Chasing her first love

“Hey, Honey! What are you doing here alone? I’ve been searching everywhere for you. You are sitting here alone like you’re on a date with the moon...or are you dreaming about your Prince Charming?”

Oh, I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Hasini. It means “smile.” My parents gave me that name, they say that I bought smiles in their life.

Yet, no matter how short or simple our names are, friends love to give us nicknames.

Guess what nickname my friends gave me? They chopped off the “si” in Hasini, called me Hani, and it ended up as “Honey.”

I love sitting under the sky full of stars, looking at the moon, enjoying the cool breeze wrapping around me, and my favorite songs drifting through the silence. I’m madly in love with the moon that lights up the sky, it also lifts my mood.

By the way, I’m sure you’re curious about where I am and what I’m doing here.

I am at the school where I once studied. Three years have passed, and today, all of us old classmates have gathered here to meet.

Everyone inside is talking about what they’ve been doing over the past three years and how their lives have changed.

They were reminiscing about their school life playing, singing, and laughing. Once again, recollecting the mischievous things they had done in those days, ‌they were just as happy, playing and teasing one another as if time had never passed.

No matter how much our lives and habits have changed over these three years, our friendship has remained the same and that makes me truly happy.

Friendship is the one thing that never grows old and never fades away.

‘Unforgettable and most cherished.’

A friend is the one with whom we can share our happiness, our sorrows, and every little thing without hesitation. And if there’s anyone who truly knows us, beyond the surface, it’s a friend.

Thinking about all this, I remembered the days I spent with my friends at school. So many memories, so many experiences sweet moments, favorite people, and the times I shared with them all appeared before my eyes at once.

Meeting all my friends like this feels amazing. Everyone came, just as expected. Yet, one person’s presence is still missing. The one I’ve been waiting for, the one I long to see the most.

“Hey Honey! I’ve been screaming here, and you are not even responding. What’s so fascinating that you’re drawn into space? ”

Lost in my memories, I drifted into the past. Sneha’s words pulled me back to reality.

I looked back when I heard Sneha’s voice. Though she stood at a distance, her words reached me as clearly as ever.

Sneha has always been the cheerful one, the type of person who can light up a room with laughter. We’ve been inseparable since childhood, sharing everything no secrets, no walls. We know each other better than we know ourselves.

Seeing Sneha coming towards me, I gave her a smile in response. Meanwhile, she came and sat next to me.

“Everyone inside was asking about you. And here you are, sitting alone and staring at the sky. What are you doing here alone?” She asked, her tone as demanding as if I had just left in the middle of the class.

“Nothing. Just sitting under the sky for a while,” I answered, hoping she’d stop questioning.

But of course the next one came.

“What’s the count?”

“Count? What?” I asked, confused.

She smirked. “The stars. You looked so serious, I thought you were actually counting them.”

I smiled faintly and shook my head. “Even if I tried, I’d lose count. There are too many, just like the memories flooding my mind tonight.”

But inside, I knew the truth. No... I wasn’t counting them. I was just searching for one star that has been hiding for so long.

Sneha tilted her head, studying me. “Stop being so dramatic. What’s going on?”

“You know I don’t like parties.”

“Ha! I knew you’d say that. Fine, you hate parties. But this is our reunion. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long. You wanted to meet everyone even more than me. So what happened to you now? Why are you out here all alone?”

Sneha can talk forever without stopping, but this time she actually paused, waiting for my answer.

I gave her a small smile, as if nothing was wrong. “Calm down, Sneha, I’m fine. It’s just so noisy inside, I came out here for some fresh air. I was about to head back in, but then you found me first.”

When I said that, Sneha looked at me like a teacher catching a student fumbling through the wrong answer.

I can’t lie to her because she can easily catch my lies.

I forced a laugh, but she saw through it. “Don’t tell stories to me... The smile on your lips, why can’t I see it in your eyes?” Honey tell me, what’s really bothering you?”

She caught me?! Now I can’t escape.

Yes, she’s right. Even though I’n happy, something still felt missing. I thought I could hide it well without anyone noticing. But Sneha had defeated me.

Everyone can see our happiness. But only those who truly love us can see the tears hidden behind our laughter.

