Chapter 1
The back and forth,side to side motion of the bus caused by the uneven terrain a contrast to the smooth terrain that we just left signalled the journey was ending and soon.The beaten path was bumpy and dirt floated all around us and with windows jammed you risked breathing it in ending in a coughing fit that hackled your throat but then no one cared afterall we brought ourselves in this situation.The scorching sun added to the stuffiness of the already stuffy bus with fifty passengers.I eyed my one small alloted bottle of water to find it empty and then my neighbours which was crumpled and thrown at the foot of his feet.The silence was deafening and every cough and shuffle echoed all around us accompanied by the howling wind.A damned rhythm.The bus's creen to the side woke the cluster of murmurs ,maybe they knew each other.Wouldn’t that be just perfect ,the bus rolling over a couple times and we would succumb to our injuries with no help coming and die a slow agonizing death,a preferable way to die,if you ask me.Friendship.Or any fucked up kind you could form where we were going. That's advised where we were going.Scatch my back and I yours kind of friendship. Loneliness is a bitch.You got preyed on at least that's what i was told.”You need friends ,earn them” “Why?”i had asked but got no answer.Maybe i should have asked the pressing question.”How?” Because the “why” question didn't matter, it was becoming very clear to me.I needed them.But a very hard thing for me,making friends and ensuring they lasted. My interactions with people ended after a curt ,hello and then the awkward silence followed but I liked the thought of others trying to come up with words and failing.Their internal struggle that made their hands clammy , shifting from foot to foot shooting me nervous gazes every now and then.The silence was untenable.So maybe he could have given me some tips but it didn't cross my head that being the first conversation I had with a stranger that lasted for more than a couple of seconds.I considered it a win though the setting could have been better.It would explain why I had yet to utter a word after our nod of the head of hello with my neighbor after taking our seats earlier the day.But he wasn't all that forthcoming to talk to me either.So the ball was neither at our courts. “You need to smile more or at atleast try to ,you're like a stone , always brooding" Sara ,my sister had said after our neighbor had scurried away to the safety of his house after asking my sister to a party and i had approached them and on seeing me approaching from where i was observing their interaction he had stammered his excuses and ran.I was not sorry.It was good they feared me.Sara was all i had left noone was going to hurt her.But i always fail.I failed.Others kept their quiet ,chins on their chest maybe they had yet to process or they had already welcomed their fate.I had yet to process. It's all happening very fast ,now it was the final nail to my coffin that stuck out from the susceptible place with nothing for miles from what I was told and now confirming.The rooming structure was unparalleled from its surroundings.
The high metal bar gates opened and we were waved through . I had anticipated it,but when the screech of brakes reached my ears ,my heart still leapt into my throat. This was it the one thing I didn't plan, I have to get used it and effortlessly adapt just like it was another thing.It was what I expected from myself.But I was scared and afraid of entering that building but the line to get out of the bus kept moving forward and finally it was my turn to get out.The chain around my ankles made walking difficult,the guy behind me had tripped on his feet pummeling face first to the asphalt that led to a chain of people tripping over each other ,that led to shouts of warnings from our herders ,the force of the chains been yanked back threatened to bring me down with them but I held out,barely.”Zombie walking is the trick”I was told.The line shuffled forward taking turns that felt like forever ,the element of confusion on point, nerve wracking,sounds of gravel and occasional shouts of warnings pushed as forward to a line table in the corner a step away from the huge open metal door that loomed over us providing a reprieve from the sun ,two uniformed officers were standing behind the table giving out supplies from the huge boxes on the table. The third standing on the side was holding a stack of keys that he used to unchain the wrist and ankle chains that fell on his booted feet with a clang replacing them with cuffs.
I enjoyed a couple of seconds bringing sensation to my wrists before I was cuffed again and supplies were shoved in my cuffed hands - a pillow, a toothbrush and a fifty ml tube of paste and a change of clothes - that threatened to fall down every time you shifted to the sides.The big metal door opened to brightly lit hallway,walls painted creamy white with doors on each sides ,offices from the plaque of names bolted on each door we passed. “Get in line inmates and walk faster .It's walking not rocket science”the guard leading shouted his hand resting on his belt close to his Glock with a sneer.Like seriously what's his problem.“Don't look them directly in the eye”i was warned and I lowered my gaze to my feet “Don't challenge the authority,they are the law ,lick their shoes if you have to and you will to survive”he had continued .But i already knew that from when had i enlisted at only twenty one at the base in North of Texas.A decision that now was bordering on being the worst decision of my life. But how could enlisting to serve your country at the front lines ,so brave.Such an honor be a mistake?Aside from the ptsd.Well, it brought me here, Chungnk Penitentiary or hell as others who survived - barely - called it .
