Prologue
July 20th, 2015Valentina Brown, 17 years old
The burning in my stomach isn´t from the strawberry smoothie I had earlier, it comes from the emotions I’ve been holding back as I watch my dad carry my suitcases out to the car. I never thought I’d go through with the decision to attend a boarding university four hours away from home.
But I’m not regretting it. If I’m being honest, this is something I’ve wanted since halfway through high school all for one simple reason: to stop being surrounded by the same idiots.
I know being somewhere else will be good for me. New faces, different air, that’s all I want.
My room now feels empty and cold. The only sound filling it is the soft bounce of the little stress ball I used to use whenever I had a panic attack. A shaky sigh escapes my lips, as if I’ve been holding it in since the moment, I woke up.
The clock reads 5:21 a.m. Each tick of the hands drills into my ears with unbearable precision, making me feel sick. My gaze drifts back to the small red ball, and the urge to squeeze it makes my hands tremble. But I remind myself again. I won’t need it anymore. I must be strong.
Still… leaving my parents after 17 years is harder than I let it on.
Dad walks in to grab the last suitcase. His orange hair brings back too many memories. He gives me a small nod before leaving again. I look down at my feet, my mind racing with scenarios that force me to clench my fists, controlling my emotions for the fourth time today.
I used to think of myself as affectionate, loving, and expressive. I loved people intensely, and my joy was the most noticeable thing about me.
Now, I was forced to erase all of that in one blow… because the best version of me ended up in the hands of people who didn’t deserve it.
Too bad I realized it was too late.
I was just an innocent girl who believed everyone could show affection without shame. No one warned me about the fine print of facing society. I learned the hard way that it’s better to be alone than in bad company that not even your own shadow can be trusted. Hypocrisy starts small… and grows in the ones who seem the purest.
“Sweetheart! Your dad is waiting outside. It’s time to go, you need to be there by noon.”
Hearing my mom gives me a sudden breath of courage. Without looking back, I turn around and close the door behind me. As I walk downstairs, my shoulders begin to feel lighter, knowing I’m leaving behind every bad memory and every traumatic experience.
I walk straight ahead, not bothering to look at anything else in the house. I’ve lived here my entire life. I know every detail, every corner, even the chipped paint on the walls. Leaving without one last glance won’t hurt me.
Once inside the car, while my mom closes the front door, my dad doesn’t stop staring at me.
“Something wrong?” I ask.
“Is something wrong with you?”
There it is, that cold, piercing look Mr. Brown uses to pull out even the dirtiest of secrets.
“You’re 17. It’s normal for anxiety to consume you when you don’t even know half of what life is.”
“No… but that half has already shown me what people are made of.”
He exhales slowly.
“I know you wanted to study far away because—”
“Don’t mention them, Dad. You won’t finish the list.”
After that, he says nothing.
The four-hour drive stretches endlessly ahead of us. I rest my head against a pillow, trying to fall asleep, but it’s useless. The houses blur past the window, each one reminding me of the nights I walked home with an empty gaze – heartbroken, disappointed, confused – my chest caving in. Those late-night walks where it felt like my skin had been torn apart.
No one knows the story behind that picture. They only saw the captured moment, and I made sure it stayed that way. I swore it would be the last time anyone ever saw me humiliated.
The long drive fades into the background the moment I realize we’re less than fifteen minutes away. I roll down the window, letting the summer air and sunlight dance through my hair. The new city welcomes me more peacefully than I expected. I notice several cars and trucks heading in the same direction, so I assume they’re all going to the boarding school.
As we turn the corner, my stomach flips violently.
A whole new world unfolds before me. The colors, the people, everything feels like it belongs to some secret planet. My heartbeat quickens, and as Dad slows down to find a place to park, nausea rises in my throat.
Half the place is filled with students dragging suitcases out of taxis, others saying tearful goodbyes to their parents, some greeting friends with excitement, and in the second year returning from vacation. The noise drills into my ears, leaving me unable to move, even if I wanted to.
On the outside, my face shows one thing. Inside, my mind is spinning.
The trunk pops open, snapping me back to reality. I realize I’m the only one left inside the car. Dazed, I reached for the door.
A loud honk cuts through the air.
“Watch out!”
“The door, Valentina!”
It slams shut, sending me back inside. My heart pounds painfully against my chest. My hearing dulls, shutting out the outside world as I see my dad pressed against the door, breathing heavily.
And just like that… everything goes silent.
Dad opens the door again, panic written all over his face.
“Are you okay?”
He helps me out of the car, his attention fully on making sure I’m not hurt, while I scan everything around me. People are staring, shocked and concerned.
“Is everything alright?” a man asks as he approaches. Older, broad-shouldered, whit dark hair and streaks of gray. I recognize him instantly, the principal.
“I’m terribly sorry. People forget this is a school zone and drive like maniacs.”
“Don’t worry. My daughter is perfectly fine,” my dad replies.
The man’s gaze lands on me, and he offers a small smile, extending his hand.
“Principal Octavio. A pleasure to meet you, Miss…”
“Valentina.”
“Welcome to the Boarding School. It’s an honor to guide you through your final academic stage. If you’ll excuse me, I must return to the entrance to receive other the students.”
He turns around and crosses the street, carefully looking at both ways this time. Eventually, the people around me lose interest and go back to their own business.
With my suitcases beside me, my mom steps in front of me, her teary eyes scanning my face.
“My big girl… I’d be lying if I said I’m ready to leave you here.”
“It’s university, Mom not the airport.”
“Don’t minimize my feelings. You’re my daughter, and even though I’m proud of you, it still makes me sad that I won’t see you every morning.”
I hug her warm body, letting her emotions spill over my shoulder. Of course I’m going to miss them. Of course I’ll miss waking up in my room, having breakfast together. Of course I’ll miss my old home.
No matter how strong I pretend to be, I’m still human. My feelings are still alive inside me.
Dad presses a soft kiss on my forehead, pulling me against his chest. His large frame shields my fragile one. Without saying a word, he shows how hard this is for him too that his only daughter won’t be just one door away anymore.
He gently pulls me back, placing his hands on my shoulders. In his brown eyes, I can see straight into his soul, and somewhere deep down, I realize that the new version of me is being shaped in his image.
And I’m willing to accept that.
Because if there’s one thing my father has taught me, it’s that strength is a person’s greatest shield.
“If you need us, just call me. If you want to get back in the car, I’ll take you home.”
I swallow the lump in my throat.
“I want to stay here.”
He nods, a mix of resignation and sadness crossing his face, and kisses my forehead one last time.
“Go ahead, then. Dad will be right here if you decide to look back.”
I see Mom sniffle as she hands me my suitcases. I smile, trying to ease her sadness.
I drag my things behind me, walking toward the massive gates with my nerves on edge. Trembling, I take a step forward into a new reality.
My body feels lighter. My heart hums loudly in my ears.
I line up behind a boy with a shaved head. The new students are being handed in with maps, schedules, and assigned rooms. When it’s my turn, I give my last name. The girl searches through stacks of papers, smiles at me warmly, wishing me a great start.
I take in the inside of the school; my breath catches as I realize just how massive it is. The buildings look enormous. My legs begin to tremble, but I refuse to turn back.
I grip both my suitcases… and my fears.
By instinct, I glance back. I catch something on my dad’s face almost like an illusion, but I simply wave goodbye.
They understand. I’m not changing my mind.
Saying goodbye to my parents makes one thing clear: I have to turn my back on the past and face whatever comes next without knowing what it will be.
But this time, without fear.
Because Valentina Brown is someone new in this boarding school. Valentina Brown will face anyone with her head held high.
