to do? I can’t get a fucking job because I have to watch Secret.”
“Some watching you are doing. You were just laid out, drunk as fuck and Secret didn’t eat since lunch at school. Until I fed her, come on now.”
“Shut the fuck up boy, I’m doing what the fuck I can!” Diana screams and goes up the stairs, stomping. “Tired of this shit.” she said, groaning.
The slamming of Diana’s room door caused Secret to jump as she sat in the bed finishing her food. Secret had been at home all day listening to Diana and Paulo go back and forth. The last thing she wanted to hear was this bullshit again.
Bonsai knows there’s not anything he can say to convince his mother that Paulo is draining her of every bit of light she once had and turning her into someone who’s no longer secure in themselves. What he does understand is that Secret isn’t safe in this environment and he needs to do something fast to give his sister everything she deserves; if his mother wants to join he has her back.
Later that night, Bonsai searched the company name he’d spotted on the truck earlier. Armored. Cash. Big Money. Bonsai ain’t never thought to do no violent shit before, but it seems like the good guys always finish last.
Bonsai texts his friend to attempt to get his mind off of things. Zi was usually up at this late anyway — so it wasn’t a long shot.
From Bonsai:
Wassup bro
The text dots popped up almost immediately, signaling Zi’s pending response.
From Zi:
Bro, I’m glad you hit me come outside nigga. I got some shit to tell you.
Bonsai walked out of the home not long after receiving the text message wearing just a gray hoodie. He shivered as soon as he stepped out of the home, the door clicked shut behind him and the cold hit like it had been waiting on him.
He sucked his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets, shoulders rising towards his ears, as he headed down the street to Zi’s family home. The block was quieter than usual. A streetlight flickered halfway down, buzzing softly. Most of the houses sat dark - boarded or barred windows, sagging porches and unkept lawns full of leaves and litter. Bonsai is from a hood that forgot and neglected itself.
Bonsai cut through the side yard, gravel crunching beneath his sneakers. The sound of low music playing from the backyard filled his ears. Zi’s family home doesn’t fit on this block. The paint wasn’t peeling. The porch light actually worked and even the gate didn’t lean sideways like it was giving up on security. Bonsai walked through the side gate and noticed Zi who was already back there.
Bonsai sat next to Zi at the bar that his family built a summer ago. “What’s been good man, I ain’t heard from you in a lil’ minute.” Bonsai said to Zi as he took a seat in the stool.
“Man, some bullshit has been happening. Other than that I’ve been good.” Zi responds. Bonsai nods and Zi continues. “My mom’s found out that I’ve been… Fucking and I may have..”
“Aww hell no.. Don’t say what I think you’re about to say.”
“Bro, I got Raechel pregnant. She is 12 weeks bro.” Zi says lowly. “Ion know how to feel about this shit.
“This our senior year in high school, it’s going to be a challenge but you have to do it if y’all are keeping the baby.” Bonsai responds.
“Raechel ain’t tryna’ keep the baby, and that’s where the problem is.”
“Whaaat? She on that shit bro?” Bonsai was completely confused. He thought Raechel was feeling his man’s Zi. They even talked about kids one day, so why the sudden change of heart now that the shit hitting the fan?
“Right and that shit fucked up bro because I want to try to be there for my seed. She ain’t tryna’ give a nigga a chance though. She automatically sees this pregnancy in a negative space and that shit not okay because me and her both know it was gonna be a possibility of this shit.” Zi vents.
“Nigga how’d yall know?” Bonsai questions.
“I nutted in her a few times. Couldn’t pull out. But she a down ass girl and I know I can trust her to not bring me no fucking STD or STI because she only fucking me.” He shrugged. Bonsai laughed a little and shook his head at his friend. Zi is definitely a character but Bonsai believes that Raechel don’t be on no thotting and bopping’ type shit no way so it must be something else going on.
“Y’all tweakin’. I ain’t nuttin’ in no bitch unless I’m strapped.” Bonsai commented.
“Nigga, you’re a virgin. Of course, you’re not bussin’ in nobody.” Zi teases Bonsai which led to them tussling back and forth. “Bro, get off me bitch.” Zi says as he super pushed Bonsai off of him.
“Bitch don’t touch me and stop fucking playin’ too much. I got something to say too.” Bonsai and Zi sat back down and finished talking. “Today that nigga Paulo brought some dirty bitch into my moms crib and fucked the bitch.”
“Woah, Paulo has no chill. I can’t wait til’ your mom get the fuck away from that nigga.”
