I Will Be Brutal

As I sit in my single stone room alone on the outskirts of our Devil worshipping Convent, I take off my glasses for not too far short distance and continue eating with one hand while the other disregards page after page of my stories into the furnace in front of me. The world is nothing now, but silence and fear. Most of the strangers we ever come across either become one of us, or we kill them. They kill them. Tonight was Initiation Night for a newcomer, a man who had no idea what he was getting himself into.

He would've been given a tour by now, since the moon had taken its place in the sky. I was burning my stories because I was going to be leaving to help establish a new Convent point, our leader had chosen me among 3 others for each 3 points of the cross to go with him. I was at the top, as it were, with the cross being turned upside down. Devil worship... I had always been in-between, which James respected but the others not so much. He vowed almost as closely as he did to Satan to keep me around. I killed a man and only once, which saved James' life before he became the Cultist Leader that he is now. I equally vowed never again, unless it was one of the Undead, by which it case it was not a human.

One of us would become one tonight. Initiation Night, after the tour, included a duel. What no one knew, besides James and the Council and I, is that the duel was always rigged based on how impressed the Leader was with the newbie's skills. If he was shit, he would die very quickly with a shake of the head from James. If he had potential his opponent would make it fair at a nod from James. If the man was beyond prosperous, the opponent would allow the newbie to take over. Here James would smile that sadistic smile and it would be settled. The body would turn into a Consumer depending how it was put down, lower than us through the seven layers of Hell, and further burned in a bonfire. Then the Great Celebration would take place, which I never had any part of. Not that this bothered any of them. James understood.

Now it was time for the duel, I could hear human howling as light erupted from the warehouse in the centre of the Convent. I pulled on my thick black boots and an equally dark jacket, almost forgetting my glasses, before locking the door with a padlock and key. I then made my way over quietly. Most were in there already besides a few I caught up to filing in through the sliding doors. I watched as their silhouettes stretched behind them, and peered back at mine as I pulled the doors closed with a loud metallic creak.

The chatting was loud as I found myself a spot among strangers, everyone circled widely around the very centre. James stood, and in his company stood 4 people: the newbie, the opponent, and two guards that held each a blindfolded newbie or opponent; all waiting. James raised his hands, full of silver rings, and slowly lowered them to command silence.

"Future Kings and Queens of the New World," he began, clasping his hands together. "Tonight we submit a request to our beloved Snake that we be granted a new Apprentice," he detached his hands and signalled to the right to one of the blindfolded, and it was removed to reveal dark eyes. "Dear the Dark and the Unholy Lord, grant us a new succession as we move through a new generation, and invest in the spreading of our Kingdom..." James pauses, scanning the room as literal hundreds stood in anticipation. "And here, the opponent!" His left hand signals to the other man, whose blindfold is also removed. I didn't know his name, and many cheered.

"And further, Unholy Father," the leader's gaze landed on mine as I stood almost directly opposite. "Grant our champion strength, and if he is to fail then condemn his eternal soul to a better Hell. Peachy?"

"Peachy," everyone chanted in unison.

After James moved to sit upon his pedestal, the two men were pushed towards their imaginary ring. I looked at their eyes. Ambition, but two different variations. Apprentice had fear, but intended on survival. Opponent held pride, and intended on proving his worth. Only the Apprentice mattered here, as he immediately grieved a broken nose and went to tackle the Opponent. I made my way on the outskirts of the crowd to James, thankfully ignored by all. The Opponent had the Apprentice on the floor, taking blows to the side of his torso and head, when I reached the Leader.

"I never met him before," I told him as I leaned against the side of his throne, probably the only person who ever dared to and was accepted to.

"Look how many there are," he marvelled utterly calm, and invested in only the duel before him. "You'd never have been able to know all their names or who the were before." The Apprentice was beginning to fail, unable to stand now on his knees before receiving a final pummel to the face. The Opponent looked towards us, James shook his head and shivers ran down my spine. "None of it matters now" was the last thing he said before the warehouse erupted into chaos.

Just when we believed that the Apprentice was done for, the Opponent stood over him a knife was pulled and his Achilles tendons were both sliced in one long gash. The Opponent screamed and fell, and his neck was equally slit moments after he had landed. People screamed and roared, holding each other back from joining in equal to celebration. James was furious and at a loss as he stood up but stayed at my side. No one knew that it wasn't meant to happen, but they knew the rules were broken. Fists only. I knew it wasn't meant to happen, and I could feel our Leader boil in anguish beside me.

