Chapter 1
a/n: here’s a non autistic human story. This story was one of the stories I had on my old account, but now it’s a remake. enjoy
A long time ago in huston texas
It was raining outside, no severe weather, but just a normal thunderstorm, nothing harmful about that, no tornadoes. Inside a house, a young y/n who is ten years old is brushing his teeth, going to bed after watching some Naruto, since that’s mostly his favorite anime show. He gets done brushing his teeth.
Y/n: good, all white and clean teeth!
He walks out of the bathroom, heading to his bedroom, turning on Netflix to watch his favorite show, as he is tuning in to the Naruto vs Sasuke fight for the first time ever in his life, as he mimics the fights on both sides. As soon as it gets to the best part. He stops to hear a noise coming from downstairs.
Y/n: Huh, Mom and Dad should be asleep by now, or coming up to see tell me to go to bed
Y/n then goes downstairs to check what’s going on, since he wasn’t even tired right now, he then peeks over the corners just to see two dead bodies and someone with a gun. Y/n’s eyes widen to see who it was.
y/n: * no..please, don’t let it be.*
The gunman talks on the phone.
Gunman: Yes theses fuckers are dead. *listens to the phone* no, the fucking brat is at a sleepover i heard
Y/n sighs, not having any friends, only his parents, who made his day. He quickly hides, looking to see the gunman walking out of the house as he closes the door. Y/n then steps out of hiding slowly, then looks to his left, seeing his dead parents. stands up.
Y/n: Mom? Dad?
He sees bullet holes in the dead bodies. y/n then gets on his knees, begins shaking his mother, first moving his hands on his father. He’s tearing up, hoping he was still asleep. This is some sick nightmare.
Y/n: Dad..come on..please..be alright
nothing then goes to his mother’s body doing the same.
Y/n: Come on!, you too!..I can’t..i..i..can’t! Mom! dad!
y/n screams so loud that his tears were coming out of his eyes, upset losing the people he trusted, and begins crying, not wanting to let go of the truth. He remebers seeing a tattoo on the hand of the gunsman. He looks infront of him pissed.
Y/n: one day, I’ll find you and..I’ll make you fucking pay!
At age 17 in New york at night
Y/n hasn’t let go of his parents’ murder, but he had to do something since he learned the truth that his aunt and uncle didn’t want him, cause he was too much, which he calls crap. He chose the life of bounty hunting. He is sitting on the rooftop. looking at a piece of paper with his katanas on his back. Some cool tech he has.
Y/n: One day, Mom and Dad, I’ll make sure death isn’t for nothing.
He sighs, sees the target he’s after, and sees the total numbers captured dead or alive.
Y/n: Heh, 9 thousand dollars, heh..not bad..huh.drug dealers, pff easy money.
He then hears voices coming from the rooftop, looks down, and sees some henchmen talking about drugs; they had some stuff that was drugs.
Henchmen: Hey, the boss said careful with those.
Henchmen 2: It’s at the warehouse, right?
Y/n smirks, seeing these guys just gave him the answer he is looking for, took this chance to try out his new toy. He then tosses a tracking device onto their car as it takes off, so he takes off with them. Jumps from rooftop to rooftop, doing parkour and flips.
Y/n: This is just my night.
He stops to see the warehouse up ahead, looks over to see the car going into it, y/n then looks at the paper.
Y/n: Thank you, fucking losers, for taking me to your boss’s headquarters.
He was about to pull out his zip line, but then he saw a light coming from the alleyway. He looked down just to see a portal opening up. Four demons are coming out of it. Y/n tilted his head three short ones and a wolf-like creature.
Y/n: *huh, demons, tonight just go intresting. But i’m not interested in demons so*
He listens in on their conversation because he has to guess that the drug dealer’s boss isn’t here yet. Feeling bored, the first one in the middle spoke up first.
???: Okay fuckers today’s target is a drug lord so we’re here to fuck shit up.
The imp with an axe twirls, standing it up.
???: Finally, some action.
Moxxie: Millie, you’re always excited for action, even if the target is one guy.
Blitz: Moxxie, it wouldn’t hurt to be so excited now! lets fuck this guy up!
Y/n squinted his eyes at the demons, seeing that they were after his kill, his money. he wasn’t going to let them take his kill; this was his shot.
Y/n: Sorry, demons, but. I’m not letting you steal my gold.
Y/n then takes out his sniper rifle and aims it at the guard on the roof, firing a shot at the guard in the neck, killing him. Loona’s ears perk up hearing his shot, then he looks above him just to see y/n with his rifle. The imps look around, hearing the shot too.
Blitz: shit! someones firing at us!
