Mysterious

"I liked this story. There is a sense of mystery going on here, and I also appreciated the fact that the characters are so well worked out. One thing I would advice the author is to sort this story into paragraphs and to structure the story a bit more in general. I now found it quite hard to follow as it all blurred into one big thing; there was no space to breathe, I felt. The author writes at the beginning a warning that the work is still in progress. There are still quite some spelling and punctuation mistakes to sort out, but that’s always secondary of course, and this can still be done later!"