Chapter 1: The unspoken fear
The gym smelled like iron and sweat—clean, sharp, unforgiving. Lena liked it that way. Pain made sense here. You lifted, you strained, you burned. Cause and effect. No surprises.
She was on the treadmill, pace steady, breath controlled, eyes fixed straight ahead. Her mind, however, was everywhere else. It always was.
Memories crept in the way they always did—uninvited, persistent. Fragments of voices, moments she refused to name. She turned the speed up, as if she could outrun them.
“Morning, Lena.”
She didn’t turn her head.
The voice belonged to him again. He had been coming to this gym for years, just like her. Always too friendly. Always trying. A nod. A comment about her form. A question that didn’t need answering.
She had mastered the art of not hearing him.
“Lena,” he tried again, closer this time. “I’ve been meaning to ask—”
Nothing.
can you please, stop ignoring me, I just want us to be friends.
Nothing.
I like you and want us to be something more than friends.
nothing.
how about a lunch date, so we can get to know each other. he asked again but nothing.
Lena could see his hurt face but it wasn't her business, he should have learnt his lesson - that she doesn't like him and doesn't want to speak with anyone.
people in the gym started mocking him but his face remain neutral, no sign of hurt but she could see it in his eyes.
their eyes met and he gave her a small smile while she look away with the thought of his smile in her head but she shook it off and resume exercise.
Her face remained calm, unreadable, eyes forward. Inside, irritation flared. Not because of him exactly, but because he reminded her how people felt entitled to her attention. To her time. To her silence.
Eventually, he gave up. They always did. She finished her run, wiped down the machine, and left without looking back.
Outside, the morning air was cooler. She walked home, gym bag slung over her shoulder, body tired but mind still restless. Home was a small place—quiet, predictable. Or at least, it usually was.
The car in the driveway stopped her cold.
Her mother’s.
why was she here?
we spoke just last night and now she is here because she ended the call on her.
her mom was funny, she will surely get things done no matter what.
I'm sure it's about getting married.
Lena doesn't know why she is hellbent on getting her married.
Even her elder brother is not married yet, so why is she forcing her.
Lena hesitated before going inside, fingers tightening around the strap of her bag. She hadn’t been told her mother was coming. That alone was enough to make her chest feel tight.
Inside, the house smelled like tea and toast. Familiar. Too familiar.
“You’re back,” her mother said from the kitchen, voice light, careful.
Lena nodded and washed her hands without a word. They sat across from each other at the small table, plates between them. Toast. Eggs. Silence.
why do I feel like you don't want me here. her mother asked with suspicious eyes.
you are overthinking mom, you are welcome in my home at any given time, it's just that I find you presence all of a sudden because we talked last night. she counter back.
That is because someone purposely end my call while I was saying something important. Lena mother replied.
so you woke up early and drove here in a haste because of that important stuff, are you serious mom. what if something happened to you. Lena said in a mad voice.
Relax dear, I had Phillips drop me here, he went back but he will be back to take me back, she replied and Lena nod.
The air felt heavy, like something was pressing down on it.
Her mother stirred her tea again and again, though the sugar had long since dissolved. Lena noticed everything—how her mother avoided her eyes, how her smile didn’t quite settle.
“Eat,” her mother said. “You’re too thin.”
I like it that way, she said.
but I don't want you that way, I love it when you gain a little bit of weight around your hips, men find it attractive. she said with a smile.
that is their problem mom.
Lena took a bite, chewing slowly. Waiting.
Finally, her mother exhaled, as if she had been holding her breath the entire morning.
“There’s something we need to talk about.”
Lena didn’t respond. She already knew.
Her mother folded her hands together, voice lowering, steadying itself.
“You’re getting married.”
The words landed like a blow.
Lena froze. The room seemed to shrink, the walls pressing in. For a moment, she thought she hadn’t heard correctly. But her mother’s face told her everything.
Married.
Not asked. Not considered. Decided.
Her fingers curled into her palm under the table. Her expression didn’t change.
Inside her, something old stirred—anger, fear, resignation—all rising at once.
The war had begun.
flashback. ( 20 years ago)
Lena tremble as she listens to her mother's cry - she was trying not to make any noise that would wake her children.
Lena being the most sensitive one heard her cry, her father was not stopping anytime soon.
he would unleash all the anger he has built up from work and pour them on my mom.
Lena was also scared for herself because she had bedwet and her father hate her for that. he would beat her mercilessly.
she even heard how her mother had beg him to be gentle so as not to wake us up.
Do you think I care if they noticed, they are nothing but a bunch of losers you gave to me as children. I regret marrying you Elizabeth. you made my life a living hell. Lena father said as he resume beating her.
Blood!!!
I heard my mom said a bit louder and Lena sprang up not knowing what to do.
should she go to the neighbors???
but it was so late.
would they even answer her ??
Lena was sure they were laughing at her mom
she could hear chuckles from from the next window
she realizes something wet and love down
she pee on herself out of fear
Now she is in danger just like her mom.
she heard her mom cry as she entered the room
she pretended to be asleep while her mother keeps nursing her wound and silently prayed to God for mercy and deliverance.
Lena father barge into the room and she tremble more.
it felt like her heart is out of her chest and is inside her ear
she could hear how fast it beat.
I smell urine, has she pee on herself.
Lena father yell and mother denied which earned her a loud slap on her face and Lena froze- she was scared for herself and for her mom.
pain
she felt pain and Rush up trying to save herself.
it was a mistake dad, I won't do it again. Lena begged but got no response and more pain
her mom tried to save her but she was pushed to the wall.
she Fell down.
you are the most ugly girl I have ever come across.
nothing good comes ever since you mother gave birth to you.
I even doubt if you were my child because you look nothing like me.
you look like an old lady
I sometimes wish I had you aborted
And that's what I have been regretting since.
he landed a huge slap on her face - Lena hit the floor.
stand there
he position Lena at the door entrance
that is where you are going to stay till the next day.
if I come out and did not find you there, you are in trouble with me. he yelled.
my mom could do nothing, she sat next to me to keep me company while I stare at her.
she was bruised yet she stood by me.
don't worry, it's three hours remaining till day break. Lena mother comforted her.
an hour later
snores
big fat snores.
let's go to bed, he is asleep. Lena mother said and she refused - scared to face her father wrath again.
mom go, I'm fine. Lena replied.
I can't,my mind won't be at peace. her mom replied.
I'm okay, please do not worry and rest.
thirty minutes later,Lena mother took her when she was about to fall.
she place her besides gracey and slept besides them not without saying her prayers.
End of flashback
Hello young lady, Lena mother yell and she was shock.
why scream mom, she complained
you just stood there frozen
I don't know maybe you were in thought or whatever but you are not evading me today
let' me think about it, Lena said.
there is nothing to think about Lena, everything is perfect.
at least I have the right to think about it, it's my life you are controlling so shouldn't I have the right??
she said and stood up.
where are you going?? her mother asked.
my room. she replied.
but you are not done with your food.
I'm okay. she replied as she walk into her room with thoughts here and there, going on in her mind.
