Belladonna Ophelie
I used to think our life was one grand adventure. When I was younger, every new city was a secret waiting to be discovered, and every midnight departure was just a thrilling opening act to a new story. I saw the world through my mother's eyes, and back then, her eyes were full of light.
But as the years passed, the excitement began to fray at the edges, replaced by a gnawing, quiet uncertainty. The "adventures" grew shorter; the bags were packed with more urgency.
I started questioning the gaps in her stories-why we left under the cover of rain, where exactly we were going, and what we were truly leaving behind. I grew tired of being a visitor in my own life. I yearned for stability, for a place that didn't feel like a temporary stop. I craved roots I could sink into, a rhythm that didn't vanish after a few months, and a sense of home that felt permanent instead of something I had to carry in worn out bags.
I didn't realize that the roots I wanted were a luxury we couldn't afford. I didn't know that for us, permanence was a death sentence.
I was waiting for a home, but all I was really doing was waiting for the inevitable day the adventure would turn into a hunt.
"M-Mama, aalis na naman po ba tayo?" I clung to the side of the door frame, the wood cool against my palms. But my mother didn't look up. She just kept frantically cramming our clothes into a beat-up duffel bag.
"May problema po-"
"Bella!" Sigaw ni Mama. Her voice stopped me cold. I didn't know if it was anger I heard, or fear, or maybe both tangled together.
"Ipapaliwanag ko sa'yo lahat kapag nakaalis na tayo sa lugar na 'to, kaya huwag ka munang makulit ngayon! Halika't isuot mo na itong jacket mo!"
"Pero, Mama! Kakalipat lang natin dito! Hindi pa nga tayo nag iisang buwan, aalis na naman tayo? Ma, ayoko na pong-"
"Sinabing huwag munang-"
Mama stopped mid-sentence, her words died in her throat when the neighborhood dogs began barking outside. She stared at the front door, then, with shaking hands, slipped a thick folder into another worn-out bag. May kung ano siyang sinabi na hindi ko masyadong na intindihan.
Mas lalong bumilis ang mga kilos niya kaya minabuti ko na lang na isuot ang jacket na kanina pa nakalatag sa kama.
For as long as I could remember, Mama and I have always been on the move. Palipat-lipat kami ng bahay at ng mga lugar na tinitirhan ngunit hindi rin naman kami nag tatagal.
Pakiramdam ko'y kaya ko pang makumbinsi si Mama na huwag na muna kaming umalis ngayon lalo na't lumalalim na ang gabi. Pero nawawalan na ako ng ganang makipagtalo pa sa kanya kahit sobrang labag sa kalooban ko ang pag alis.
Alam ko naman na kahit anong sabihin ko'y siya pa rin ang masusunod sa huli. Napapaisip na lang ako minsan kung kailan kami titigil sa ganito.
Napatalon ako sa gulat sa sunod-sunod na mabibigat na katok sa pintuan. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni mama bago niya ako sinenyasan na huwag gumawa ng ingay sabay turo sa gilid ng tukador. Tumango ako at dahan-dahang humakbang patungo r'on ngunit natigilan ako nang marinig kung sino ang nasa labas.
"Aling Selene! Ate Bella! Buksan niyo po ang pinto!"
There was urgency in his voice that made my mother rush to the door to let him in. The poor boy was panting as if he had just run a ten-kilometer marathon to reach the house that was about to be vacated in the middle of the night.
"Dante!" Si Mama. "Dis oras na ng gabi at nasa labas ka pa rin! Hindi ka pa ba nakakauwi sa inyo simula noong nag kita tayo sa palengke kaninang alas tres ng hapon?"
May bahid ng takot at determinasyon ang mukha ng bata habang pilit na hinahabol ang hininga. "K-kailangan niyo na pong umalis, Aling Selene! Ngayon na po!"
"Oo, alam ko! Kaya umuwi ka na sa inyo nang-"
"Ngayon na po!" Giit niya. "Nasa abandonadong pabrika kaming dalawa ni Danny kanina, nag lalaro ng taguan pero iniwan niya ako ro'n. Aalis na sana ako nang may narinig akong mga nag uusap!"
"Dante, anong-"
"Aling Selene, may mga armadong lalaking nag hahanap sa inyo ngayon! Sa palagay ko'y hindi pa nila alam kung saang bahay kayo nakatira kaya mabuti pang umalis na kayo ngayon din!"
