ANNE

ONE

1809

Colonel Harding was the type of man who never ignored his duties or the expectations of his rank. However, when his wife died in 1805, leaving him a widower with three children, his life became more complicated than his rigidity would tolerate well.

“Sir?” Mrs. Evanson said as she lightly tapped on the door of the study before slowly and cautiously peeking her head around.

“Enter,” Colonel Harding replied, his voice rigid and commanding as though he was speaking to her as his prisoner and not under his employ.

“The new woman is here about the governess position,” Mrs Evanson said from the doorway.

Without looking up from his desk, he said, “Send her in.”

“Yes, sir.”

The housekeeper stepped out and returned moments later, again peeking her head around the door slowly as she cleared her throat to speak. “This is Miss Anne Oliver. Miss Oliver is here about the governess position.”

The caution Mrs. Evanson gave in slowly showing her head around the door was the first impression Anne had of Colonel Harding. What kind of man was he? She knew being a Colonel in the military meant he would be structured, routined, and strict, but apart from that, she just wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Hello, Mr. Harding,” Anne said and gave a small but awkward curtsey.

“Colonel…” he said without looking at her.

“Forgive me, Colonel Harding,” Anne said.

Colonel Harding looked up from his desk and said, “Do you have any experience with children?”

“A little. My sister’s children.”

“How old are they and what experience have you had with them?”

“She has seven children aged two, four, seven, nine, eleven, twelve, and fifteen.”

“Your experience with them?”

“I have watched them on occasion and I spend much time with them,” Anne said, feeling timid, though she was unsure why.

“And do you have any experience as a governess?”

“No, but I…”

“I’m sorry, but you’re not what I’m looking for,” Colonel Harding said and resumed writing.

“But I’ve traveled all this way,” Anne said.

“All this way?” He asked, lifting his eyes to look at her above his reading glasses.

“From Bath.”

“You’ve come to Ramsgate from Bath to seek employment as a governess?”

Anne nodded. “Yes, sir. Won’t you at least give me a chance?”

He resumed writing and said, “Do you have any formal schooling?”

“My father was an Oxford graduate and I learned many things from him in addition to having my own governess.”

“And let me guess… privileged in society but never married because you need to prove yourself…”

Anne interrupted before he could finish. “If I may, sir, your assertion of me is entirely wrong.”

Colonel Harding looked up from his desk once more. “Is that so?”

“I came to be a governess because even though my father was very well in the world, and though I received offers of marriage, none were what I felt worthy of acceptance.”

“A young woman turning down offers of marriage? Whoever heard of such a thing?” he replied, lowering his gaze once again to continue the letter he was writing.

“Yes. Unspeakable to imagine a young woman would fancy herself to be in love before she marries.”

Colonel Harding gave Anne a long glance, taking in her dark brown hair which curled up on the ends, blue eyes, freckles, and delicate features, and imagined she couldn’t be older than 18 or 19. Colonel Harding was the kind of man not to take first impressions lightly, and felt her to be too timid to be handling his children, however desperate they may be for a new governess, and he said, “And what is your age?”

“I am 24, sir.”

“And you believe yourself capable of handling a 15-year-old young woman and a 10 year-old boy as well as a 4-year-old little girl?”

“I do, sir,” Anne said with an enthusiastic nod. “Please, let me prove myself. I won’t disappoint you.”

“Very well. I will give you a month’s trial period. If after a month, I find you to be unsuitable for this household and my children, I shall let you go. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you sir,” Anne said.

“Very well. Mrs. Evanson will take you to your room and introduce you to the children.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Colonel Harding rang the servant’s bell. When Mrs. Evanson appeared, he gave instructions for Miss Oliver to be taken to her rooms and to be introduced to the children. They walked out of the study and down the hall, and Mrs. Evanson said, “The children should be in here.”

Anne’s heart pounded as she followed Mrs. Evanson down the hall. She had faced many challenges, but none quite like this. Colonel Harding was more stern and rigid than she had originally anticipated and working for him would certainly prove to be more challenging than anything she’d encountered. Whatever tragedy had befallen this family was certainly still affecting Colonel Harding.

Anne heard the sound of two or maybe three children inside the room, and when Mrs. Evanson opened the door, Anne was a little overwhelmed by the two girls and young boy who were fighting on the floor of the drawing room. The drawing room was a testament to the Harding family’s wealth, with its high ceilings, ornate moldings, and large windows that let in the afternoon light. The children’s toys were scattered about, a stark contrast to the room’s otherwise pristine condition.

“Children!” Mrs. Evanson called out. All three stopped mid-fight stance–one girl rested with her fist balled, ready to punch the boy, and the other girl holding onto her sister’s hair, yanking her away from the boy–and they turned their faces to look at Mrs. Evanson.

“This is Miss Oliver. She is to be your new governess. Stand up and greet her at once.”

The three children hurried to their feet, and one right after the other said, “Miss Oliver.”

“Miss Oliver, this is Edmund, Evelyn, and Audrey. They are Colonel Harding’s children.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, children,” Anne said.

