Chapter 1
The city never slowed down. From the balcony, it looked like a living thing—headlights streaming endlessly, people moving with purpose, time slipping through every second without pause. She stood there quietly, fingers wrapped around a glass, watching it all like she didn’t quite belong to it anymore.
The night air was cool, but her thoughts were heavier.
“You know…” she finally said, her voice soft, almost lost in the noise below, “life changes in a snap. One moment you’re so sure of who you are… and the next, you don’t even recognize yourself.”
Beside her, her friend -Cynthia leaned against the railing, silent, giving her the kind of attention that didn’t interrupt—just held space.
“I used to think I had it all figured out,” she continued, a faint, tired smile forming. “I was focused. Studies, goals… I even used to pray that I’d never fall in love. I thought it would only complicate things.”
She let out a quiet breath, eyes still fixed on the moving world beneath.
“And then… something shifts. Not all at once. Just slowly enough that you don’t notice it happening.” Her grip tightened around the glass. “You start feeling lonely… even when you’re surrounded by people. Like you’re there, but not really seen.”
Her voice lowered.
“It’s a strange kind of drowning. You’re gasping, but no one notices… so you start looking for someone—anyone—to be your life jacket.”
A pause. A long one.
“That night…” she swallowed, her voice trembling now, “I had nobody. It was just me… against everything in my head. I kept looking around, hoping someone would just… hold me together.” She let out a broken laugh. “But how do you expect someone else to save you when you can’t even save yourself?”
The city lights blurred slightly as her eyes filled.
“So I started looking for that feeling in people,” she went on, quieter now. “Comfort. Validation. Anything that made me feel less alone.” She shook her head faintly. “And I met all kinds of people… some saw flaws in me I never noticed… some called me beautiful like I was something rare.”
She finally turned her head, looking at her friend—eyes glossy, searching.
“And I believed all of them.”
Her voice cracked.
“The funny thing is… I used to love myself. I really did. I never needed anyone to tell me I was enough. I saw beauty in my flaws… I protected myself from words like that.”
A tear slipped down, unnoticed.
“But then… I wanted to be chosen. So badly.” Her lips trembled. “And their words… they started to matter more than mine.”
The glass in her hand shook slightly.
“I started thinking maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m not enough. Maybe there is something wrong with me.” She inhaled sharply. “And I kept talking to different people… hoping someone would finally tell me I wasn’t the problem. That my side of the story mattered.”
Her breathing grew uneven.
“But no one stayed long enough to prove it.”
The world around her seemed to spin, the lights below stretching and blending.
“And somewhere in all that…” her voice dropped to a whisper, “I lost myself.”
Her body swayed slightly.
Before she could steady herself, the glass tilted—
“Hey—!” Cynthia rushed forward, grabbing her arm, panic instantly replacing the quiet. “Stay with me—look at me!”
Her head felt light, her vision dimming at the edges.
“Please… don’t do this, stay—” cynthia voice broke, holding her firmly now, fear evident in every word.
For a moment, everything felt distant. The noise, the lights, the world—
And then slowly… she blinked.
Still there.
Not gone. Just… barely holding on.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for tonight.