“I feel the same way but you know what bruh, I got something for his ass.” Bonsai nods.
“What is that supposed to mean Bons?” Zi was scared of the look in Bonsai’s eyes as he talked about his step-father. It was almost as if he viewed that nigga good as dead before his death.
“You got my back?” Bonsai asked Zi and Zi answered without question.
“Bro, you know I got you. That’s on everything, and I know you got my back too bro.” They slap hands together and dap.
“Ight then.” Bonsai smirks. It always feels good to have peer support especially when you feel hurt. Paulo was the least of Bonsai’s problems and money is his number one. He felt this was the perfect time to switch gears and address problem number one. “I saw something today, and I feel like it’s a good beginning to my plan to get this money. You in?” Bonsai asks Zi.
“What type of shit you talking about man? I ain’t no fucking El Chapo or some shit.” Zi complains.
“Nigga, I’m talking about..” Bonsai lowers his voice and whispers to Zi, “robbing a money truck.”
“Nigga, what are you crazy bro. Hell no!” Zi exclaimed and shook his head. Zi’s eyes were wider than bo dollars.
“Nigga what you mean, its easy we can get in and get the fuck out. Bodies might get dropped but my nigga we’re going to be leaving with a load of fucking dough to get your mom’s car back on the road, insulin for nana-” Before Bonsai could finish his sentence, Zi began waving his hands in front of Bonsai’s face.
“Nigga, don’t you bring my family into this shit bro.” Zi frowns. “Fuck is wrong with you? You tweakin’ man, I’m fina’ go in the house.” he said in irritation.
“Bro, with or without you I’m robbing shit. I ain’t trying to drop no innocent bodies or no shit like that but shit I gotta take care of me and mines by any means necessary. I apologize about bringing yo’ fam up but I’m just saying.”
“I feel you bro, and you do what you gotta do. I respect you but I’m not built for no shit like that so imma fallback.” Zi stated honestly, throwing both of his hands up in surrender motion. Bonsai couldn’t help but to respect that.
“Ight then, neva’ tell nobody about this conversation. I’m the last mothafuka’ someone would suspect of robbing shit.”
“I got you, I ain’t never been no talkative mothafuka’ about somebody else’s business no way.” Zi said straight up. “But real talk bro, don’t be on no shit like that. It’s other ways to make money man.” Zi expressed.
“Like what? My sister and I be hungry half the time if people ain’t looking out for us, the hot water is off right fucking now. I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Bonsai complained while causally looking around at the night skies for an answer. Perhaps if he wished for his reality to change it would happen a little faster.
“I get it… I mean what about your uncle Larry? I’m sure he’d look out for ya’ll more often if you tell him the real.” Zi suggested. Zi’s family wasn’t rich but they didn’t have to go without for long before resources from other family members would pull through. Seeing Bonsai struggle the way he has most of his life is very saddening and all he can do is try to convince his mom to help his friend out from time to time.
“Yeah, but you’re asking me to continue depending on someone else when I can just go out there and get my own shit.” Bonsai responded.
“I get what you’re saying but think about it like this dawg; if you go to prison behind this shit, you gon’ have to depend on the very mothafukas who put you in this situation in the first place.” Zi said honestly.
“Man you always on some Black Panther type shit.” Bonsai laughed. Zi just sat there looking at him with a serious face because he meant what he said. Zi’s father always taught him the game Black people were placed inside of and how to win.
Zi sighed out of irritation, repeating black concerns to people who don’t understand or consider it can be tiresome. “You think they built this system for us to win in it? ” He asked simply.
Bonsai’s jaw tightened as he thought about what was said to him. “So what? I’m supposed ta’ keep taking Ls? Just be patient while everybody else eats?” Bonsai responded.
“I get you.” Zi muttered under his breath, eyes still on the street but attempting to find a way to reach Bonsai without pushback.
Silence filled the night and guys were just sitting there underneath a bright full moon. Bonsai took a deep breath and looked to the sky for answers. Bonsai’s stomach turned slightly at the thought of being stuck in this poverty cycle. Bonsai feared nothing more.
Validation or an approval isn’t what Bonsai expected Zi to provide. Oddly, he wanted Zi to successfully talk him out of committing the act. Bonsai just isn’t sure if this advice hit home for him or not. Fear wasn’t about prison — he didn’t think he’d get caught. This was bigger than that. Being small and stuck was not an option and that caused his stomach to turn.
Maybe silence was the loudest warning of all.