The lights dimmed as we took yet another turn , another level down and the heat dissipated with each step. The hooting and catcalls sounded even before I could enter the infamous gen pop ,the banging getting louder and louder .Home sweet Home . For the foreseeable future. The stairs down were a handful but we managed ,the guy behind didn't trip and we formed a line and the guard started reading out names - well names was a bit of a stretch since it only consisted of the word inmate and your family name. The banging on doors had quieted down but you could hear the inmates calling out names as the guard handed out cell numbers. This definitely was not part of the plan . Spending my entire life in prison , being away from my sister . I shouldn't be here rotting away . But I got caught .Days numbered and all that.Reality rushed in in a way too loud voice and way too close that I staggered back and laughter filled the room.”How many times did I call your name,inmate?” It takes me a moment to answer and the room is suddenly quiet like they were all waiting to see what was going to happen.
”I don't know,sir”
“four fucking times inmate ,four times calling your miserable name ,get the hell away from my face”
“Sir where do I …” the rest of question dries up in my mouth with the mean look he gives me
“ Sorry sir i ..will figure it out”
But he is not looking at my way busy herding people east and west. I walk up to another guard who watches my approach with a steady gaze ,he was the one unlocking the cuffs when I was aware of my surroundings before I decided to zone out like a complete idiot fucking up my one chance to go by unnoticed. I hold up my hands and he uncuffs me and I move to the side as other inmates pass me heading to their cells . The thing is I get nervous,a lot nervous when something was not meticulously planned , deer look kind of nervous and this was definitely not planned , looking around to all this new faces trapped in a way too small box ,caged and well having not being assigned a cell ,well I was but I don't know which one . It takes me a moment to be aware that someone was out calling for me because everyone was now staring, even the guards who had finished handing out cells and were now herding other inmates out the door , could be there was another cell block .
“ Hey newbie”
I must have stepped back looking for the owner of the voice and bumped into someone. I spun whiplash fast , stammering apologies and he and others guys sitted at a table laughs.The kind of laugh where they hit the metal tables with their hands .”You're hilarious” the guy I bumped into said. Well I don't consider myself hilarious, maybe an idiot more like. “I'm sure you were assigned cell 32 ,that one in the corner,you should get settled, meet your bunkmate and all that” the guy continues “ It is almost dinner time .” “You don't want to miss it,” another guy at the table added.
“You can even sit with us”the first guy said “we're taking in strays.”
“Thanks for the invite . I appreciate it and for the …”I point my chin to the general vicinity of cell 32 “ Enjoy your game” I murmur and turn to head to cell 32 . My home for the foreseeable future. I'm almost to my cell when someone taps my shoulder and I stop ready to tell whoever that I want no problem . “Hey, I called you,” the guy said when I turned around. What now ,I think to myself.
“I wanted to introduce myself . I'm Q and you're?” the guy Q says.
I hesitantly shake his hand and he smiles at me. He is gonna be a problem. He looks like a problem.
“ I'm West,” I reply warily. I can feel people staring. This guy was loud.
“West …” he says my name back , testing it “I like it. Is it west like the direction or a short form”
“ Does that matter?”
He laughs loudly. Seriously, what's his problem? Do I need to answer every little question he asks?
“It does but I will wait till you tell me and you will. So where did you come from? You don't look like you're from around here”
I keep quiet. I didn't owe this guy answers and my chances of going unnoticed were going downhill very fast.
“You work out? You look like you do” the guy Q says checking me out and I look at him arching a blow. This guy just wanted me to keep talking,asking all kinds of things , the orange jumpsuit attire was not for showing off any muscles.
“Let the guy breath for fucks sake”
Someone says coming up behind me and I look back at the owner of the voice.
“I'm not doing anything ,just stay out of this” Q retorts back taking a step forward.
“I'm not in your business , I'm saving my roommate from having to listen to you yammer off nonsense. And frankly no one wants to hear you speak. So go on and bother other new inmates ,lots for you to keep you busy” my roommate says also stepping forward. They were now so close the only thing separating them was me. Some guys were now behind Q silently urging him on.
“No, I chose this one. First came first serve, I call bull on your roommate shit”
I knew prison makes people crazy but this was on another level. Q was bat shit crazy, I'm not some buffet. Was this staredown going to end in fists? I didn't want to be near it when it eventually happened .
I take a step back and Q eyes follow me.
“ West” Q says.
Did he think he was doing this for my honor? I didn't ask for that. I just wanted to serve my sentence in peace ,as much as I could find in this place, not be tangled in whatever he was suggesting.
Someone tugs my clothes on my elbow and my essentials almost fall and they step to my front blocking me.
“You guys should settle whatever this is far from here. The bathroom is not in use,that would work. I don't care who wins, just leave this guy alone” the guy says calmly.
“He started it . Nosing around my business” Q says.
“He's my roommate Q, not your business. Maybe someone needs to show you not everything here is automatically yours just because you wish it” ...