I turned off the lights as soon as he said that. The dogs started going crazy again outside, and I also heard tires crunching on the gravel, a sound that made the air feel heavier.
Nilingon ko si Mama at alam kong naririnig niya rin iyon.
"Sa likod ng kusina tayo dadaan." Seryoso niyang sabi at dali-daling dinampot ang mga bag galing sa kuwarto. Binigay niya ang backpack sa akin.
"Dante, sumama ka sa'min pag labas. Pagkatapos ay mag tago ka kung saan, umakyat ka ng puno o ano basta huwag ka munang uuwi sa inyo hangga't hindi umaalis sa lugar na 'to ang mga lalaking nakita mo sa pabrika. Naiintindihan mo ba?"
Um-oo lang ang bata at nauna nang tumungo sa kusina. Sinuot ko ang backpack saka binuksan ang pinto at agad na bumungad sa akin ang malamig ng simoy ng hangin sa labas.
I was about to take a step outside when we heard another round of knocking on the front door. Bumaling ako kay Mama at kahit madilim ang paligid ay kitang-kita ko pa rin ang pagkawala ng kulay sa kanyang mukha.
She silently urged me to start walking, pointing a finger towards the bamboo forest in the distance.
"Selene..." A baritone voice called out to my mother. I could tell she recognized who it was. "I know you're in there." It sounded calm, almost kind-but I could tell that its tenderness was masking something venomous underneath.
"He found us," Mama said.
I still didn't understand what was going on, but in that moment, it became clear to me that our lives were in danger.
As soon as Dante bolted, I wasted no more time. I took my mother's trembling hand and led her towards the forest behind the house.
We had barely melted into the darkness when a deafening bang shattered the silence.
"Selene!" The man bellowed, the venom he'd masked now spilling free.
"Run, Bella!" Mama's voice wavered between a whisper and a shout, urgency cutting through the night.
With her hand still in mine, I did as she said and ran. The air was thick with fear, the trees whispering to each other in the wind as we pushed through.
Nabitawan ko ang kamay ni Mama at sa taranta kong pag lingon sa kanya'y na tisod ako sa isang malaking ugat at nadapa.
"Tayo!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet.
She cupped my face in her hands and held me still. Her honey-colored eyes glistened in the moonlight with unshed tears, burning into mine with a mixture of fear, love, and something that I had come to realize later on was regret.
"Listen to me, 'wag na 'wag kang lilingon! 'Wag na 'wag kang hihinto sa pag takbo hangga't hindi ka nakakarating sa kalsada!"
"B-bakit-"
"Oh, I was stupid to think I could keep you safe all by myself!" She cursed herself. "Ano mang mangyayari ngayon, palagi mong tatandaan na mahal na mahal kita, anak. You are the most precious thing in the world to me, and nothing and no one will ever compare!"
Anger surged through me in an instant. Hindi ko siya naiintindihan!
"Keep me safe from what, Ma? Ano po ba kasi ang nangyayari? Kilala mo ba ang lalaking 'yon?"
Hindi niya ako sinagot kaya mas lalo akong nagalit. Tinalikuran ko siya at nauna nang tumakbo. She called out to me, but I didn't stop and just kept running, even though the roots of the tree were more challenging to dodge in the darkness.
I was determined to reach the road.
At n'ong nakita ko na ang nag iisang poste sa kalsadang iyon ay saka lang ako bumaling sa aking likuran.
"Mama?" Panic and fear replaced the anger I was feeling when I couldn't see my mother anywhere. "Mama!"
A loud bang came from the forest. And I ran back, tears stinging my eyes, my mind racing with every terrifying possibility.
Bobo! Tanga!
Ba't ba kasi hindi ko sinuguradong nakasunod sa'kin si Mama?! Paano na lang ako kung-hindi! Hindi ako puwedeng mag isip ng gano'n!
Paulit-ulit kong minumura ang sarili sa mga naiisip. Ngunit para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang makita si Mama na nakasandal sa isang malaking bato, malapit lamang sa kung saan ako nadapa.
My mother's breathing was ragged as she kept a hand on her thigh. I immediately went to her and had a moment of weakness when I realized she was bleeding.