Still the Apprentice, now outsider, laid; clutching the knife and wheezing through his fractured face. I took it upon myself to approach, and weirdly people silenced and moved out of the way for me. Now, they knew I was on their side, it was always a marvel for them however when I proved it. He had his eyes closed for far too long and I stood above him for a moment, they were closed long enough for my silence to stun him as I trapped his wrist under my boot and eventually he dropped the knife so I could take it. In return for his rule breaking, I served unto him the same as he wrongfully gifted our man. I rolled him over by his calves and cut his Achilles tendons, slower than he gave and his screams filled the space around us all bound to attract Consumers outside our walls.

I moved away afterwards, at a safe enough distance for James to make his way over and lash out if he needed to. He stood by our man's side as he now laid dead, his eyes quickly clouded and colourless. James looked sad, disappointed, in everyone really. He looked up at me from a sideways glance, and then around the rest of us with a gaze of grim.

"We have rules," he paused as he reached the outsider on the ground, peering down at him with his hands pressed together in front of his chest. "For a reason." Unexpectedly James then stomped down on the back of the man's head. Many flinched, I observed and stayed where I was as our leader emitted a second stomp and then circled around the ring staring out around his people.

"This man," dramatic suspense pissed me off, as he pointed as he circled, but I knew I probably wouldn't get off punishment as easy if I didn't listen. "Broke our rules. This is what happens. When you break our rules. Now we have no Apprentice. We have lost two souls, one Unholy blessed and the other so un-sacred and un-catered for. If he was already one of us, his works of art would truly be rewarded. But this scum deserves none."

Screeching pierced the stale air from nowhere we could see, but we knew... People's eyes widened realising the mistake of one man has risked all of their lives. "You two!" James spun to the two guards to stood together not far from me, still pointing as he spat at them. "And you," he slowly then pointed over to me, much more calmer. "You will follow me. The rest of you know your tasks in these certain trials, I expect you to follow your duties certain under our Lord's command. Behold the consequences before you, if you lack in certainty. Peachy." James stared off at the floor for a moment too short, and then set off into action.

"Peachy," barely half of the crowd responded, distractedly rushing off to their posts, and some no doubt running to hide in betrayal. Off I followed James, with the two guards shoved in front of me as we left the warehouse and trudged too slow for my liking to the West entrance. It led to the sea, with a strict path we had curated decoratively and hence nowhere else to go. To my surprise but utter loyalty we left through this gateway and then lingered almost peacefully on the beach.

The tide was in, almost up to the trail, yet we stood out far in the sea to our knees in complete silence as the Convent emitted a low hum of crackling and crying. The moon hung still, higher in the sky than what it had earlier it had grown. It reflected on the waves, gushing and pushing against my legs cold, it was this I was focusing on with eyes closed blind and almost forgetting why we were here.. when James uttered my name.

"Phoenix," I opened my eyes and stared at him, knowing what was coming. What he was about to ask me. I was about to break my vow, I could merely repeat in my head over and over until it made me dizzy, as he approached through the water leaving behind ripples like that of a boat. "This is yours."

I take it hesitantly, grasping the handle so furiously my knuckles were turning white. "This is part of your hand. Unto the necks of the fallen." He brings his fist against his own neck, and then turns to face the two guards expectant and quickly waiting. Both teary eyed, one fallen to his knees in pleading and the other with clenched fists already accepting his fate.

"James, I told you.." I shook my head, almost teary eyed myself as I turn my wrist left and right studying the blade itself. "Only the Undead."

"They are, sweetheart," he put his hands into his pockets, and turned his head to the side slightly with curiosity. "You already know that, you just have to accept it. We aren't going anywhere until it's done."

Not only had I vowed to James and myself, I had vowed to any omnipotent being that would listen not to kill another being. As far as I was aware this had been accepted by whichever Satan or God had heard, because I had never been put into a situation in these 5 years to break it. One thing was for certain, the man whom had been taking care of the outsider was at fault and needed his punishment for all.

