The way things changed
After the summer break, everything changed.
The school had finally shifted to the permanent campus.
For the first two months, only the tenth graders were called back—
we were the seniors now, the board students.
We were supposed to settle in first.
I wasn’t one of them.
My mom didn’t allow me to return early because of my math and science tuition.
She had even taken permission from the principal.
Our school didn’t have proper teachers for those subjects yet.
It would take time.
And maybe… she knew I wouldn’t want to go back anyway.
Maeum—my seatmate, my closest friend—had transferred schools during the break.
Family problems, they said.
Which meant…
I would be alone.
I hated that.
I also heard that two new girls had joined our class.
I didn’t know them.
I didn’t want to know them.
Time passed.
And suddenly, it was September.
September 5th. Teacher’s Day.
My mom was part of the parent-teacher committee, so she had to attend.
Which meant I had to go too.
We reached the school and parked a little far from the academic block.
“You’re coming in?” she asked.
I shook my head.
I wasn’t in uniform.
And I didn’t feel like facing anyone.
She didn’t insist.
After she left, I stood there quietly, listening.
Music. Laughter. Chaos.
“They’re having so much fun…” I muttered.
A few minutes later—
“Nabi!!”
I turned.
It was Bumi.
She was standing by a classroom window, waving excitedly—with another girl beside her, someone I didn’t recognize. They were holding refreshments.
I smiled and waved back.
“Come here!!” she gestured.
“No…” I mouthed, shaking my head.
She disappeared a moment later, probably called back inside.
Silence returned.
I looked down, lost in my thoughts again—
trying to prepare myself for a year where I would have no one.
Then—
I saw him.
Standing at the verandah near the hall.
Jaemin.
My eyes widened.
I immediately crouched down, hiding myself.
“Why is he out…” I whispered.
He had probably come out for a washroom break.
He didn’t notice me.
Of course he didn’t.
By the time I officially returned to school…
everything had already begun.
That night, I arrived late.
Most of the girls had already settled in.
I got the last bed.
The corner one.
Alone.
Everyone else had their own partners.
The ninth graders had already arrived earlier, and for now, we were all staying in the same dorm building—just different rows.
It felt strange.
But it wouldn’t stay like this for long.
In a few days, all the houses would be separated into different dorms.
I told myself it would get better then.
The next day came too quickly.
It was raining, so morning P.T. was cancelled.
My first class after months.
And I was alone.
No seat partner.
No one waiting.
And somehow, no one told me we had an English exam.
I just sat there and wrote whatever I could.
It stung more than I expected.
Things slowly started to change after that.
I became closer to one of the new girls—Naeun.
We started going to the dorm together during breaks, just to eat snacks and talk.
It wasn’t much.
But it was something.
Later that day—
“Nabi, let’s go get water,” Chaerina said.
“Okay,” I smiled.
We walked out together with our bottles.
“Chae… I miss being your bedmate,” I laughed.
“I know… now we’ll all be separated again,” she frowned.
Before I could reply, we ran into Adrian and Jaemin.
They were heading our way.
“Where to?” Adrian asked casually.
“Water tap,” Chaerina lifted her bottle.
He nodded.
I stayed quiet.
Jaemin too.
“How’s life, Nabi?” Adrian grinned.
I just gave a small laugh.
“Bye,” Chaerina said as we walked past them.
I didn’t look back.
That evening, we finally moved into our assigned house dorms.
Everything became more structured.
More distant.
More… real.
Saffron and Azure shared one building.
Emerald and Crimson faced us from the other side.
Everything was separated—
but still somehow connected.
That night, in the Saffron dorm, there were only five of us from our house.
The rest were juniors.
The building felt too big.
Too empty.
Too quiet.
“I’ll go freshen up,” Boreum said, picking up her bucket.
“I’ll come with you,” I replied.
It felt scary going alone.
While we waited, she suddenly spoke—
“You know what?”
“Hm?”
“During the vacation… Jaemin came to meet me once. With Seungmin.”
My head snapped up.
“Really?!”
I couldn’t hide it.
“Tell me more,” I smiled, a little too quickly.
“It’s nothing,” she laughed. “He lives near my place now.”
I sighed softly.
“You still like him… don’t you?” she asked.
“…Yeah,” I admitted.
“I think… it got worse.”
The next day, the juniors arrived.
The school finally felt full again.
Loud.
Alive.
We had responsibilities now—as house captains.
We guided them, assigned beds, explained rules.
Pretended we knew what we were doing.
That’s when I noticed something.
Jaemin wasn’t the Saffron boy's captain anymore.
Joon had taken his place.
Why?
I didn’t ask.
I didn’t think I should.
Later, I saw him again.
On the football ground.
Playing.
I paused.
That was new.
He was always a volleyball player.
Since when did he change?
But…
he looked the same.
No—
better.
And as always—
people were watching him.
Especially from the balcony.
He didn’t even try.
He just was.
And somehow…
even after everything changed—
some things didn’t.
I was still looking at him.
The same way.
