Prologue (Sandra)
10 years ago
The bell rang. The loud shrieking sound cut through my skull and sent a ripple of movement down the halls. Derick shuffled over to me with a bright smile. Breaking through the crowd that all herded out the small double doors of our high school. Everyone is eager to get home.
My winter coat made a crinkled sound when I took Derick’s gloved hand in mine.
Our clouded breaths mixed in the afternoon light as we spoke. Our steps unhurried as our boots crunch through the fresh snow. The sound of school kids fading in the distance the longer we walked.
Derick lived in the same neighborhood as me. Further away from our school. We’d walked the same path home for years. Never really interacting much beside a small acknowledgement when he inevitably passed me on the sidewalk. Since his long legs carried him faster than mine.
But it all changed this winter when I had slipped on an ice patch and he’d caught me by the arm. He’d stayed by my side the rest of that walk home. And I got to chatting to cover up the pinch of embarrassment I felt.
Now we walked home together every day. We’d even started eating our lunches together alone. Which is a huge deal in high school— as I found out a few weeks ago. Everyone thought we were an item, even though that was so not true. But now we kind of are... I think. We hadn’t spoken about it—according to my friends there has to be a ‘are we official’ talk to make it so. But I haven’t worked up the courage yet. I fiddled with the keys in my pocket nervously.
Maybe today will be that day.
Derick wants to take me somewhere special on our walk today. He asked me during lunch. And since then I’ve been a ball of nervous and excited butterflies. My friends are probably waiting by their phones right now, anticipating the news.
I just hoped I had the news they wanted.
Derick deviated from the sidewalk, leading me by the hand onto a non-descriptive trail into the woods.
There was less snow on the ground under the umbrella of the pines and maples. The smell of damp soil and old leaves clung to my nose.
“Where are we going?” I giggled, staring up at the back of Derick’s head, covered in bouncy brown curls. They swayed when he peeked back at me. The trail to narrow to walk side by side.
“It’s a surprise.” He’d said. Smile pulling his charming face. Brown eyes alight with mischief.
I was glad I wore my winter boots today, instead of the converse’s I preferred. My toes would have been half frozen by now. He talked about why he loved this mysterious place he led me to as we passed tree after tree. Everything looking the same under the thin cover of snow.
“Are we almost there?” I asked again minutes after I’d asked it before.
He’d chuckled, “You’re worse than my little brother in the back of the car.”
I pouted, my head swiveling around the landscape.
I wasn’t sure where I had expected he’d take me. Maybe to the diner on main to slurp milk shakes together. Or to the new arcade down the block where all the high school boys spend their free time.
There was nothing out here. Just snow. Dirt. Trees. What could possibly be all the way out here?
It’d be dark by the time we got there. I was sure of it. The sun set so early this time of year.
“It’ll be dark soon.” I said tersely, cutting through his chatter.
He gave no response. Stopped all chatting completely. Thick silence blanketed us. Only the sound of our boots crunching forward slicing through it.
I’m not sure why it un-nerved me. But my sternum tightened and my stomach knotted. Suddenly, my legs were reluctant to keep going, and the hand holding mine felt like a shackle.
“I think we should turn back, maybe come another time.” My voice strained over a lump in my throat.
A frisson of panic shot through me when he gripped my hand tighter and said, “We’re almost there.” In a tone that lacked air.
I tried to shake his hand off, slow our march forward by digging my heels into the earth.
“No, I want to go back.” I said hoarsely, trying to stern my trembling voice.
His grip tightened painfully, the delicate bones whining in his fist. I dug my heels in, using all my body weight to counter his forward stride.
Until he was just dragging me. My footing becoming choppy as I staggered forward a step. Again and again. Trying to find new footing to counter him. My other hand whipped forward to pry his hand off my other. But it was like he’d glued our gloved hands together.
He didn’t even look back at me as I panicked. My struggle a cacophony of dragging heels over frozen dirt and harsh breaths.
“Derik, let go of me.” I barked. Our pace incredibly slow now. The snowy dirt path behind us covered in gouges and long scars from my effort.
He did as I asked.
He let me go.
So suddenly I flew back. The junk in my backpack digging into my spine as I landed on it. I winced and groaned, momentarily dazed. The view of the sky pierced by long, bare branches and thick pine.
Derick’s charming face broke the view. His legs bracketed my hips as he straddled me.
I always called him prince charming. Because of how he saved me that day but also because of those kind warm eyes, strong straight nose, and almost diplomatic smile. But now I saw it for what it was. A mask. A strategic cover up of the monster underneath.
I wasn’t sure when I had fisted the keys from my pocket. Or when I had poked one through my curled fingers. Or when I had stabbed him with them.
But I remembered when he tumbled back. My harsh clouding breaths hindering the view of him, clutching his hand to the apex of his shoulder to quill the crimson rivulets seeping through his fingers.
His terrified eyes branded the backs of my eyelids as I ran. My backpack smacking my back while I stumbled through the sprint of my life.
I was pragmatic enough to slow down when I neared my house.
I had just stabbed someone.
My mind repeated again and again. Until it became a chant.
I had just stabbed someone. I had just stabbed someone. I had just stabbed someone.
The more it chanted, growing louder and louder. I felt airy, trembling legs turning into steel as I powered forward. My jaw set hard, trying to keep from smiling.
I had stabbed Derick. I had won. I had defended myself.
I was sure he’d be fine. The wound didn’t look fatal, but I still felt powerful. High even. Like I could achieve anything. I’d felt nothing like it before.
