Chapter 1
This story explores dark psychological themes and complex emotional trauma. Please read with caution if you are sensitive to any of the following:
Psychological Manipulation & Gaslighting: The story depicts a highly toxic and manipulative relationship.
Ishmael waited patiently in the restaurant. He’d had to make the reservation three months in advance for Sarah, his girlfriend of three years, to arrive. With perfect hair, a radiant cologne, and a brand-new suit, he felt ready. It wasn’t a special day, but Ishmael sometimes felt that Sarah was too good for him. He had to try harder or she would leave him, he would tell himself occasionally.
“Guess who?” said a sweet voice while covering his eyes from behind.
“Sarah,” Ishmael replied with a grin from ear to ear.
She smiled back at him. Her wavy black hair was carefully styled, her makeup perfect; she had an elegance like a runway model, always wearing clothes that accentuated her body without looking pretentious. He leaned over so she could sit beside him, eager for her to notice his new clothes. Sarah, however, sat on the other side, starting small talk. Ishmael didn’t want to show his disappointment, so he continued as if nothing were wrong, though his movements felt stiff and uncomfortable.
When their food arrived, Ishmael ate slowly, without an appetite. He told himself he didn’t need compliments, but he felt incomplete, awkwardly balancing his glass in his left hand.
“Is something wrong?” she asked with a smile.
“It’s nothing,” he replied, a bit disappointed.
“I thought it was because your new suit got stained.”
Ishmael smiled while Sarah looked at him sweetly. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? You look more radiant than usual today.”
“It’s not that... it’s just that you always look so good that I wanted to look perfect for you. I shouldn’t have thought you wouldn’t notice, I’m sorry...” he replied, looking at her face. When his gaze landed on her lips, he looked away.
“Why are you apologizing? I also bought something new today.” Sarah took out her makeup bag and showed Ishmael a new lipstick. “Do you want to try it?”
Ishmael’s face turned as red as a tomato. He was embarrassed that an adult like him would blush like a child, but he couldn’t help it; it was as if she read him perfectly. His girlfriend put a bit of lipstick on his lips and began to laugh. Ishmael, confused, just looked at her.
“I thought you wanted to try it immediately,” she whispered, lowering her voice. “However, if you want to try it properly, we shouldn’t stay here so long.”
Ishmael began to eat, trying not to seem too rushed, but he only wanted to finish the meal and taste that peach-scented lipstick. When they finished, Sarah frantically searched her purse.
“No, no, no, no,” she said, still searching.
“Did something happen?” Ishmael asked, uneasy.
“I don’t have my wallet. Did I leave it in the shop where I bought the lipstick?” Sarah pressed her index finger to her chin, trying to think. “How about, while I pay the bill, you call the shop? And then we’ll go to the store together.”
She only nodded, looking confused. When Ishmael paid the bill, she looked more relaxed. “They say they found my wallet.”
Ishmael smiled and drove to the shop. It was a large place with so many products it made someone like Ishmael dizzy.
“Is that the boyfriend you’re always talking about?” said the shop assistant, a lady in her forties whose favorite hobby was mundane gossip.
“Sssh!” Sarah interrupted the embarrassed assistant. “I never said anything.”
“You’re a lucky boy. This girl spent hours choosing the lipstick that looked the prettiest and smelled the best for her boyfriend’s tastes.”
“My wallet is here, right? Thank you very much,” Sarah sighed in frustration, pushing Ishmael out of the boutique.
Ishmael looked back slightly and noticed his girlfriend’s red ears as she led them to the exit. When they got into the car, Sarah opened her wallet, asking Ishmael for the dinner total.
“Instead of paying me,” he mentioned, lifting her chin with his left hand and looking into her eyes, “I’d rather try that lipstick you spent hours looking for.”
The moment Ishmael’s tongue intertwined with Sarah’s, it was as if the world had vanished. The kiss sought nothing more than permanence; it was a warm refuge where silence said everything words could not.
They headed to Ishmael’s apartment shortly after, their fingers lightly intertwined, impatient. When they arrived, the lights went out.
Sarah woke up first. She didn’t look rested, but calculating. Ishmael, on the other hand, slept peacefully while holding her. Careful not to wake him, she pulled away and took some clean clothes from the drawers. She surveyed the apartment—her clothes, perfumes, accessories. It was easy to see that Ishmael’s life revolved around her. Yet, they still didn’t live together after three years. Sarah simply wasn’t ready, and Ishmael respected that.
Before leaving, she took a small stuffed rabbit from her bag and squeezed it tightly. She opened her wallet; the amount inside was less than what her meal had cost. She had never intended to pay for it.
Did Ishmael suspect anything? Of course not. And Sarah knew it.
Sarah thought about the moment she had left her wallet on purpose. She had been a customer of that shop for years; she knew she could pretend to forget it and could even imagine the assistant’s words upon seeing Ishmael. The result was exactly as expected.
She smiled before leaving, writing a small note for Ishmael to read when he woke up. Then, with a cold expression, she left the apartment.
I enjoy every moment we spend together. Let’s make plans soon; I want to buy you a coffee for yesterday. Your suit made you look like a prince. I leave in body but I stay in soul. ♡
Ishmael loved those things; she, on the other hand, felt like vomiting.