"B-ba't ka pa bumalik?!" She angrily said through gritted teeth. "Hindi ba't sinabi ko sa'yo na 'wag na 'wag kang lilingon?! Leave!"
I shook my head and hugged her as tightly as I could, but she kept trying to push me away. My heart broke into a thousand pieces, and I wasn't sure if I could ever make it whole again.
"Anak, parang awa mo na! Huwag nang matigas ang ulo! Please! Umalis ka na!"
"Why are you trying to make me leave you?!" My voice rose. "Hindi kita iiwan! Hindi ko... h-hindi ko po kaya, Mama, please. Tumayo ka na po, tutulungan kita, aalalayan kita-" I begged and pleaded but was cut off when a cold voice spoke up from behind us.
"Oh? What do we have here?" A man emerged from the shadows, his figure moving toward a patch of moonlight. I looked away instinctively, a chill crawling up my spine.
My mother placed her arm in front of me, silent and protective. The man laughed as if mocking her gesture.
"I didn't know you had a daughter, Selene. Nakabuo pala talaga kayo?"
"You stay away from her, Damien!" She hissed. "Don't you dare lay a finger on her!"
"Or what?" he purred, "if I shoot her now?" The sound of a gun being cocked filled the night. "What can you possibly do? Hm?"
"Damien!"
My heart hammered painfully against my chest. The mere thought of death made the world tilt beneath me. No-I can't lose focus. I have to think. I have to find a way to get Mama and me out of here alive.
Pero paano? How do I drag my mother away without him pulling the trigger first? I couldn't possibly outrun a bullet!
"Hey, little girl," The man, Damien, called out. "Hey, I want to have a good look at you. What's your name? Come on, look at me."
My eyes met Mama's, and it was clear that she was telling me not to engage with him.
"Hey, brat!" He growled. "Don't make me ask you twice!"
"Leave my daughter out of this, Dam-AH!"
"Mama!" I screamed as she collapsed against the rock, blood seeping from the fresh gunshot wound on her shoulder.
"Whoops. Sorry about that, Selene-my hand slipped." He clicked the gun once more. "If the little brat won't give me her name, I guess I'll just have to bury her in an unmarked grave."
"S-screw you! Screw you, you sick son of a bitch!"
"You don't get to call me names," he said, half a laugh, half a snarl. "You've been nothing but trouble since the day you turned up. Even more so when you disappeared. If only you'd learned your place, if only you'd thought twice, then you and that kid wouldn't be paying for your choices."
My mother somehow pulled herself up, clinging to life after hearing what he said. But the pain in her thigh overwhelmed her and she collapsed to her knees. And yet, she slowly rose again. Breathing ragged, body covered in blood. Seeing her so determined to protect me from this man filled me with unknown guilt.
"I-If I...if I go with you...Do you promise...to leave her alone?"
"Hmm, I haven't really considered that. You know I'm not above killing the youngsters, Selene. And I-fuck!"
Mama had stood up and lunged at him, trying to grab hold of the gun. Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang sumigaw ng sumigaw.
Hindi ako nakakapag isip ng maayos dahil sa nangyayari. Ni hindi ko nga namalayan na may nakalapit na palang lalaki at hahawakan na sana ako. If Mama hadn't screamed at me, I wouldn't have been able to move away in time.
"Anak!" My mother's blood-curling scream ripped through the forest. "Takbo!"
And so I did.
I ran.
And I ran.
Until I heard another gunshot ripping through the night. A body hit the ground somewhere behind me, but I didn't pause to see who it was. Because I already knew...
I ran as fast as I could, tears blurring my vision, zigzagging my way in an effort to lose whoever was chasing me, the leaves whistling past like a thousand ghostly fingers. Ni hindi ko na alam kung saang direksyon ako patungo.
My chest burned, my legs ached, but I couldn't stop-not when every step could mean the difference between life and death.
Branches scraped my arms and legs, and the dark forest seemed to close in around me. Each heartbeat screamed in my ears, every shadow a potential threat.
All I could think of was getting myself out of this nightmare, even if it meant... leaving my mother behind.
Hope crept in at the sight of the lonely streetlamp. I turned to see if anyone trailed me, but the darkness was empty. When I looked forward once more, I was met with a harsh, blinding light.
𓂃˚‧ 𓆸