Sneha observed me for a sec and narrowed her eyes, half-teasing. “Fresh air? Or are you waiting for someone special?” She nudged me, her tone softening into a playful laugh. “Hm, let me guess... my friend is upset that her special friend isn’t here yet. Am I right?”

Sneha had been watching me since childhood. To someone who could read the sorrow behind my smile, it wasn’t surprising that she had guessed the reason behind it.

Yes, what Sneha said is true. I’m waiting for someone.

I’m waiting for a person who may never come, yet my heart still holds on, hoping to see him again after three years.

I’m waiting for a guy who has no idea that a girl is longing just to see him again.

But I try to hide those expectations. “There’s no such thing. Come on, let’s go inside.” As I get up and start walking, Sneha steps in front of me, arms stretched wide like a fence, blocking my way and forcing me to stop.

“I didn’t get an answer.” Her face and tone both turn serious. I know that this time she won’t let me slip away. “Tell the truth, Hasini. You haven’t forgotten him yet? We are not going anywhere until you tell me the truth.” Her words are firm, yet laced with concern.

I can’t bring myself to look into her eyes. I turn my face away before saying, “I don’t want to discuss that now. Please, let’s not talk about it.”

Then she brought her arms down to her waist, staring at me so intently it’s like she’s searching for my answer as if it’s written all over my face.

“Hey!” Suddenly Sneha’s voice filled with excitement. She looks past me, pointing at a distance, and my heart lurches when she says, “Guess who’s here! He’s the one you’ve been waiting for. He’s arrived, Honey. Come on, look over there...”

Even before Sneha finishes her words, I’m already scanning the direction she’s pointing. My chest tightens, and my heartbeat pounds in my ears. Could it really be him? After three long years, is he finally here?

“Sorry, dear. He wasn’t there. But I guess I got the answer to my question.” She said with a small smile curling at the corners of her lips.

She’s right indeed. Anyone in her place would think the same. The one who catches the sparkle in my eyes, the joy on my face, would immediately know just how eager I am to see him.

When we are alone, we remember our friends. When we are sad, we remember our loved ones. But when we miss someone even while we are happy with those around us, that person will never leave our heart.

What do you say? Do you agree with me? You may say no. But if you love someone and when they’re away from you, you can’t say no.

---------------------------------------

Sneha and I went inside to join others. The room is alive with laughter and excitement. Some are dancing, while others sit around tables, chatting. Single boys are trying their best to impress beautiful girls.

And then... I hear someone calling my name from behind.

“Hi Hasini, how are you? It’s been a long time,” Chitra said, holding a cool drink glass in her hand.

“Hai! Chitra, I’m so happy to see you.” I hugged her. Sneha joins in from behind, wrapping both of us in her arms. The two of them squeeze me hard from both sides, it feels less like a hug and more like I’m being crushed by their love.

The feeling of melting in their hugs is priceless. All three of us burst out laughing.

“Hey!! Smilely..... !!”

The three of us snapped to attention when we heard someone calling out and rushing toward us.

“Who is this Smiley?” Chitra has a confused look all over her face. She has no idea who’s being called by such a strange name, but Sneha and I know it is.

“Ah! Wondering why he hasn’t appeared yet and here comes the devil!” said Sneha, striking her head in annoyance.

“Who are you talking about? And who is this Smile again?” asked Chitra curiously.

Sneha pointed to the person approaching us and gave answers to all her questions.

He’s Kishore, our classmate at university and a good friend. He helped us in arranging today’s party. So we invited him.

He is a good person. But I don’t like the way he treats me differently. Not in a bad way though.

Let me explain, whatever he does, whatever he says, he makes sure that everyone around should know I am special to him.

As part of it, he even gave me a pet name, Smiley. At first, I didn’t even understand why he kept calling me that. One day I asked him, and guess what he said?

“Your name means smile. Also, your smile is so beautiful. Everyone calls you by your name. But you’re so special to me. That’s why I call you by a special name.”

His words shocked me. I warned him countless times to stop calling me Smiley, but he never did. Now, I think you’ve got an idea of his character.

“Hey beautiful Smile!” Kishore came to us with a glass of cool drink in his hand. “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you? Where did you disappear in the middle of the party? Where have you gone? I won’t bother you with questions like this. I just need your presence. Here this is for you,” he said in one go and offered me the cool drink in his hand.

“You asked all you wanted to. Then even saying that you won’t bother?” Sneha burst out laughing along with Chitra. I can’t help but laugh a little too.

