Paradox Of Love

Somewhere in Edinburgh (UK), on a mildly sunny day with a gentle cold wind brushing against the skin, far away from the usual traffic and crowd on a slightly elevated lane, stood a medium-sized home. Inside her room, a woman was still lost in sleep. She was a white Anglo-Indian girl - kinda chubby in the most tempting way, above average height, with those beautiful light brown eyes that could mesmerize anyone the second they made eye contact.

She woke up with a groan, stretching her soft, curvy body under the blanket. "Ah why do we have to go to University daily ahhhhh..."

Hearing her whine, her elder sister Jane walked into the room. "Julie, why are you whining in the morning again?"

Julie sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. "It's because you chose this MBBS degree for me. Better than getting married at the age of 20. If I don't study, mom and dad will look for some uncle and get me married to him."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Why do you have so many issues with marriage?"

Julie sighed deeply. "I am not worried about being married. I am worried about being married to the wrong person."

Jane smiled and hurried her. "Okay, worry about the marriage part later. You have to get to college right now otherwise I'll be late too. Quickly!"

Julie dragged herself out of bed and got ready for class, her mind already drifting to places she knew she shouldn't go.

As she reached the University, Max - the boy who was clearly head over heels in love with her - came up to her with his usual hopeful smile. "Are you done with today's assignment?"

"No," she replied softly, thinking about how she had stayed up late reading that dark novel instead. She couldn't tell anyone. Everyone knew her as the smart, innocent girl who didn't do crazy things and always stuck to what needed to be done.

The bell rang and class started. The Anatomy teacher asked everyone about yesterday's assignment. Julie hadn't completed it. Because last night, instead of studying, she had been lost in that forbidden world. She received punishment - to read an entire chapter on the Respiratory system after class.

Whyyyyyyyyy!! she screamed inside her head. She sighed heavily. She always completed her work on time, but just one day she wanted to feel something wild, something real... and now she was paying for it.

She headed to the library hoping for some peace to finish the punishment, but the moment she opened the respiratory book, her hands betrayed her. She closed it and went back to the dark novel she was reading last night. The pages were filled with BDSM - chains, blindfolds, dominance, submission, rough hands pinning soft bodies, commands that made knees weak.

If they knew what I read... they would never think of me as that smart innocent girl they believe I am. But I love it. I love how this novel talks about the things people secretly crave but never confess because of the image they have to maintain. The power, the control, the pain mixed with pleasure... Wonder if I would ever find such a guy I could do all this with... Na na, what am I thinking? I'm not even gonna find a guy that matches my vibe. Haha. I should finish the respiratory book otherwise mam will scold me again tomorrow.

She got up to find another reference book. While searching through the shelves, she peeked through a gap in the books and froze. A set of intense, pretty manly hunter eyes stared back. That sharp jawline with a perfect beard - the kind you would want to feel scratching against your inner thighs when he kisses you down there. Julie got lost for a second, her breath catching in her throat.

She regained her senses and moved to the next lane, only to see a hot fit girl through the books trying to hold that same man's hand.

"Noah, why don't you give me another chance? I would do anything for you. I'm sorry, I was drunk when that happened and it would never happen again," the girl begged.

Noah replied in a deep yet soft voice, slow and filled with controlled anger, "I don't wanna talk to you anymore Lyra. Doesn't matter if you were drunk - you went with a guy and spent the whole night with him. Ugh, I can't stand you. Get lost."

Lyra's voice turned emotional. "I'm sorry... I want us to get back. I wouldn't drink ever again."

Noah's tone was final. "Did you forget what I told you? 'I would do anything for you but only until you are mine and just mine.' Now get lost. I'm not blocking you and giving you this chance to speak to me is already more than enough."

He walked away from Lyra, searching for some air. Julie watched the entire scene with her heart beating faster than usual. She quickly looked away and continued searching for her Anatomy book, but Noah's deep voice and those eyes were now stuck in her mind.

Lunch break. Julie found her best friend Anna waving at her while eating a sandwich. "I'm here!"

Julie sat down. "Hey Anna, what's up?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "Just this headache of dating an idiot. I texted him last night saying I'm feeling hot and need something to extinguish my fire... and he replied 'turn on the AC and relax baby, I love you.' Like duhh, I wanted to extinguish my inner fire, you know?"

Julie chuckled. "He might be just teasing you."

Anna sighed. "I thought so too. I even told him to be that AC and he said he'll send someone to fix it tomorrow. Bruh, I really wanted to be wild last night..."

