Chapter 1 The first life
Eira had stopped expecting anything from the world.Seventeen, tired, bored, cruel in ways she didn’t botherexplaining, she moved through the streets like a shadow. People were loud,predictable, messy. She was done with them.That evening, the scream cut through the quiet like a knife.She froze. Down a narrow alley, a boy had fallen. Bloodspread slowly, impossibly red. His eyes were wide. Panicked.And then—everything shifted.Her body betrayed her.“What…? Where am I? How is this possible?”Eira’s voice caught in someone else’s throat. She lookeddown. Small hands, scraped knuckles, unfamiliar clothes. Not hers.“I’m… a boy?!”The blood… the warm metallic smell… the world spinning…This was no dream.“No… no… this can’t be real… I’m me—Eira! I’m Eira!”But the body under her control thrashed, trembling. Theboy’s heartbeat raced, his chest rising and falling with panic.Eira’s mind reeled. Every instinct, every sensation belongedto him. And yet… she was aware. Observing. Feeling both herself and him,impossibly intertwined.She stumbled through the alley, touching the rough walls forbalance, staring at hands that weren’t hers.Fingers dirtied, scraped. Life slipping through them.Shock froze her.Cold spread through her chest.Her own self—Eira—felt distant, unreal.“I… I can’t… this isn’t… I’m not… I’m…”The world continued around her. People passed, oblivious.Indifferent. Life went on.And she realized, in a way that made her stomach twist:She wasn’t herself anymore.She had stepped into a life ending.She was trapped in the final, fatal heartbeat of someoneelse.Time stretched, meaningless.She smelled the alley, felt the blood, heard the distantfootsteps and muted cries.The boy’s life—the raw, terrifying immediacy of it—was hersnow.And somewhere, beneath the shock, beneath the disbelief, asharp, cruel thought whispered in her mind:“So this is what it feels like… to really liveThe First LifeEira stumbled forward, every step foreign in this borrowedbody.The boy’s legs gave way beneath her. Pain shot through herchest—not hers, but hers to feel. The world tilted, blurred, and she realized:this was real. He was dying.Panic clawed at her. She wanted to scream, to run, to wakeup—but the voice that would have cried out was hers no longer. It belonged tohim.A sharp metallic scent filled her nose. Blood. Everywhere.Sticky, warm, impossibly alive.“I don’t… I can’t… help… anyone…”The boy’s thoughts tangled with hers. Confused, chaotic,panicked. He remembered home, a mother’s hand he wished he could hold, a sisterhe would never see again. Regret burned in his chest, heavy and raw.And Eira felt it all.She tried to move, to stand, to fix it. But the bodybetrayed her. Limbs unsteady. Muscles unfamiliar. The life slipping through hisveins faster than she could grasp.The fear wasn’t just his—it became hers.Fear of leaving. Fear of nothingness. Fear that no one wouldremember you. Fear that life itself was unfair…And it was.Eira saw it now: the world didn’t pause for death. It didn’teven slow. The man walking past didn’t look back. The child playing on thestreet didn’t notice. Life went on, indifferent.And the boy—this boy she’d never met—was fading.She could see it in his eyes. The panic, the shock, theregret… and then acceptance, tiny and reluctant.I shouldn’t have yelled at her. I shouldn’t have ignoredhim. I shouldn’t…Fragments of his life, his mistakes, his moments ofweakness, flashed through her mind. And she understood, in a way she hadn’tbefore: people die carrying everything they never fixed.And some of it—the weight, the regret, the fear—never leavesanyone alive.The final heartbeat came suddenly.A sharp, staggering thump against her chest.The body went still.Eyes staring at nothing.Eira gasped—not with her own lungs, but through his.She blinked. And then… she was gone.Back in her own room.Back in her own body.Seventeen again.Her hands, her chest, her life… hers.But something had changed.The boy’s fear, his panic, his regret—they weren’t gone.They lingered. A shadow in her chest, impossible to shake.And Eira, cruel, detached, bored… felt the first pang ofsomething unfamiliar:A faint, sharp ache for someone else’s life.She sat on the floor, staring at the ceiling.Outside, people laughed. Fought. Walked by.Oblivious. Indifferent. The world had gone on, exactly as italways had.And Eira understood, with a weight she hadn’t known existed:Life ends without warning.And no one stops to notice.She exhaled slowly.Her own breath. Her own body.But the lesson remained.And she knew, quietly, cruelly…This was only the beginning.
