Dream Beyond the Circle

I am an African American young lady.

I was born and raised in Africa.

I have been living in a society that deprives women and young girls from dreaming beyond the circle. In a world where we women are told that only men deserve success and fame.

While we, the women, are expected to play the role of housewives and caregivers.

With this mindset, it has really affected our generation. Especially the younger ones. They believe that they cannot dream beyond their imagination. They cannot hope for more. That’s how this society is making us youths feel.

Young girls now only have interest in either cosmetology or hairdressing. This is all they want to be, because they don't believe they can be lawyers, doctors, billionaires, or even have better jobs out there.

But as a future lawyer, I see this and I know this. And I will do everything possible to change this society and the mindset of young girls.

They are being fooled and misled into thinking they cannot become police officers, firefighters, or mechanics just because they are ladies.

But this is not what we should be teaching our youths, especially the ladies. We should guide them and make them believe that they can be whatever they put their minds to.

(Gender and insecurities)

In the world today, women feel insecure.

And I, as a female, am testifying to this claim. I have carefully sat down and watched women and young girls being mocked by boys and even their fellow ladies.

As a girl, you look around you and see others with bigger bodies, and you feel insecure.

You start thinking of how you can change that. In a world where you feel like others are prettier than you, you get mocked or bullied for something you cannot change.

Some girls wish they were boys just because society decided to treat them as trash. It's not their fault for trying to change in order to fit in.

(Let me set some little examples)

Recently, I was scrolling on TikTok when I saw a guy wearing makeup. Then I opened his comment section. I felt so disappointed in the type of comments people dropped. Mostly, I was disappointed in the mindset people have.

One person commented, "We have lost another one." Let me break that comment down. It simply means they think the boy is now acting like a girl just because he had makeup on. Mind you, the makeup wasn't even much.

But people forget that all the actors we see on TV today have makeup on. I don't care if you agree or disagree, but the majority of actors wear makeup.

When I saw that comment, I paused for a moment and asked myself, why can't people just let him be? Let him feel free.

Moving on to the next shocking thing I found.

Still on TikTok, there is this girl. I won’t give her name for privacy reasons. She is 17. If I told you people only watch her to mock her, you might think I'm lying. The amount of hate comments she receives is heartbreaking.

She once shared her story. She said her dad was abusive and controlling, and it was bad for her mental health.

I felt so bad. I was almost in tears. But when I opened her recent post, the hate comments were still there. People make funny stickers of her and humiliate her.

I might not know her personally, but what I know is that no one deserves to be hated that much for nothing. She is just trying to be a teen.

The saddest part is that the majority of hate comments she got were from adults — parents. I feel so disappointed. How can a full-grown adult sit online and bully a kid?

Moving on to another issue.

There is this girl who gets bullied because of her looks. I feel so ashamed of how people treat her.

In this society, when a girl is being a girl, they judge her. When she acts differently, they still judge her. I don't get it anymore. What do they expect us to do?

I used to ask myself why a girl would want to be a boy. But now I found my answer. We don't feel seen. We don't feel heard. We feel invisible. We feel insecure.

I'm not saying boys don't go through anything. But let's be honest — many girls go through this.

(Another brief example)

If two people are married and, God forbid, they divorce, the man will likely walk freely. But the woman will carry that label forever. She will always be seen as "the woman who got left."

Rumors will spread: "Maybe she wasn't enough," "Maybe he found someone else." But the man continues freely.

Coming to another issue.

Many men today find women attractive only when they are slim or fit certain beauty standards. And plus-size ladies ask, "What about us?"

So they start forcing themselves to go to the gym. They start skipping meals just to fit in.

I have seen girls hate themselves because they are plus-size. I have seen people look in the mirror and ask God, "How could you create me like this?"

It is painful to watch.

Some girls stop eating. Some lose confidence. Some even think their lives don't matter — all because of body shaming.

Yet society focuses on everything else.

We should teach girls to focus on their dreams instead of their bodies.

That's what society needs.

It is falling apart. It needs leaders. We should stand up now before it's too late.

Parents should not bully their kids about their bodies. Kids should feel free. They should love who they are — plus-size or skinny — because it's their identity.

And I want young girls to know this:

It is okay to dream big. Don't let anyone deprive you of your dreams. Dream beyond the circle. Yes, cosmetology is good. Hairdressing is good. But there are also lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs, and many other careers. Dream big.

Set your goal. Work toward it. Achieve it.

Don't let society shut you down.

Don't let your body tell you who you are.

Don't let belly fat stop you from eating the food you like.

Please, just go for it.

Face it.

I'm right here to guide you.

I will be here.

And when you make it,

I will celebrate you.