Chapter 1
" THE JOURNEY "
Have you ever tried to fit your entire life into a single suitcase and set off on a journey to the unknown?
I have.
I slightly rolled down the car window. We were crossing the bridge. I took a deep breath facing the mesmerizing view of the Bosphorus. I leaned my head out a little more. The salty and cool air of the sea was hitting my face. The waves were a bit rougher today. The seagulls were circling above me as if they knew I was leaving.
Istanbul was saying goodbye to me… but was I ready? I didn’t know.
As we got closer to the airport, the sadness inside me became unbearable. A new and unknown path was waiting for me. Everyone seemed happy… except me.
I walked forward with my suitcase. I had fit my sixteen years of life into a single suitcase. I don’t even know how I did it. But somehow, I did.
I took one last look at what I was leaving behind. The ones who brought me to the airport were my biggest supporter, my teacher, and her spouse. They were my wings. They had always supported me and protected me. They were like a mother and a father to me.
Holding back my tears, I kept walking. Storms were raging inside me, but everything outside was calm. Everything seemed fine… but it wasn’t.
I was leaving my childhood and the city I was born in behind. My first loves, my first meetings, the trips I took with my friends… I was leaving countless good and bad memories there.
And now, I had neither those loves nor those friends anymore. They were all gone.
I was leaving… without fully knowing where I was going, carrying my heartbreaks with me.
I got in line for passport control. I moved forward with slow steps. The officer looked at my passport, then at me.
“Are you okay?” he said. “You look a bit tired.”
I lifted my head. Did I really look that bad?
“I’m fine… I just got out of exam week,” I said.
He handed my passport back. In a few minutes, I would be boarding the plane.
For the first time in my life, I was going abroad alone. I felt like a bird that had lost its way.
If it were the old me, I wouldn’t be afraid. I would be unable to stay still from excitement.
But now?
What had happened to me?
The plane took off. I was above the clouds… but there was still a dark weight inside me.
Korea…
A place I had wanted to go since I was a child.
But why wasn’t I excited at all?
Because I wasn’t just going somewhere…
I was running away.
But why?
To understand that…
I need to go back to the very beginning.