I brushed past James and stood before them still, first looking down at the one kneeling and then up at the man standing straight. "Which one of you brought the outsider in?" The man on his knees spluttered his claim, spit and dribble and snot coating his face no doubt as salty as the waves around us. "Who was responsible for the tour?" The man on his knees, again. The water was up to his chest but his core strength enabled him stability though he shuddered. I huffed in preparation, un-clenching and clenching again the handle of the knife. "The removal of his weapons?" I felt a surge within me as I waited, and the man that stood before me considerably taller too made his first and final claim.

I'm not sure how I fulfilled my so-called task, both due to his height and my own will.. but that surge granted me the power in my hand and the knife drove up through his chin and into his skull. Immediately his weight fell on top of it and I just managed to pull the blade out with a crack before he landed in the water. He sort of floated, gurgling and draining blood into the shore and I watched for almost too long as everything around him turned red until James made his next play.

"Phoenix," my hand shook as he approached my side, placing a hand on my shoulder as he spoke into my ear like a little Devil on my shoulder. "This last Omen is yours to decide. You kill, and you receive immediate redemption from whichever God you have spoken to of late."

"And if I don't?" I unwillingly looked down at the final obstacle, he had stopped crying now, and looked as if he was about to stand but even then that realisation was too late. It appeared his fear for losing his life over facing punishment overruled him, and from some frailty of the strength he had left he lunged for me and the knife.

James tried to push me out of the way, but I equally set my sights on keeping him out of harms way and rather shouldered him off to the right. Here the man grabbed hold of the hem of my jacket on my left, and we twisted over each other into the water. I tried to resurface but something was preventing me so, a heavy weight against my arms and chest as the man was trying to drown me. It felt like forever as I had my eyes closed and most of my senses deprived. I prayed for a thousand Hells truly to reign over this man and rip him from me to pieces. But then there was the dim light of the moon under the surface as I risked opening my eyes to sting, casting streaks of wonder and comet like projections through the water towards me. And here I prayed then to God, if that was his reach, to pull me from this Hell to salvation.

Rather, under whoever's will it was, James intervened just as pain ripped through me like that of fire and ice at once. The knife was no longer in my grasp as I was pulled out of the water choking and screaming through agony until I could calm to stillness in James' hold. I was sat down just on the brink where the waves reached the sand, staring over at the two bodies now floating together hollow. Just as hollow as I felt, that stabbing pain in my side didn't worry me until James noticed it and pulled up my shirt because it was seeping through. He pressed around the opening of a new wound. I shrieked, trying to shove his hands away as he knelt next to me with only the intentions of stopping my bleeding. In the end my wrists were squeezed up into the air and I surrendered because the stretching made it worse, and I could merely strangle a cry awkwardly as James then let my arms back down.

Unexpectedly James carried with him a bandage like apparatus, a strip of cloth. "All I've got" he told me as he wrapped it around my waist and pulled it tight. The bleeding did eventually stop, and though I had the urgency and voiced as much to get back to the Convent, James suggested we stay here for a while. It had been a while since it was just us, I could remember the day we found each other like it was yesterday. Though I was worried he was not, and eerily so as he then sat next to me and took off his shoes to dig his feet into the sand underneath the water. I found myself leaning my head over onto his shoulder, growing tired. I was probably the only person he'd ever allow to talk with him like a heretic. Such as the fact that despite him being our Leader, he was but a man. I would be the only person to ever tell him this until a day came where I was not there to save him, and there unto him his mortality would be displayed to him on a silver platter. The others were trained and experienced enough in their own rights to protect themselves if anything did get in, so was James but the way in which he had portrayed himself to the Convent made it seem like he was immortal. 

Eventually there was no more screaming coming from the Convent. It was always a question between purpose and meaning, if we were meant to do what we do. If they were meant to do what they do. Why do we do it? Why do they? We had no way of knowing if the whole world was infected and now just as desolate as our little mainland. Before I met James I travelled around our mainland discreetly, managing somehow to keep out of the Consumers' way. I found that most were indeed infected and thus Undead, but there were other groups I had found and studied as notes rather than stories. I'm not sure how we managed to get the following that we did, I mean we weren't exactly violent. Only to protect ourselves and our people, and to ensure anyone new could do the same. I sit here with James and wonder what could have been if I hadn't saved him, or if I hadn't stayed after he got better.

But the fact that I did stay, gave me some sort of hope that I held onto my humanity. Now I felt myself slipping away, and I fell backwards into the sand left with James peering over me and tapping my numbing face.