Chapter 1
I had just turned twenty, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was standing on the edge of something new. High school was behind me — no more alarms, no more crowded hallways, no more pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. Just… space. Space to breathe. Space to figure out who I am now.
It was 2019, and I’d decided to start the year with something I’d never done before: a road trip to Yosemite with my friends. A few of Chase’s old friends came too — the ones who still talked to him occasionally, though not nearly as much after everything that happened between us. They knew the story. Everyone did. It was impossible to forget.
It had been a few years since the breakup, and I was grateful I’d gotten out when I did. Blocking him and Evelyn was the best decision I’d ever made. Back then, at seventeen, eighteen, I was a mess — a version of myself I barely recognized now. I’d given too much, lost too much, tried too hard to hold onto someone who wasn’t holding onto me.
Now, at twenty, I am better. Not perfect. Not healed all the way. But better. Even if a small part of me still carried unresolved feelings — the kind that lingered like old photographs tucked in the back of a drawer. I was learning to dim those memories, to let them fade instead of letting them define me.
Yosemite was nothing like I expected. I wasn’t an outdoorsy person — I’d complained about the idea of camping when Brianna first suggested it — but being here changed something in me. The air felt cleaner. The sky looked bigger. The world felt quieter in a way I didn’t know I needed.
We explored trails, took photos, filmed silly videos, and let ourselves be twenty — messy, loud, free.
Angela walked beside me as we followed a path lined with tall pines. “Hey,” she said softly, “how are you doing?”
I exhaled. “Honestly? Part of me still has feelings for Chase. I hate admitting that. But being here with you guys… it’s helping. I’m trying to stay present. Trying not to think about him, even though it’s been years.”
She nudged my shoulder. “Don’t worry about Chase. He’s out of the picture. You’re here with us. We wanted this trip for you too — so you could get away, breathe, and focus on your happiness.”
I smiled at her. “I appreciate you guys. You’re right. I need to forget him. Delete the memories. Whatever it takes.”
“You deserve better than what he gave you,” she said simply.
We kept walking, letting the quiet fill the spaces where old pain used to live.
By 3 p.m., the sun was still bright, but the heat wasn’t unbearable. Everyone was scattered around the area — some near the cabins, some by the trees, some taking pictures. I sat in the open trunk of the car, legs dangling, letting the breeze cool my skin.
Finn spotted me and walked over, hands in his pockets. “Hey Lola. What’s up?”
“Not much,” I said. “Just taking it all in.”
He leaned against the car. “This place is cool. How are you, though? Really.”
I hesitated. “Better. It’s been a while since the breakup, and part of me still has leftover feelings… but another part of me doesn’t anymore. Not after everything, he and Evelyn put me through. I blocked them both everywhere.”
Finn nodded, listening closely. “Yeah… that whole situation was unforgettable. But look at you now. You graduated. You survived the breakup even when it felt impossible. You’re pushing yourself to move on instead of sulking in a dark room with sad music playing.”
I laughed. “Okay, fair. I made mistakes, too. I said yes to an open relationship without realizing he’d drag her into it. Then my ex wanted to be part of it and I said no — thank God. I ignored so many red flags trying to make things work with Chase. And in the end, he chose that bratty girl.”
“Lola,” Finn said gently, “we all make mistakes. That’s how we learn. You grew from it. You understand where things went wrong. He didn’t communicate. He hid things. He pretended everything was fine when it wasn’t. You get the point.”
“I do,” I said quietly. “And you’re not wrong. I’m just glad it’s in the past.”
There was a pause — a soft, charged one — and then Finn leaned in slightly, like he might kiss me.
I leaned in too… then stopped.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m just not ready for another relationship. I fall fast when I feel chemistry, but I’m not there yet.”
He pulled back immediately. “Oh — I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rush anything.”
I felt a pang of guilt. “No, it’s okay. I do like you, Finn. I really do. But I want to be completely over Chase before I start anything new. I don’t want to drag old chains into something that could be good. And… dating one of Chase’s friends feels a little awkward.”
“Maybe at first,” he said softly. “But I promise it’ll be okay. I barely talk to him anymore.”
I thought about it. “We can talk more later.”
“Okay,” he said with a small smile. “I won’t forget.”
We walked back to join the others.
As the sun dipped behind the mountains, we grabbed our bags and headed toward the cabin. Everyone settled into their rooms, changing into comfortable clothes, laughing, talking, unwinding.
I slipped into my room, closed the door, and let the quiet settle around me.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be.
And maybe — just maybe — this trip would be the beginning of something new.
