Chapter 1: The way he looked at me
It was supposed to be just another ordinary day in Kim Sinu’s life.
But nothing about it felt ordinary.
At twenty-one, standing at the beginning of her second degree, Sinu found herself walking through unfamiliar corridors once again—as if life had quietly given her another chance she wasn’t sure she was ready for.
She carried herself simply. Long black hair fell neatly down her back, sometimes tied when it became inconvenient. Her style was minimal, often leaning toward formal—clean, composed, and effortless in a way that never tried too hard. She didn’t know much about makeup, nor did she spend time worrying about it.
Not because she didn’t care, but because she never quite knew where to begin.
Still, there was something about her that stayed. When she smiled, a soft dimple appeared—gentle and fleeting, almost like a secret.
Sinu was kind. She spoke gently, treated everyone with warmth, and found it easy to be friendly with people around her. But she wasn’t fragile. There was a quiet boldness in her—an unspoken strength. She knew how to draw boundaries, how to handle situations, how to stand her ground without losing herself.
And yet, standing among girls who seemed effortlessly confident, Sinu still felt out of place. As if she existed just outside the frame—present, but never the focus.
That morning, during the induction program, that feeling settled deeper.
At twenty-one, she thought she would feel more certain. More confident. More… complete.
Instead, she felt like she was falling behind in her own life.
That day, Kim Sinu entered college feeling completely lost.
But slowly, things began to change.
She found Lily.
Lily was everything Sinu wasn’t—bright, expressive, and impossible to overlook. With her short brown hair, cat-eye glasses, and effortless western style, she stood out naturally. Coming from London, she carried a certain confidence, her curiosity always alive—especially when it came to Korean culture, which she loved deeply.
But more than anything, she was warm.
What started as small conversations slowly turned into something comforting. Their classes would often end early, and instead of going home, they built their own routine—wandering through the mall, trying random food, talking about everything and nothing.
Somewhere between those quiet moments, Sinu began to feel less alone.
Days passed like that.
Until one afternoon, something changed.
They were sitting in the mall, talking casually, when a boy approached them.
“Excuse me… can I ask you something?”
His voice was hesitant. He mentioned it was a dare.
Sinu nodded lightly. “Go ahead.”
She assumed he would ask Lily—because people usually noticed Lily first.
But he didn’t.
He pointed at Sinu.
For a moment, she froze.
“Are you single… or committed?”
There was nothing special about the question, and yet something about the way he looked at her made her pause.
“Single,” she replied softly.
“Okay, thank you.”
And just like that, he walked away.
It should have meant nothing.
And yet, it didn’t feel like nothing.
The next day, she saw him again—at a small store. She had gone to pick up a chocolate, only to find him already there, reaching for the same one. She stepped back, pretending not to notice him, waiting until he left before moving forward.
But as she stood at the counter, she felt it.
That quiet, unmistakable feeling of being watched.
She didn’t turn around.
But she knew.
After that, it became a pattern. Every day, as she and Lily waited for the bus, he would pass by with his friends. And no matter how crowded it was, his eyes would always find hers.
And the moment they did, he would look away.
Not hurriedly. Not awkwardly.
Just… gently.
It was only after days of this silence that Sinu truly began to notice him.
He stood taller than most, easy to recognize even in a crowd. Brown hair fell softly over his forehead, framing a face that was both gentle and striking. His lips carried a soft pink tint, and when he smiled, there was something slightly sharp about it—just enough to make it unforgettable.
But it was his eyes that stayed—bright, clear, almost like they held light within them. The kind of gaze that lingered.
He dressed simply—a black t-shirt, beige pants, a dark watch resting against his wrist. Everything about him felt effortless.
And somehow, that made him impossible to ignore.
Maybe it was just attraction.
But reality stepped in.
She was twenty-one.
And if this was his first year, he must be younger.
That thought should have ended everything.
But it didn’t.
One day, as they stood waiting for the bus, Lily leaned closer and whispered, “You know he’s always looking at you, right?”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I’m not. Out of everyone here… it’s always you.”
Sinu didn’t reply.
“I think he likes you.”
Those words stayed.
But something else changed too.
Lily started noticing him more.
And for some reason, Sinu didn’t like it.
The feeling came quietly.
Jealousy.
It didn’t make sense.
So why did it feel like something was slipping away… before it even began?
Meanwhile, he kept watching her.
From a distance.
As always.
Then one day, Lily wasn’t there.
The campus felt different without her.
Sinu sat under a tree, talking softly to her mother on the phone. Nearby, an older man left in a hurry, leaving behind his wallet.
She picked it up, looked around, and ended the call.
And as she walked forward, she stopped.
He was standing right in front of her.
For a moment, everything went still.
His eyes met hers—steady, as if he had been waiting.
Her breath caught.
It felt like he was about to say something.
But she couldn’t stay.
She turned away.
“Excuse me… did you see an uncle around here?” she asked his friend.
He guided her, but before that, she found the man and returned the wallet.
“Thank you,” he said.
And just like that, it ended.
But not really.
As she walked away, regret followed.
Why didn’t I talk to him?
What must he think about me?
For the first time—
the distance between them didn’t feel safe anymore.
It felt unbearable.
