Prologue
Author’s Note - (This project is in its very early stages of development. What is currently visible to the public is only a sneak peak into what will eventually as a finished product.)
Prologue:
Be happy, or be joyful? Be right, or be liked? Live with a cold, rigid truth, or die by a warm fuzzy lie? Everything is a choice. There’s several ways to look at it, it’s perspective. I think the most accurate way to look at it is - it’s easy to choose the wrong path. It’s easy to choose what you know you shouldn’t.
It’s like getting coddled by a monster that just happens to be wearing warm fluffy gloves. If you make the conscious effort to look up at the monster’s face, you’re horrified. But it’s easy to choose not to look up. It’s easy to just focus on the comfort and the softness of the glove and push away the still-existing knowledge that under that glove there’s a horrifying, predatory set of claws, of which are dripping with deadly poison. You know that the face of which the glove belongs to is a monster that’s intentionally killing you, but if you just keep focusing on the softness of the gloves that are coddling you, you don’t forget that you’re being coddled by a monster. You forget what a monster is. But just because you forgot how dangerous that monster is doesn’t change the fact that it's dangerous.
Perception does not equal reality, and when that disparity grows further and further, that’s where the situation gets really scary; That fear is a fear you don't even feel, which in and of itself makes it even scarier. It’s the fog of war in a war you don’t even realize you’re in. It’s like being drugged, because it is being drugged. Every time you consciously choose sin, your perceptual grip on reality lessens even more.
Every time you consciously choose sin, the feel-good chemicals you release, which are coming from imperfect and ungodly sources, are increased. Your mind becomes further and further addicted to sin on a chemical level. You quite literally get high on dopamine; you get foggy. And it’s not just when you’re actively doing a sinful action, it's constant; you are living in sin. So as a result of that continuous sinful action that in and of itself sprouted from that one first instance of conscious choice to commit that sin, you are living in a constant state of spiritual highness. You’re aware of the significance of your actions in the factual sense, but you don’t feel it. Because you don’t feel it, it doesn’t actually have any value worthy of action to you.
When defending against this, it's important to be knowledgeable of all of these present things - the existence and reasoning for the spiritual war that affects all of us, our role in it, the enemy's schemes against us, the enemy's reasoning for his efforts, and how all of this ends. But knowledge without action is obsolete. This is what I have been struggling with as of late. I am aware of all of this, contrary to almost everyone I know, especially those of which are my age.
Still, I fall the same as others fall. I fall just as hard as you do; probably harder. The reason that I will be standing along with the victors, the few, when this war is over, is that I get up when I fall. We all have the opportunity to do this. Because of what Jesus has done for us, we have the right to get back up, and not only that, but to stand in confidence when we do; not of our own accords, but solely because of our Savior - Jesus Christ.
Culminating all of this, everything you do is a conscious choice. In reality, on a macro level, this war that we fight is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil, for it is written in Ephesians by the Apostle Paul.
On a personal level though, this war is against ourselves - a constant battle against our own mind. A lot of us, myself included, like to think that our mind doesn't fluctuate, but it does. Our mental stance as a result of our mental state changes throughout time, and I'm not talking about in the long term, although that too is true. I am talking about the short term, throughout your day to day. We all know what emotions are, I don't have to spell that out for you, but I'm not referring to emotions either. We are constantly asking ourselves, "Is it better for me to choose Jesus, or evil?" As the overly confident Christians we are, that is if you too are a follower of Christ, we like to think that we almost always choose the first option and very rarely choose the latter, but that is not the case.
In order for us to truly grasp how evil and imperfect we are, we need to look at our standard of perfection through a different lens. Instead of looking at sin as a wrongful action, we have to look at sin as an imperfect mindset. And by imperfect, I truly mean that by its literary definition - not up to par of perfection. This means that even if one minuscule detail, even unnoticeable to the untrained eye, even has room for growth, let alone is purely evil, that is imperfection and thusforth sin. Every ungodly thought that lingers in our mind, Godly thought that we don’t think, ungodly word said, Godly word unsaid, etc., is sin. Scary right? Yes, we sin almost continuously throughout our lives. Sin is ANY substandardness when the standard is Jesus, and Jesus is perfection.
So, I hope that if it wasn't before, it is pretty clear now that self-achieved righteousness is completely and utterly insurmountable. But if God calls us to live righteous lives as born-again followers of Christ, how is that reasonable? It's not. Not for us at least, but it is for Jesus. That's where relationship comes into play, and why we truly can't live without it. Our perspectives as children of Christ should not be focused on sin. It should not be focused on our own righteousness, as this is not what God has planned for us. This is truly what letting go and letting God means. When our perspective is focused on sin and our own pursuit of righteousness, we are inherently living by our own power even when it’s not our intention.
This is what I have fallen into, and probably why I struggled with my most difficult battle for as long as I did. Ironically, this was true even with the knowledge of this reality. The issue was that I didn’t understand the concept enough to put it into practice.
Unfortunately, a large portion of church culture has pretended that this way of life is easy to accomplish. This is far from the truth; it is extremely difficult, but is what God has called us to do. And our God is a gracious God. Our job as Christ followers is to focus on our relationship with Jesus and our relationships with others. We are not to focus on our sin. This DOES NOT mean we do not acknowledge sin or strive to get rid of it, it means we do not stress over it. It means we do not allow it to control us, because we are now set free. That is the gospel. The enemy cannot make us do anything. He truly can't. Every conscious sinful decision that we make is directly from ourselves. The enemy simply makes that choice as appealing as he possibly can, and this is where our mindset can fluctuate. The more you mature and strengthen your relationship with Christ, the less mental fluctuation you have.
We are called to be steadfast, consistent, and disciplined. Again, this isn't easy, in fact, it's impossible. But Jesus has a couple of things to say about that. For it is written, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13. Also, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4.
Our job as Christ followers is to get as close as possible to who Jesus is, not because we have to, not because we can, but because we love Him. Until the process of sanctification is complete, we will not reach this, but because of God's grace through Jesus' sacrifice, we don't have to, because He paid the price of our shortcomings. When the Father looks at us, He sees Jesus. He sees perfection. That is why He is able to accept us. That is why we are able to come to Him with full confidence. This is easier said than done, trust me I know, but this reality never changes.
Over the course of my adolescent life, I underwent a journey of revelation as to the “why” of this world, of which entailed exposure to a vast variety of experiences from a vast variety of perspectives. This journey truly began before I was even born; in the mind of my creator. My entire life, every day, second, hour, served an intentional purpose. But it wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I began to understand what that purpose was; the “why” as to my personal experiences and what I bore witness to. After truly giving my life to Jesus during my sophomore year of high school and embarking on a tumultuous yet incredible road in my own personal faith, I began to record my revelatory journey with God through journaling and writing.
In this book I will discuss with you the experiences along my own pockmarked road, what I’ve noticed, what I’ve learned, and how God has used those experiences to change my perspective on life. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I trust in God’s wisdom to use this how He sees best.
- Wes