Loona: Uh, blitzo someones might have saw us.
Blitzo blinks, confused, then looks up to see y/n taking out guards that aren’t aware of him. They look at the warehouse y/n sees the boss of the drug dealer driving by.
Y/n: There, you are fucker.
Looks at the demons, seeing they knowlege with a smirk, Loona’s eyes widen seeing him looking at them, as blitzo places his hands on his hip.
Y/n: Sorry, demons but, that fuckers mine.
Blitzo looks at the others, Millie and Moxxie, then gets it as Loona just didn’t give a shit, just typed on her phone, but looks at the human.
Millie: Sir, i think he’s after our target.
Blitzo widens his eyes, then glares at the human, pointing, shaking his fist at y/n. He didn’t budge one bit.
Blitz: Hey! asshole! That target is ours!
Y/n looks at the imp in charge, not caring, as Loona sees a ladder and climbs to the top to get her attack. Y/n then takes out a grabbling hook
Y/n: Meh, as much as I would love to talk, but I’ve got no interest in fighting demons?
He then took off into the air before Loona was able to grab him. Blitzo widened his eyes, seeing that Loona just missed that.
Loona: fuck, he’s good
Blitzo gritted his teeth since the target is across the street, and he sees y/n twisting the neck of one of the rooftop guards, killing him. The Imps and Loona were impressed by his stealth, but Blitzo wasn’t going to let y/n steal their kill.
Blitz: That’s our fucking kill!
Millie looks at Blitzo, placing her hand on her hip, giving the boss a soft smile.
Millie: Hey, at least he said he’s not interested in fighting demons.
Blitz: I don’t give a fuck if he’s interested in fighting vampires; we were hired to take them out.
Blitzo then runs out of the streets to catch up to the human, to kill the asshole before y/n does. Millie and Moxxie both sigh. Loona rolls her eyes. but she has to admit y/n’s good when it comes to stealth.
Moxxie: There he goes.
Loona: Come on! Let’s get to him before he gets his ass killed.
The imps and Loona leave to go after the target, mostly, and make sure blitzo isn’t going to get himself killed.
y/n makes his way inside after killing the last rooftop guard. y/n then kneels on the catwalk, looking at the henchmen and the boss, y/n’s only target. The boss is talking to his goons. Y/n smirks to this.
Y/n: Heh, sucks for him that the two dumbasses led me here.
Y/n was waiting for the right moment, placing the handle of his katana. y/n yawns, lying on his hip, smacking his mouth.
Y/n: Ugh, how long is he going to take?
Y/n sees the boss’s office. Just then, he felt a gun touching his face, he looked to his left, seeing blitzo pointing his flint at him.
Y/n: ugh, you again?
Blitz: yes me again fucker! You have no right to take our score!
Y/n raises an eyebrow, giving him a smug look.
Y/n: your score?
Blitz: Yes! Our clients hired us to take this asshole out, I’m not letting anyone like you take it.
Y/n is guessing that someone in hell is hiring them to take these guys out, y/n then sees the boss is heading to his office, then back at Blitzo.
Y/n: Okay, how much is he paying you?
Blitz: four hundred. grand!
Y/n smirks, taking out the bounty paper from his pocket, gives it to blitzo for him to read. Blitzo sighs, takes it, and begins reading. his eyes landed on the money making him looks like the client was paying less or the client is.
Blitz: 9 thousand!
Y/n: Yep. Nine thousand dollars to take this asshole out.
Blitzo groans and pouts.
Blitz: Fuck..can’t beat that shit, hold on, no ones hiring you.
Y/n: No, I’m a bounty hunter, not a demon hunter.
That’s a good thing for Blitzo, seeing he’s not, but sees y/n’s not stupid. y/n then looks up to see a guard behind blitzo pointing his gun at him.
Y/n: So, you want to deal with me or that asshole?
Blitzo confuses what he’s looking at, seeing the guard glaring at both of them, then looks behind y/n to see another person.
Blitz: Are you going to deal with that guy, too?
Y/n looks behind them, seeing the guys about to fire, but then y/n takes out a knife from his shoes.
y/n: Oh, shit, must be the boyfriend.
Henchmen: Who the fuck are you guys?
Y/n tilted his head. He and blitzo both glance at each other, then back at the guy.
Y/n: I got a better question.
Blitzo glances at y/n, not sure what he is planning on doing, both henchmen look at each other, then back at y/n.
Y/n: Are you gay?
Blitzo then looks at the henchmen, they take back at this, then back at y/n hearing this from a human they are both facing death.
henchmen: What! no! fuck! oh..
Blitz: Hey, man, nothing to be ashamed of.
Henchmen: No!