“Well, I’m not pleased to meet you!” Edmund spat.

“Edmund! You will apologize to Miss Oliver at once!” Mrs. Evanson said.

“No, I will not!” He shouted, crossing his arms and turning his back to them.

The youngest, Evelyn, approached Anne, grasping Anne’s fingers as she said, “I am sorry Edmund is being so rude to you, Miss Oliver. I like you. I think you have kind eyes.”

“I don’t think she looks old enough to be a governess,” Audrey said, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Me neither!” Edmund hollered; his back still turned to them. “Mrs. Cooper was way fatter and uglier than you!” Edmund said.

“Maybe that’s why Father hired her,” Audrey said as she rolled her eyes and walked to the other side of the room.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Anne replied with a gentle smile. “I assure you; I am quite capable.”

“All right, children, that’ll be enough from all of you,” Mrs. Evanson said. “Your father expects great courtesy given to Miss Oliver. I’ll be showing her to her chambers now.”

Edmund’s defiance was palpable, a shield against the world. Evelyn’s gentle touch and kind words hinted at a longing for affection, while Audrey’s bluntness suggested a sharp mind eager to test boundaries. All three children would prove to be a challenge in their own unique way.

Mrs. Evanson led Anne down the hall and up the stairs. “Across the hall is Miss Audrey’s room. Next to you is Miss Evelyn. Master Edmund is across the hall next to his sister, and Colonel Harding is the last door down there,” she said, pointing to the door next to Edmund’s room, which was across the hall and three doors down.

“And where is your room?” Anne asked.

“This is where the family stays. All the servants are on the top floor. Up there are Albert the footman, the cook, the house maids, and the stable boy, the groundskeeper and carriage driver. My husband, Mr. Evanson, who takes care of the stables for Colonel Harding, lives with me in a cottage down the lane if you should ever need us.”

Mrs. Evanson opened the door to Anne’s room and said, “These are your chambers. Supper is served at six.”

Anne turned around after glancing over the large room and said, “What happened to the children’s mother?”

“We don’t talk about it,” Mrs. Evanson replied, “Your belongings will be delivered to you shortly,” she said and closed the door as she walked out.

Anne walked around her chambers, waiting for her things to be brought upstairs. The room was spacious, with a large bed, a writing desk, and a wardrobe. The view from the window overlooked the vast gardens, where she could see the last of the autumn flowers blooming. The idea of children losing their mother so young and a man losing his wife so early in life seemed unfair.

“She certainly couldn’t have been too old,” Anne said, as she wandered the room, looking out the window at the view of the gardens. As she was staring out the window at the gardens, she heard the door creak open but saw no one there when she looked over her shoulder.

“Hello?” she said, glancing at the door.

Peering around the bottom of the chest of drawers, Evelyn said, “Hello, Miss Oliver.”

Anne waved her hand for Evelyn to stand, and she said, “Why did you sneak in instead of knocking on the door for me to welcome you in?”

Evelyn shrugged and dropped her eyes, looking sheepishly at her toes.

“Come,” Anne said, tapping the bed next to where she now sat. “Sit here.”

Evelyn hurried over, grinning, as she jumped up onto Anne’s bed with a giggle and sprawled out, causing Anne to smile.

“Tell me your favorite things to do.”

“I love to ride Papa’s ponies, and go swimming in the pond, though Papa tells me it’s not ladylike for a girl to swim. I like to walk over the hill behind the barn and pick flowers. I like it when Audrey takes me to town and gives me money to spend at the shops.”

Anne said, “What do you buy in the shops?”

“Candy!”

“What would you like to do with me?” Anne asked.

“I would like to learn how to paint like my mama did.”

“Did your mama paint very well?”

Evelyn’s eyes brightened and her demeanor became enthusiastic as she took hold of Anne’s arms, pulling her out of the room and down the hallway, adding even more to the curiosity of whatever tragedy surrounded this family.

“Where are we going?” Anne asked.

“You will see.”

The hallway was lined with portraits of stern-looking ancestors, their eyes seeming to follow Anne as she walked. The children’s rooms were decorated with care, each reflecting their personalities. Evelyn’s excitement was palpable as she led Anne to a room filled with paintings and art supplies, a testament to their mother’s artistic talent.

They arrived at the end of the hall and Evelyn opened a room, walking inside to open the long red curtains at the window and let light in. As she parted the curtains and light came into the room, Anne saw the most beautiful paintings hanging all around the room.

“And what is this?” Anne asked.

“These are my mama’s paintings,” Evelyn said.

“They are lovely,” Anne said. “Why are they in here and not hanging where they can be enjoyed?”

“Papa says he does not want to be reminded of Mama because it makes him too sad.”

“But I wonder if you would like to have one in your room, would you not?” Anne asked.

Evelyn nodded enthusiastically. “Would I ever!”

“I imagine allowing you to have one painting couldn’t hurt,” Anne said.