"It's okay, don't worry. It'll be fine," Julie comforted her. She casually mentioned she had read a novel last night. Anna asked what it was about. Julie only said, "A wild and rough one..." She never shared her deepest, darkest fantasies even with her best friend.

Anna grinned. "Okayy. You know what? I'll tell Tom to watch a sexy movie with me tonight. I'll tell you if we had some action."

Julie smiled. "Okay..."

But inside she thought, Who would I ever be able to tell these plans and fantasies to someday? Or will they always stay trapped in my imagination forever?

University got over. While heading back home, even with earphones in, she heard a deep exhaust roar. She removed her left earphone and looked towards the parking. It was Noah on his bike. Julie didn't know much about bikes, but something about him sitting on it made her thighs press together. Why is he so hot on that bike? Why do I suddenly want to sit behind him...? What's happening to me? Why does my heartbeat increase like this around him?

"Julie! Julie!" She turned around. It was Max. "Do you need help with your Anatomy assignment? I'm free in the evening."

"No, I completed it in the library itself. Thanks for asking," she replied.

Max kept pushing gently and invited her to a class party, promising it wouldn't be too loud and they could stay away from the crowd. Julie didn't like loud music unless it was her personal playlist, but because Max always tried to help her, she finally said yes.

When she reached home, her mother scolded her for not fixing her bed. "What is happening to you nowadays, Julie? You're a really bright kid. Why are you being lazy? I think you should get married, then you'll become more responsible."

"Nooo maaa," Julie protested. She didn't want to get married ever.

Deep down she knew the laziness came from wanting to enjoy her 20s for once instead of always being the perfect studies kid.

She changed, went to sleep, and saw Noah in her dreams - playing together at a waterfall while her favorite playlist played in the background. She woke up wetttt between her legs, her panties soaked. Her cheeks flushed with surprise and shame. Why did I see him in my dream? I know nothing about him...

Her phone pinged. It was Max: 'Are you ready yet?'

She was half an hour late. She got ready quickly and left for the party.

At the party, Max gave her a rose and told her she was looking beautiful. She thanked him and went inside. There were people playing games, singing, drinking... and then she saw Noah. Her breath caught. Her eyes darted left and right in confusion.

Max noticed and took her to the garden bench outside for snacks and chit-chat about movies and random things. Noah came out, sat on a single sofa, and stayed glued to his phone. A girl tried to talk to him but he barely responded. He lit a cigarette, looked up, and their eyes locked.

Julie quickly pretended to talk to Max, but when she glanced back, Noah was still staring at her - intense, emotionless, smoking. Her heart raced. She told Max she needed to leave early.

On the way home, her taxi broke down. She started panicking about her curfew. Then that familiar deep exhaust sound roared again. Noah.

After a short conversation, she finally agreed to ride with him. She sat behind, holding his strong body tightly as he instructed. The ride made her imagination run wild. His biceps felt so firm under her hands.

She made him drop her a little before her house. That night she went to bed with butterflies, smiling.

Next day at university, she kept stealing glances at Noah, imagining dirty things - stroking his dick while sitting behind him on the bike, kissing his neck as he rode. Oh no Julieee, you're being such a bad girl hehe... But she tried hard to control herself. She was supposed to be the respectable girl everywhere.

After classes, something pulled her towards the engineering building. She found his bag. Then she heard voices.

"Baby I miss you so much..."

"Do whatever you want..."

Julie moved closer slowly. Her body froze at the sight.

Lyra was on her knees in front of Noah, holding his pants like she was about to pull them down and give him a blowjob. The words "do whatever you want" echoed in her head.

She is giving him a blowjob right? Right?

Her heart felt heavy. Her head spun. All the daydreams, all the secret touches in her mind, all the wetness she felt thinking about him... and he was with his ex like this. She felt dizzy, betrayed, and a strong wave of hate washed over her.

She didn't say a word. She turned back and walked towards the exit. Every step felt heavy. Every breath hurt. She felt like she would collapse any second.

Max saw her and asked if she was okay. Julie, feeling completely numb, whispered, "Max, can you please drop me home? I'm not feeling well."

Max dropped her home. She didn't speak to anyone, fell on her bed, and cried while listening to the most heartbreaking songs on her playlist.

Watching your crush... the one you started falling for... with someone else breaks your soul. You don't feel like doing anything anymore. You just want to cut them out of your thoughts until you bleed out.

She slept crying, overthinking everything.

Will she ever forgive him? Or will they go their separate ways?

To find out, read the next chapter (Chapter 2).

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