Y/n then takes out the knife from his shoe at the henchmen that is behind blitzo, stabbing the henchmen in the chest. the henchmen is screaming in pain.
Henchman: ahhh! fuck!
Blitzo then shoots the guy behind y/n, killing him. Blitzo glances back at the dead henchmen as some of the henchmen look up, seeing they have intruders.
Blitz: Heh, not bad, human, got skills to kill.
Y/n: Thanks, you too.
Moxxie and Millie even Loona burst through the window behind the imp, seeing dead bodies sees y/n just helped them.
Henchmen: We’ve got intruders take them out!
y/n looks at Blitzo with a smirk as they are ready to fight.
Y/n: want to make a side bet?
The demons look over to y/n, seeing him smirking at them. Moxxie raises an eyebrow. Millie grins, she was in. Loona is giving y/n a curious look.
Millie: I’m down!
Moxxie: Uh, making bets with a human.
Blitzo is curious since the boss is still in there, they look to see the drug dealers are struggling to open the crates to get the weapons, Blitzo may not trust humans, but since this human is also after the same guy.
Blitz: Okay! What’s the bet
Y/n: If I kill the boss of these dumbasses first, You four can’t accept clients that I kill to go after me.
Blitzo raises an eyebrow to this, hearing this as Moxxie wasn’t expecting that, and Millie shrugs, not that hard.
Blitz: Heh, that can be arranged. What’s your name?
Y/n: Normally, I wouldn’t, but y/n l/n.
Blitz: Okay! You’re off the clients’ shit list, no matter how pissy they get.
y/n: cool.
Blitzo then stops him before he can take out the henchmen.
Blitz: Hey! What do we get if we win?
Y/n then thought of something, as the demons are expecting something from him, y/n gives them a soft smile. One that got Loona’s tail to wag.
Y/n: I’ll have to join your business.
Moxxie: That’s it, no sex?
Y/n leans into the imp’s eyes after he said that, shaking his head, not even having the words to say about that. Millie places her hands on her hips, looking at Moxxie. Blitzo blinks at Moxxie as he said that. Loona’s ears lowered.
Y/n: why I fucking say sex?
Moxxie: Uh, cause you’re human?
Y/n looks at the rest of the four demons, giving them a confused look as he sees some henchemen aiming the guns at them.
Y/n: ugh, do demons always assume that all humans think is fucking?
Blitzo averted his eyes at that question, even Loona is ashamed to admit it, Millie wants to find the right words.
Blitz: Heh, no..just this dumbass.
He glares at Moxxie since he blurted it out, y/n sighs, sitting on the rails.
Y/n: Man, talk about racist demons.
Y/n does a kick flip off the railing, taking his katana out, slicing a henchman’s head in half, getting it sliding off, showing the half of his brain and tongue. then punches the chest, making the heart come out. Y/n is kneeling, then looks up. Some of the henchmen see that the guy is dead. Blitzo was impressed.
Blitz: oh, shit.
Millie: Now that is fancy killing.
Loona’s tail is wagging. y/n gives them a smug look on their faces. The henchmen started fighting him. y/n dashes to them, avoiding bullets.
Y/n: Who’s next?
Y/n jumps up, kicks one henchman in the face, cutting him in half, then jumps into the air, throwing ninja stars at each henchman. Millie smugs look
Millie: Can’t let the human have all of the fun.
Moxxie: But he said we were racist demons.
Blitzo looks at moxxie pointing a finger at him, as Millie jumps up and slices the arms off a henchman.
Blitz: He only said that about you, Moxxie, yeesh, didn’t need to be fucking racist.
Moxxie gives blitzo a glare as Loona jumps down behind y/n, slicing the ones that were about to kill him.
Moxxie: Blitz, you talk shit about humans all the fucking time!
Blitzo looks at Moxxie as he shoots at one of the guys.
Blitz: Only in my sleep I talk love about humans.
Moxxie shivers the two imps joined the fight.
y/n is fighting alongside Loona, chopping their heads off, killing them. He sees Loona about to kill some more. y/n goes over taking her kill. Loona stops seeing y/n looking at the henchmen. then shoots the one getting up.
Loona: show off.
Y/n then goes to the ones by Millie, killing them, spinning around, making a blood tornado. Millie frowns, looks at y/n.
Millie: Hey, asshole, those were mind!
Y/n looks at some some drugs on the ground. He picks it up about to put it against his nose, until Loona bonks him on the head.
Y/n: Ow! *rubbing the back of his head* the fuck was that for?
Loona: you fucking serious, you’re about to do drugs from these, these dumbasses.
Y/n: But their not going to need it?
