I'm Definitely Dreaming... Right?
Eight years…
I gave him eight years of my life.
If I had ever imagined this situation, I would’ve thought I’d scream.
Cry.
Break something.
But I didn’t.
I just… walked away.
No shouting.
No tears.
Nothing.
Eight years, and suddenly he’s in love with his colleague.
Just like that… like handing me a notice.
You are no longer needed.
…
Let it be.
…
“Give me the bottle of wine… and the ice cream,” I said, placing the money on the counter.
The cashier didn’t even look up.
It was already dark outside.
The silence in my apartment felt… perfect.
Perfect for a glass of wine.
And denial.
I let out a quiet breath as I set everything down.
“Oh… what the hell.”
Tomorrow is Saturday.
I’m drinking the whole bottle.
I turned on the TV.
In the dark, the flashing lights made the whole room feel like some kind of club.
Perfect.
Ice cream in my hand.
Sofa.
TV.
A half-empty bottle of wine.
I stared at it for a second.
“…I don’t need a glass.”
I took a sip straight from the bottle.
Let it be bitter.
Maybe it’ll break this knot in my throat.
Some kind of drama was playing.
Of course.
Unrequited love.
I let out a quiet scoff.
“Who writes this shit?”
I found myself shouting at the screen, mouth full of ice cream.
“Yes… go, girl."
I pointed lazily at the TV.
“He’s totally worth it.”
“Jeni and Kai… a match made in heaven.”
I let out a quiet, bitter laugh.
“Except he’s a jerk… who’s going to fall in love with his colleague in a few years.”
The room started to spin.
I pressed a hand to my forehead, closing my eyes.
“…great.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“Go on…” I muttered, my voice low, almost amused.
“Throw it all away.”
I stared at the screen, my vision slightly blurred.
“Eight years of your life… for your Kai.”
......
“Jeni!”
My head throbbed, like I’d been hit by an asteroid.
“Jeni, you’re going to be late for school!”
I frowned, still half-asleep.
What…?
I live alone.
I pressed a hand to my forehead.
I’m not used to drinking… am I hallucinating?
“Jeni! Answer me when I’m calling you!”
The voice was louder this time.
I opened my eyes abruptly, pushing myself up.
“…no.”
This wasn’t my room.
The walls.
The furniture.
Even the clothes, nothing was mine.
My breath caught.
“I’m not dreaming…”
I couldn’t recall last night at all.
Did I go out drunk and end up in someone else’s house?
No… that’s not possible.
…is it?
And why is she talking about school?
I looked around the room again.
It definitely belonged to someone younger.
A school uniform hung neatly on a hanger.
What the hell did I do last night?
I grabbed my head, trying to force the memories back.
Think.
Think.
…
Wait.
My hair…
It didn’t feel like mine.
My face...
that didn’t feel like mine either.
Wait a minute… why is my body different?
What the hell is going on?
Now I was fully awake.
Or at least… I thought I was.
Was I?
God damn it… I’m never drinking again.
The room was spinning.
Then that woman called again.
“Jeni!”
Who the hell is Jeni?
I don’t know anyone named Jeni.
I took a deep breath and stood up, walking toward the door,
and then I caught my reflection in the mirror.
And I froze.
The reflection staring back at me wasn’t mine.
…
My jaw dropped.
“What kind of messed up dream is this…?”
That’s Jeni.
Jeni from the drama last night.
I let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh.
No… no… this is so messed up.
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the reflection.
I’m certainly never drinking again...
I just sat there, waiting to wake up.
That should happen…
Any second now.
Any moment…
But no matter how long I waited…
I was still there.
Still sitting.
Still staring at Jeni in the mirror.
There has to be some kind of explanation.
Alcohol… maybe.
I know I passed out last night.
I pinched my cheeks a few times.
“Wake up, Annie…”
Nothing.
“…maybe it’s alcohol poisoning.”
A sudden wave of panic hit me.
“Oh my God…”
“I’m alone in my apartment… what if I’m…”
I cut myself off, my chest tightening.
“…what if I’m dying?”
I slapped my face.
Once.
Twice.
“Wake up.”
Still nothing.
“Jeni… are you alright?”
The voice sounded worried this time.
