Prologue
The raindrops raced each other down the window, hurrying towards the windowsill, their path streaked behind them. Heather Blyth watched them, though her thoughts were miles away. Where is Matthias? He should be home by now. Why hasn’t he said anything? Her husband was home every day by 5:30, like clockwork, but it was ten to 6. To anyone else, 2o minutes wouldn’t be something to worry about, but Matthias had never been late in all the years Heather had known him, at least not without a reasonable excuse. Surely something’s come up at work, and he’ll be home any second now. A child’s wail broke her train of thought, calling her back to the present. She got up to tend to her two-year-old daughter, Lily, scooping her out of play pen in the corner of the living room. Heather changed the child’s soiled nappy, but didn’t feed her, even though she was still fussing. Her mother had always warned her that routine was the best for a child, and changing from that routine could upset them.
She held her daughter on her hip, walking her throughout the house. Joshua, the child’s older brother, lifted his arms, wanting to be carried too. “Up, Mama! Me go up!”
“No, Josh. It’s Lily’s turn.” Heather said gently. The poor boy was still confused. She used to carry the two all the time, but ever since finding out she was pregnant with their third child, Matthias had warned her to only carry one at a time. “Come Josh, do you want to feel Baby kick?” She led her children over to her rocking chair, where she sat down with their tiny hands on her round belly.
Glancing up at the clock, Heather’s stomach flipped, and not from the baby inside. 6:09. Matthias had never been this late. Not without letting her know. She checked her phone again. No new messages.
“Oh, Mama! I felt Baby!” Joshua grinned at her, his brown eyes shining with excitement. Lily, not to be outdone, shoved her brother out of the way and put both hands on Heather’s stomach.
“Ah! Baby!”
Heather managed a tight smile, “You feel Baby too, Lily?”
“Yeah, Mama!” she giggled, jumping up and down.
“Mama-,” Josh was interrupted by the doorbell. Who’s that? Matt never rings; he walks straight in. Maybe he forgot his key? Heather got up slowly, doubtful it was her husband, yet hoping all the same.
Her heart plummeted to the floor when she opened the front door, and it was all she could do to keep herself from crashing down with it. She forced herself to listen to the two police officers and answer their questions while trying to shield her children from their words. Josh clung to her skirts, Lily whimpering. They knew something was wrong, even if they couldn’t quite understand what the adults were saying.
Then came the dreaded words, “I’m sorry, Ma’am. Your husband passed away in a serious car accident.”
She pressed a hand against the passageway wall, barely keeping herself up. The rest of his words were just noise to Heather’s ears. Nothing could fix this. He can’t be - he can’t be dead! No, he’s going to come home in a few minutes, apologise for being late, and say there’s been a misunderstanding. He has to be alright! Despite her frantic wishing, the truth bore down on Heather, crushing her. She couldn’t draw air into her lungs, and her baby obviously didn’t like it, giving her the biggest kick yet. She gasped, bending over double, clutching her stomach.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, steadying her, and heard the officer’s worried: “Ma’am? Are you okay? Do you need to lie down?” but it sounded like she was underwater.
The world was swaying as she tried to righten herself, and as she smiled down at her children, trying to comfort them, darkness crept into her vision, clouding over their worried faces.
“Children go to the kitchen.” Heather pointed down the hallway, not wanting her children to see her so distressed, she would explain to them later. “Now,” she added when they made no move, their little faces scared. “It’ll be okay, sweeties. Please listen to Mama.” Josh nodded and took Lily’s hand, leading her away.
Turning back to the officers, she drew in a few deep breaths. “How?” was all she could manage. She didn’t want to know how much pain he was in; she prayed it was a quick and painless death.
The second officer, a woman, spoke, “Would you like to sit down while we talk? I don’t want you or your baby to be hurt.”
Heather shook her head, which was a mistake; it made everything spin faster, “Please, just tell me. Then you can go. I need to feed my children and tell them the news.”
The officers exchanged looks, then the woman continued, “Okay, Ma’am.” She paused for a second, “I’m sorry to say your husband passed away in a car accident. He was in a ute with two co-workers, and one of the other men was driving. Another car ran a red light, fast, causing your husband’s car to spin, stopping sideways on the road, and, well, the large truck behind them couldn’t brake in time, and T-boned the ute. The passenger and your husband in the back both didn’t make it, and the driver is in urgent care. The paramedics believe Mr Blyth passed away instantly.”
Heather breathed a sigh of relief; at least one prayer had been answered today. “Thank you for contacting me, but you’d best be on your way.”
Nodding uncertainly, the police officers said their farewells and left in their squad car. How to tell the children? How will I manage two - almost three - kids by myself? The weight of what happened crashed down on Heather again, harder than before. As she closed the door and turned to go back to the kids, a wave of dizziness washed over her again, threatening to drown her. Nausea and a headache on top made Heather go to her bedroom and lie on her bed. If she tried to talk to her children now, she’d end up being sick or fainting, which would only scare them more.
Quiet footsteps padded down the hallway to her room, and she saw a small blond head peek around her doorway, then dart away again. “Josh, Lily. Come here, darlings,” she called, beckoning her children to her. They sheepishly stuck their heads around the corner, then scrambled up onto her bed, little arms and legs everywhere. Surprisingly, Heather let out a soft laugh watching their antics. Maybe I’ll be okay here after all, she thought, with a child on either side of her, stroking Lily’s cheek and planting a kiss on Joshua’s head. Glancing down at her round belly, she sighed. Who am I kidding? How will I get through this without a husband?