Millie: Still, you shouldn’t fucking use drugs, plus that’s heroine, not the best kind of drugs.
Y/n shakes his head, looks over to Blitzo, seeing some henchmen trying to kill him. Y/n jumps over fighting more of them. Loona looks at Millie she did the same thing looks at y/n as he’s doing more of the fighting.
Blitz: Nice! of you to join the party!
Y/n: Thanks! I was getting lectured anyway
Blitzo smirks back at y/n.
Blitz: I know how that feels.
Loona and Millie both sigh, seeing y/n doing a good job, but he’s not taking care of himself, y/n notices a woman charging at blitzo with a knife. He kicks her in the face, causing her to fly back. to crate of boxes. with a bloody nose.
Henchwoman: No..please!
Y/n gasps, covering his mouth, covering his mouth.
Y/n: oh, god, i’m..sorry.
Blitzo raises an eyebrow at y/n not sure what he is thinking as he pulls out his pistol aiming it at the woman.
Y/n: Is it sexist to hit you, or is it more sexist not to hit you?
Blitzo then gets what y/n is pulling here. comes over looks at y/n.
Blitz: Seriously, it’s more sexist if you don’t shoot them.
Y/n nods, shoots her in the face. y/n then looks at the boss, it was time to get paid but then sees a gun moving.
Y/n: Heh.
Y/n approaches the gun, picks it up, it has a mouth and eyes, looks at y/n, and spits into his face, y/n. snaps out of it. Loona notices this.
Loona: ugh, did you get spit on by a gun.
Y/n: yep.
Just then, y/n hears a voice that wasn’t Loona’s or Millie’s.
Sweezy: ugh..fucking finally!
Y/n then looks down and widens his eyes, sees the gun is talking to him, and looks around, seeing the demons are still fighting. then looks down. at the gun.
Y/n: Whoa, a talking gun.
Sweezy: Yes! I’m a talking gun, dipshit. I’ll explain later, but right now we’ve got to get out of here.
y/n: not after I take out this drug dealer.
Sweezy glances around seeing fighting.
Sweezy: Hey, can I join in on the fun, use my time bubble?
y/n shrugs, points at some henchmen who are charging at him, and shoots a time bubble. Making the henchmen slow down drew the demons’ attention. y/n widens his eyes.
Y/n: Oh..shit, now this is cool.
Blitzo looks at y/n.
Blitz: the fuck did you do?
Y/n: I didn’t this gun did.
Moxxie sees the talking gun as Loona gets close to it seeing it now in y/n’s hands.
Loona: The gun did that.
Y/n shrugs, then points it at the henchmen, killing them all. The fight was over then. Y/n sees the boss coming out of the office.
Drug dealer: The fuck is going on out here! i’m tryin to watch porn.
Sweezy: ooh..i’m sorry asshole, but I’ve been stuck in a box for a fucking long time.
The demons are looking at y/n’s new gun as if it were talking. They glance up at y/n, seeing he’s not being bothered by it.
Y/n: Time for so long.
Y/n takes a shot, making the crystals explode, killing the drug dealer, Blitzo approached y/n impressed by his moods, Loona’s tail wags she found him intresting.
Blitz: Now that was some bad ass moment.
Sweezy: thanks, mann
Blitzo blinks seeing the gun is talking, y/n isn’t dreaming right now.
Blitz: um..the guns talking that’s. new.
Y/n snaps out of it, looks over to Blitzo, Loona goes to y/n, hearing the gun talking, they all were, guessing that spit helps them understand that.
Y/n: Uh, what are you?
Sweezy: I already fucking told you, dipshit, get me the fuck out of here so I can explain.
Y/n looks to see the demons might not be interested in this, he turns around leaves after taking the picture of the body of the drug dealer. But then Loona gets in his way, making him bump into her breasts.
Y/n: Uh, can I help you?
Loona: Hang on, I’m curious about this talking gun.
Y/n looks at the other demons.
Moxxie: if you don’t mind.
Loona: *mostly..I want to get to know the human.*
y/n seeing the demons as for blitzo.
Y/n: Fine, but lets get out of here, cause I’m going to get paid.
Blitz: Fine by me, we just no the place where the gun can tell her story..Loonie.
Y/n snickers, hearing this, Loona growls, taking out the grimore, opening up a portal.
Y/n: Heh.
Loona: Shut up, it’s not that funny.
Y/n: But it’s cute.
Loona blushes hearing this, her tail wagging after she makes a portal to hell, the demons enter, and y/n follow them since he did say the gun is going to explain everything and why she was in the warehouse.
A/n: next time on bounty hunter in hell, yes, I’m starting with Swezzy since she’s my favorite talking gun.