“I’m alright!” I shouted back, squeezing my eyes shut in panic.
“Okay… this is not funny anymore.”
Everything felt… real.
Too real.
I was fully aware of myself.
Something like this… I had only seen in dramas and movies.
Is it actually possible that I’m not dreaming?
And somehow I ended up as Jeni… in a drama?
To pay off some kind of karmic debt?
Not that I believe in that stuff…
…but still.
I’m not crazy, right?
.....
God, that woman was persistent.
I didn’t really have a choice.
I was still… Jeni.
And let’s just say this is a dream...
I’ll wake up at some point.
I have to.
I got dressed and brushed my teeth, mostly because she kept shouting louder with every second, and my head was killing me.
I gathered my hair into a loose bun, grabbed the backpack from the desk, and headed for the door.
Then I paused.
A milkshake sat on the table.
With a sticky note.
For Kai.
“For Kai?”
Oh… right. Kai.
The guy Jeni was secretly in love with.
Yeah… I’m not bringing anything to anyone’s Kai.
I stared at the note for a second.
Then crumpled it in my hand.
I tossed both the note and the milkshake into the trash.
Walking down the stairs, I felt dizzy.
“Jeni… breakfast is ready.”
Is that Jeni’s mother?
What am I supposed to do now?
I don’t know anything… about anything.
And waking up is clearly not happening.
She didn’t even look at me.
Good.
“I’m not hungry… I’m going to be late,” I said quickly, trying to slip past her and get out of the house.
Almost.
“Oh… you changed your hairstyle?”
She stopped me.
I froze.
“It looks nice,” she added, finally looking at me properly.
“But you still need to eat before school.”
Of course I do.
Why would this be simple?
Let’s make it even more complicated.
“Why are you so pale…? Is everything alright?”
Her eyes widened as she pressed her hand against my forehead.
“You’re not hot…”
It seemed like I didn’t even need to say anything.
She was already talking to herself.
My head was pounding, and I still felt like I was going to throw up.
…maybe that’s it.
If I throw up, I’ll wake up.
Because this… this isn’t normal.
I stood there in the kitchen, dressed in a school uniform, staring at the worried face of a woman who was supposed to be my mother.
“I studied late last night… I’ll be alright.”
I tried to act normal, no matter how weird this was.
“I’ll eat something at school,” I added, already heading for the door,
before she could stop me again.
I stepped outside.
Then it hit me.
What the hell am I doing?
Am I actually going to school?
I’ve watched so many dramas...reincarnation, teleportation… all of it.
But this?
Even going crazy sounds like a better option than accepting this is actually happening.
Yeah… I’m losing it.
That’s it.
My head was spinning.
Should I sit somewhere and cry?
Scream?
Anything should work right now.
“Jeni!”
The voice startled me.
I turned around
and froze for a second.
I recognized them.
Jeni’s friends.
From the drama.
The two of them walked toward me, smiling, completely normal.
Right.
Those two.
The ones who kept hyping Jeni up to go after Kai.
Great.
This is getting better and better.
And it’s so…
FREAKING REAL.
I gave a small wave, forcing a smile.
Do I actually have to go to school now?
“Oh my God!” one of them shouted as they got closer.
“Did you see Kai’s story last night?”
“Why are you even asking, Jisu? Of course she did.”
Jisu?
I remember their faces… but that’s it.
The last thing I remember is me shouting at the TV last night…
some parts of the drama…
me getting angry at Jeni for no reason.
Oh my God…
How is this even possible?
…
Okay.
Let’s just go with the teleportation thing for now.
I don’t have any better explanation.
Before I could even answer, Jisu was already reciting Kai’s story like it was something sacred.
“Not everyone gets to stay by my side… only the one who endures.”
She lifted her head, looking at the sky like she had just read the most beautiful poetry in the world.
“I’m sure he was thinking of you, Jeni… you’re so persistent.”
“Yeah… and he’s the center of the universe,” I muttered under my breath, searching for the phone to see the masterpiece behind those words.
God… I was so angry at Kai.
Actually,
at every “Kai” in this world.
“What did you bring him today?”
Before I could even react, both of them leaned in, digging through my backpack like they were searching for some kind of trophy for him.
“Nothing,” I said suddenly.
They froze.