Kishore looked at Sneha and was about to say something.

Before he could say anything to Sneha, I refused the cool drink he held out. “Thank you. But I don’t want to drink.”

“Okay. If you don’t like it, then I won’t bother you anymore.” Kishore quit his task.

“Hello! We’re here too. Take care of us as well.” Sneha tried to grab the glass from him.

Then Kishore put the glass out of her reach and said, “I brought it for Smiley. If you want it, go get it yourself.”

“She already said she doesn’t want it,” Sneha replied, making another attempt to snatch the glass from him.

Kishore kept the glass far away from her reach and declared, “Nope. I brought it for her, so I can’t give it to you.”

“What will you do with it without giving it to anyone else?”

“I’ll never let others have what belongs to her. Rather, I would have it myself. Don’t be a monkey snatching other people’s stuff.”

“Did you just call me a monkey?” Sneha’s eyes are beaming with anger.

“I did.” He shrugged his shoulders casually.

“You....” Sneha was ready to explode like a volcano when Kishore’s comment added fuel to it.

“Yeah, you, what can you do to me? Monkey!”

“See for yourself what I can do.” By saying Sneha snatched the cool drink glass from Chitra’s hand and splashed it all over Kishore’s white shirt.

Kishore looked down at his white shirt that’s drenched with cool drink turned all wet and painted red. Sneha vanished from there before Kishore lifted his head to look at the culprit.

“Oh... shit!” With a disappointed look, Kishore quit searching for Sneha. “I’ll catch you later.”

Seeing all this, Chitra seemed to be struggling to hold her laughter. Indeed looking at his face then, it was so hard for me to stop laughing.

Kishore looked at me, smiling at the chaos Sneha caused. “It’s okay. I got to see your smile because of that monkey, so I won’t punish her this time. I’m going to clean my shirt. Don’t disappear again. I’ll be back soon.” With that, he walked away, irritation clear on his face.

There is nothing he can do. Jerry always wins.As I thought of it, a smile formed on my lips.

Scenes like this are inevitable when those two are together. Every day at college, we witness their antics. There is not even a single day without their Tom and Jerry wars.

Sneha knows Kishore’s behavior embarrasses me, so she often diverts the topic. And for Kishore, Sneha is always in the middle, preventing him from getting too close to me. I guess that’s the main reason for their endless battles.

Yet, they never cross the line. We all enjoy watching their playful chaos.

“That serves him right. How dare he call me a monkey!” I didn’t even notice where Sneha had disappeared to, but as soon as Kishore left, she suddenly appeared from behind us.

Until then, we had been holding back our laughter, but the memory of Kishore’s defeated face sent us all into fits of giggles.

Sneha gladly narrated many incidents of how she made fun of Kishore. Chitra is laughing while clutching her stomach and begging her to stop. But she continued with a naughty and proud smile plastered on her face.

This girl never gets tired of chattering,I thought to myself and tried to escape from there.

Just as I was about to leave, I saw my cousin brother, Ganesh, approaching us. We all went to the same school, he is my senior.

“Hey, why should only girls have all the fun?” he interrupted their laughing session. “What’s so funny? ” He’s curious about what’s going on with this pair of laughing beauties.

No... not again.I shook my head from side to side, giving Ganesh a hint, silently hoping he’d change the topic.

Sneha and Chitra exchanged a glance and burst into laughter again. “You should’ve seen it for yourself, Gani,” Chitra said, making him want to know the entire story.

Sneha started narrating her victory over Kishore. With that, he just ignored my presence and joined in their laughter.

Everyone was having fun, but I could only manage a faint smile at the laughing trio in front of me.

After some time, the sound of a bike from outside caught our attention. Ganesh went out saying that someone should welcome latecomers. He became so excited as if he knew who that person was. His face is beaming with a huge smile. This smile is different from the laughter before. It’s filled with excitement and happiness, yet his eyes carried deep emotion. Like he is also waiting for someone, and that person finally arrived.

My heart skipped a beat. Could it be him? The one I’ve been waiting for?

I rushed to the window, hope bubbling inside me. But the street was empty. No one. Just the moon watching silently.

A pang of disappointment sank into me. I had been so sure I’d see him today. Yet with every passing second, that hope slipped further away.