Entry |
Dear diary,
When I was young my mum was quite the drinker. One day she left the house, she told my she would be back a few hours. The next day when she still haven’t returned I got really worried! I ended up calling the cops and this very nice lady said she would look into it for me and told me to lock the doors... my mum had gotten into a car accident and passed. I ha d never gotten to say goodbye... I miss her...
A few hours after I found out she had died cops showed up and I was put into foster care. one day this women named Joyce decided to adopt me and move me to New York. when I was growing she and her boyfriend would hit me. she had 3 kids. none of them knew about it and they all thought I was their real sibling, I was the youngest. when I was around 5-6 I had gotten my period...
after I was adopted they found my dad which turned out to be Joyce’s ex and the father of her kids, making them my half siblings. I found out the only reason she adopted me was because she knew that and resented me for it. my dad and Joyce share and shared custody of me.
our neighbor was known to be a pedophile but was still allowed around me. when I was playing outside he took me into his home and r@ped me... I got pregnant... I gave birth to my child at 7 and my aunt took her in. her name is isabella, Izzy for short. he is in jail now.
growing up I had always felt...weird... when I was called a girl and I hated feminie things... I forced myself to hate the color pink and purple because of it... I always said my favorite=the color was blue and made sure people knew I hated pink. I hated dresses and skirts. I hated my long hair, it made me feel like a girl... when I turned 8 I had Roblox and really liked playing Brookhaven as a guy and making friends! I would tell people my name was Jake! this girl named Bailey said she would be my girlfriend and we would dtae in the game, she never knew I was a ‘real’ boy... she broke up with me because she ended up being a lesbien.
in 3rd grade(I was 9-10) I found out what trans was and realized that was me. I started going by axle and started using he/him pronouns. I was also bi or pan(I cant quite remember, sorry, lolz!)!
in forth grade I was gay and had a boyfriend named Leo, he was also trans! he always seemed sad but I thought it was gonna be ok because I could help him... he ended up killing himself and I became very depressed... my parents never knew until my teacher said she saw scars on my wrist and told the concsler who told my parents and Joyce hit me for it, she said I was a stupid attention seeker and that she hated me...
the summer of forth grade, going to 5th Joyce saw me trying to k!ll myself by ov3rd0s1ng on Tylenol... she took my tablet and saw my background, it had been a trans flag with bats on it and she got very upset, she said it wasn’t because I was trans but I’m not sure... he stepsister is trans so she used that as ‘proof’ that she was and ‘ally’, I never believed her and I still dont if I’m honest.
she had tried to send me to the metal hospital but I lied to them that I was ok so all they did was send me to therapy and I went to therapy for around 2 years until I told the rapist I was ok and got out of it... the whole time I had this group of friends, Riley, Emma, Alexis, Tristan, Laila, and Saturn. me and Emma began to grow farther apart and we didn’t talk much but we were still friends.
they all knew about my past and what had happened to me... me saturn and Laila dated for a little less then a year and then we broke up. then I dated Alexis and that actually ended a few months ago when... stuff... happened....
sorry but said ‘stuff’ will be in the next chapter! please make sure to follow so you can get updates!
763 words total!