“I studied late, so I forgot…”
I tried to say it casually, like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Oh, Jeni… how could you?” they said at the same time, completely stunned.
“You know Yuri is chasing him too… what if he chooses her?”
“Oh no… that would be the end of the world,” I said, completely sarcastic.
I didn’t even know who Yuri was.
And the fact that she was chasing him didn’t bother me at all.
They took it seriously.
Seriously?
“Right… you need to be careful, Jeni. Every girl in school wants to be with him, and you’re so close,” they said, completely overreacting.
Do I actually have to be careful not to hurt their feelings…
over something I don’t even care about?
So messed up.
“It’s good you changed your hairstyle… you look beautiful. Right, Ani?” Jisu turned her head toward her.
“Yes… you look great,” she added with a smile.
…so Jisu and Ani.
Jeni’s overly supportive best friends.
I felt a strange sense of guilt.
I didn’t know where the real Jeni was.
And I didn’t know why I was here.
…or was I here?
At this point, I should’ve already woken up.
But this just… keeps going.
On and on.
Oh my God.
This is really starting to get on my nerves.
…
Fine.
I’ll just accept it.
Whatever this is,
it’s actually happening.
Great… I’m Jeni.
Let’s see where this is going, and what the point even is.
As we walked toward the school, I couldn’t help but find those two… oddly amusing.
Jisu and Ani.
Big talkers.
And even bigger supporters.
They could always find light at the end of the tunnel…
and an explanation for every single thing Kai did.
But from what I saw in the drama…
Kai was an egocentric bastard.
He made fun of Jeni with his friends…
and gave away her presents because he didn’t want them.
Someone had written his character very “well.”
Handsome.
Tall.
Black hair.
Sharp jaw.
The center of the universe.
…
But isn’t that what every man thinks about himself?
As we walked into the school courtyard, I felt… strange.
It had been a long time since I was in high school.
Too long.
Everything felt so real.
For a moment, it actually scared me.
I didn’t know what to do.
I barely remembered what it was like...
the classes, the subjects, the teachers…
School had never been the happiest time of my life.
And now it seemed like I had to go through all of it again.
I felt like I could curl up somewhere in a corner and just cry until I woke up from this nightmare.
“What is it, Jeni?” Ani asked, pulling me into a hug.
“Don’t worry… Yuri isn’t half as beautiful as you.”
Oh dear, Ani…
Yuri is the last thing on my mind right now.
But how could she possibly know that?
I glanced across the courtyard.
Kai was sitting at a table, surrounded by his friends.
So that’s Yuri.
Actually…
she was beautiful.
Taller than Jeni.
Long black hair.
Pale skin.
Perfect features.
Actually…
a perfect match for Kai.
“Oh… it doesn’t matter,” I said quietly.
“I’m not feeling well… I think I’ll go to the classroom.”
“Oh… my poor baby,” Jisu said, kissing my cheek.
“I told you… she’s all over him lately,” she added, pouting.
“But don’t worry… he’ll get bored soon.”
For a moment, I was glad the real Jeni wasn’t here to see this.
To witness it.
And I couldn’t help but wonder…
who was writing this masterpiece...and why?
From the corner of my eye, I saw Kai glance at me,-at Jeni.
Of course he did.
He looked like someone who knew exactly what effect he had on people.
I was sure he liked the attention.
Sitting there like some crowned prince, completely aware of every look directed his way.
I knew he was expecting me to go to his locker.
Just like Jeni always did.
And certainly every other girl who wanted his attention.
To leave
another offering for the prince.
And then he’d just choose whoever he wanted…
from the same delusional crowd.
Because, of course...
he’s the standard.
“Standard? My ass…”
I’ve been there already.
And it’s nothing special.
I walked into the school, and if I’m forced to be here,
then at least I won’t choose the same thing all over again.
Luckily.
As I walked past the lockers, I felt dizzy again.
This time, it hit harder.
A sudden, sharp noise echoed inside my head, sending chills down my spine as my vision blurred.
The sound of scraping chairs grew louder and louder, overlapping with everything else until it became unbearable.
I couldn’t catch my breath.
For a moment, everything froze.
And just when I thought this couldn’t get any weirder…
Oh.
Yes.
It can.
