Prologue
"Babe, listen." He mumbled making my blood boil. I fold my arms and look at him as if he is prey.
"No, you listen you have no right calling me babe. No right at all!" I can't believe he wants to get rid of me like this. There was no other choice but to shout and I never yelled or raised my voice at him.
"When I get everything together, I will come back." He exclaims, trying to walk over and hold me. I started digging through my drawers looking for any and everything he ever gave to me.
"I will not be waiting around for you, I get that you are incredibly smart, but to leave me here with them," I explain making him flinch. My dad isn't the most welcoming person, he is a professor at our local community college. This means he works his ass off, comes home tired, and might as well not exist in this family. My mom, on the other hand, lives in California and has a hallmark movie romance with her new husband Robert. That is about it, she lives her life avoiding the mistake she made with her professor.
I'd live with my mom, but she is unstable, she may be a great friend but it was her choice to leave. Robert is her fifth marriage and I have always sworn I will only get married once.
"You have Kayla your best friend and Max your little brother." He explains trying to reach for me, but I stepped out of his grasp. Tears start to fall, no I want him, I am in love with him.
I haven't told him yet, but if I do now then it will make it worse. I can't tell him now, I can't give him something that is already his. He knows I love him we have said it a few times before, but saying it now makes me seem desperate. I am in love with this man and all he can think about is leaving.
What if I tell him and he still goes? I could pour my whole heart out on the floor and like a puddle he would stomp on it.
"Just go, you are going to do it anyway." I turn away from him. There is no way in hell he will stay. Knowing this now, makes my heartache and stomach hurt.
He walked out and I heard our front door slam. That is when I broke, I chucked my school books at the wall. I screamed and cried, my heart shattering into insignificant slivers of torment. He is going to be in New York City for his job. Thousands of miles away. We have been together for three years. We even lived together or at least we used to live together. He will be getting his stuff and going without me.
I am so proud he has this opportunity, but he won't let me come with him. He said he didn't want me to leave my friends and family for him.

As soon as he took everything of his, I was so crushed. He was gone, my heart was broken and at this time, I don't remember much.
I went to school, worked, and studied it was like being in a constant sleep mode. I ignored the flames inside me until they finally burned down my walls. I could see the stuff around me but the depression. The episode I was in was like a thick cloud above my head and life. My friends became extremely worried, and they took me to a therapist. I saw her a few times a week for a month and she said my hormones were out of whack. I hadn't noticed my period gone for so long. I didn't care about myself again until a test came back.
I remember sitting in her office, she bought a few over-the-counter tests. My depression was intense it escalated to a higher level due to being pregnant. I didn't want to believe I was pregnant. The only guy I had ever been with, that way left. He wasn't taking my calls or texts I even emailed him.
Nothing.
When I told my dad he wasn't very happy, he said I was throwing my life away. He claimed he knew someone who could take care of it. That is when all the anger poured out and I lost it.
I haven't spoken to him in years, not since Andre was born. I moved away with my best friends. I didn't move that far away, but I distanced myself from his mother's house. I finished college and got a job doing what I love. It has been good, what doesn't help is that he is a mini version of his father.
The only thing he has from me is maybe my hair. These days, I can't buy a business magazine anymore, since he is now one of the most eligible bachelors in New York. I have sent him a few letters about our son, but nothing comes back. I was hoping he would come and visit his mom, but instead, they flew out to him.
Being a single mother is difficult but at the same time rewarding. I am lucky to be an assistant teacher and freelance editor. It puts the roof over our heads and keeps food in our pantry.
Andre is an amazing kid, he brings me so much joy. I have raised him in the ways I was never raised, we go to church every Sunday. We do charity a lot, to help the church every year. I even helped run the Christmas play.
When Andre was a baby he played baby Jesus, now this year he wants to be one of the wise men. He wants a beard like his uncle John's which is Kayla's my best friend's fiance. Oh, those two are troublemakers when it comes to Andre. She for some reason hates the word no, and whenever they go out she practically buys the toy store. When John gets him, he does one thing that always pisses me off. He gives a 3-year-old sugar.
He comes home from a day with them with crazy new toys and a sugar high. My mom moved back here when she found out about everything, after her fifth divorce I think she is done with men.
A few years back I was in New York for business and was in the same city as him and I could probably find him, but I was too scared. It wasn't that long after I had Andre too. I was insecure because of the weight gained during my pregnancy. I got big even though Andre was average size for a baby. I have always been slim so when I got a bit bigger I felt so insecure.
His mom Dorothy would have already been gone to see him.
His mom hasn't booked a flight yet, so I have a feeling he will be home this year. For years he has avoided me, every call, email, etc was never replied to.
He is going to waltz into town and I am going to be like,
hi, guess what one of your sperm cells was the fastest swimmer! We have a son.
Oh no, what if he fights for custody or tries to? I told him, I wouldn't be waiting for him, but here I am a single mom who works two jobs.
"Jen, he is on the next flight here," Kayla shouts waving her hands in front of my face pulling me out of my daydream. She works at the airport and runs the logs. I have been regretting this day.
"We will do everything to ignore that man and if he asks, this is your kid," I say in between biting my nails.
"Deal," she says and we shake hands.
"He had to ruin Thanksgiving dinner to come here. Hopefully, he doesn't come looking for me." I say, elbows now in my lap as I look at the ground. My stomach is so full from all the food we just devoured.
