What is your opinion?
Wolf
"This is pretty good. We’ll see "
Nice work!
"This story is really captivating! I’m 7 chapters in and already super curious about the lore and where everything is heading. The characters feel interesting and emotionally real, and the world itself definitely feels lived in. There’s clearly a lot of thought behind the atmosphere and story structure. My main critique is mostly with the prose itself. While the story and ideas are strong, I did have a bit of trouble reading at times because there are frequent switches between past and present tense. I also noticed moments where descriptions are stated very directly when they could feel even stronger if woven more naturally into the narration or character perspective. For example, instead of fully describing a character’s appearance the moment they appear, you could reveal details gradually through another character’s POV. Something like: “A girl stood near the edge of the crowd, sandy blonde hair catching the light. Something about her pulled me in immediately. Maybe it was her eyes — that strange color that made it impossible to look away.” That approach can make descriptions feel more immersive and emotionally connected to the scene instead of reading like a list of traits. Overall though, you’re doing an amazing job creating an interesting, cohesive world that’s easy to visualize. The story genuinely kept my attention! Keep up the great work!"