Anne’s heart raced as she reached for the painting on the wall. Though she knew very little of Colonel Harding’s personality, her first encounter of his told her it was a risk, but seeing Evelyn’s joy made it seem worth it. Perhaps this small act of kindness could bring some light into their lives. She took a small painting from the wall and walked it down the hall to Evelyn’s room, hoping to bring just a spark of joy to that little girl’s life.

As they were walking down the hall, Colonel Harding stopped them. “What is that you have there?”

“Miss Oliver said I could put one of Mama’s paintings in my room!” Evelyn exclaimed, jumping excitedly.

“Did she now?” he said with a stern glance at Anne. “Miss Oliver, a word if you would.” He waved his finger for her to follow him into the room to their left, closing the door behind them.

“Is that true?” he asked.

“Yes,” Anne said, fearing she had overstepped too large a boundary now.

“You’re here an hour and already you think you have the right to interfere in details on my life like this?”

“Well, no, I just…I thought…”

“You thought what?! You thought giving my wife’s paintings to her child would help this family’s suffering?! Is that what you thought?!” Colonel Harding’s eyes flashed with pain as he saw the painting. It was a reminder of the love he had lost, a wound that had never healed.

“I never meant to intrude on your privacy or hurt anybody…”

“Pack your things at once. You’re leaving,” he snapped.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry you’re still hurting, sir,” Anne said, biting her lip timidly.

He said nothing as Anne began to cry and walked out the door and down the hall to her room.

“Miss Oliver!” Evelyn yelled as Anne walked down the hall. “Miss Oliver!”

Evelyn’s face fell as she watched Anne hurry to her room without a word. Anne glanced over her shoulder at Evelyn, feeling guilty for the trouble she caused. She had hoped the painting would bring some happiness, but now she regretted her actions.

***

Colonel Harding passed his upset four-year-old on his way downstairs, and Evelyn yelled, “What did you do?!”

“What do you mean?”

“She just got here!” Evelyn yelled. “Why was she walking to her chambers crying already?”

“Evelyn,” Colonel Harding said, “I will not speak to you about this. Just know what happened today was not appropriate of her and we will be searching for a new governess.”

He stepped down a few stairs, and Evelyn yelled, “No! I don’t want another governess. I want Anne! I told her to give me the painting, Papa. It’s not fair!”

Colonel Harding turned around and said, “What’s not fair, Evie?”

“You remember Mama, Audrey remembers Mama, and Edmund remembers Mama, but I didn’t get to know her. All I have is her picture and I want something of hers. Why do you want to erase her?”

“I don’t want to erase her, Evelyn.”

“Then stop acting like you do! Don’t punish Miss Oliver because you are angry Mama is gone.”

Evelyn watched her father with wide, tear-filled eyes. She had never spoken to him so boldly before, but she couldn’t bear the thought of losing another person, even a governess just introduced into her life.

The words Evelyn spoke to her father caused a pang of guilt in him as he contemplated his overreaction to Anne. In trying to shield himself from the pain of his wife’s death, he had also shut out his children’s need to remember their mother.

“Thank you for your wisdom, Evie.” Then he kissed her on top of her head, and said, “Run along and play.”

“Say you will not let her leave, Papa. Swear it.”

“I will go and speak with her,” he said.

Colonel Harding walked back up the stairs and down the family hall, knocking on Miss Oliver’s door.

“Miss Oliver,” he said. When he received no reply, he knocked again. “Miss Oliver, might I have a word?”

Anne’s heart ached as she packed her few belongings. She had hoped to make a difference here, but now it seemed she had only caused more pain.

A moment later, the door opened and Anne was standing there, her eyes saturated with tears, and she said, “I’m almost ready to leave when you are prepared to send me away.”

“Yes, about that,” he said, motioning his hand for them to enter her chambers.

Anne said nothing but backed up, and Colonel Harding entered behind her, closing the door.

“It seems you have already made quite the impression on my youngest daughter.”

“She’s made quite the impression on me too,” Anne said.

“So, you’ll stay?”

“You’re asking me not to go?” Anne said, her eyes scanning Colonel Harding’s face for any hint of regret for his harshness towards her.

“It seems that way. Evelyn has made up her mind about you.”

Anne nodded, wondering if it was only Evelyn who had made up her mind and if that was enough to convince her to stay and work for a man who would speak so rudely to a woman with kind intentions. After a few moments of contemplation, Anne said, “I’ll stay on one condition.”

“That would be?”

“You work on that temper,” Anne said with the smallest of smiles.

He chuckled and said, “Highly unlikely. On another note, we do need to discuss your wardrobe.”

Anne glanced down at her very plain and modest dress. Though she knew her dress was nothing impressive, she did not find it inappropriate of her position, and she said, “This is all I have.”

“I’m aware. Griggs made it known to me that you traveled with very little. Would you care to expand on that situation?”

Anne shook her head. “No, sir.”

“Hm. Alright then. We will go to town together and get you some new dresses.”

“That isn’t necessary, sir.”

“It is. You must always take care of yourself and show Audrey how to be a lady like her mother would’ve.”

“But I’m only a governess.”

“I’m aware.”

Colonel Harding exited Anne’s room and she was never more confused about a person than she was about her new employer.