Chapter 1
Clarice watched as people crossed the parapet. Her face remained stoic but she couldn't help but flinch as she watched a man stumble. No matter how much time she had spent there she hated seeing young men and women who had their whole lives ahead of them die. She wasn't even supposed to be there, but she made it a habit to go each July. Clarice spotted a man and her stoic demeanor faltered.
"Matteo?" She knew it wasn't him but he looked so much like him.
"Clarice," Dusk growled.
"Sorry."
She watched him step off the parapet and into the college. She sighed in relief and couldn't watch anymore. Clarice jumped when she felt hands on her shoulders.
"Relax, it's just me." Svetlana squeezed gently. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She turned back around. "What did I tell you about touching me?"
Svetlana had heard from Wingleader Kellen Voss how prickly and closed-off Clarice could be but knew that all too well already, and it bothered her because she didn't use to be like this. "You're frustrating sometimes but I enjoy the challenge."
"You enjoy a lot of things about her." Rhazek chuckled.
"What isn't there to enjoy? We've known her for years now."
"You know I can hear you two, Svetlana?" Clarice shot her a glare.
"Ignore me." Svetlana smiled nervously and let her hands rest at her sides.
Clarice folded her arms over her chest and blocked her out. She wasn't bothered by what she said it gave her a warm feeling that she didn't experience from anyone else.
"Let her in." Dusk huffed.
"No."
"She isn't going to hurt you like Franz does. She has come to your defense every time he lays hands on you." She scolded. "She cares deeply about you."
"Yeah, and I told Voss I didn't need a bodyguard."
"You do. The marked ones, including Voss, care about you. You're like a mother to them."
Clarice couldn't deny that. She made her feel safe. Something she had never felt before. Her heart fluttered at the thought alone and she hated it. Her jaw clenched at the look Svetlana gave her. That cheeky grin of hers both infuriated her and warmed her.
"Are you ready for the new Healer cadets?"
"I'm always ready for them. It's the Riders I worry about."
Svetlana understood. She remembers when she first crossed the parapet twenty years ago. They kept her at Basgiath due to her unique shifting capabilities as she was the only person who could shift into a dragon.
"I do not look forward to cadets using me like a playground," Rhazek grumbled.
"Better they practice on us so they're ready."
Rhazek growled.
"You're awfully moody today."
Rhazek didn't dignify that with a response.
"I'm going to head back to my office. There are more shifters this year." She sighed.
"You need to make more suppressants?" She asked, following behind her.
"Yes, a lot of it. There are at least four that I can sense."
"Just don't overwork yourself or stress about Franz. I'll keep him away from you."
"Thank you." She murmured.
[~~~~~~~~~~~]
Clarice didn't heed Svetlana's advice and worked on it all day without a break. It agitated Dusk and she made that known. She always did and in around five minutes or so Svetlana would be there to tell her to rest.
"She has her own work to do. You can't keep calling her every time I mildly overwork myself."
"I haven't heard her complain once about it."
Clarice rolled her eyes and moved a set of vials to the side along with the four others she had completed. The heel of her boot tapped the floor as she contemplated taking a break. The sound of footsteps approaching gave her pause and her whole body tensed. She reached for the dagger at her side when the door opened.
"It's just me." Svetlana put her hands up in mock surrender. "Dusk said you were overworking yourself again." She pulled a chair up beside her and sat.
"I have to get these ready before there's an even bigger bloodbath. There's never been this many shifters here."
"There are a couple of vampires too. One tried to take a chunk out of my neck." She laughed softly. "All the shifters are marked ones too."
"You didn't get hurt did you?" Clarice stood up and checked her neck for any bite marks.
"No, but they tried." She laughed. "I'm alright, you don't have to inspect me every time you see me."
Clarice sighed in relief and returned to her seat. She couldn't stand the thought of anyone being harmed let alone Svetlana. As annoying as she could be she had gotten attached to her even if she wouldn't admit it out loud or to herself.
"Even I enjoy the way she looks at you." Rhazek chuffed.
"She can hear us."
Clarice's laugh made her heart stutter. It was inconvenient when she forgot to shield Clarice out and Rhazek started her shit. But, she didn't want to shield her out. In truth, she wanted Clarice to know exactly what she was thinking.
"You two have an interesting relationship." Dusk chuckled.
"Purely professional." Clarice rolled her eyes.
"Professionally beating Franz's ass and professionally—"
Clarice shut Dusk out. Maybe it wasn't strictly professional but she was willing to make that exception for her. She stood up and so did Svetlana. Her shields fell when she was pulled into Svetlana's arms. Her head rested against her chest. No one had ever held her so lovingly before.
"Are you going to admit it yet?" Dusk rumbled.
"Admit what? Can't I enjoy being held without you thinking I want..."
"More than that? You forget I feel what you feel and right now your heart is racing."
Clarice huffed but didn't pull away from her. If anyone else was this warm she'd be worried they had a fever but with Svetlana it was normal. She reluctantly pulled away from her even while she craved closeness.
"I'm sure you have more important matters to tend to than just being here with me." She rested her hand on Svetlana's tattooed forearm.
"I really don't. Not today at least." Her hand rested over Clarice's. "But if you need space then I'm more than happy to give that to you."
She stared up at her for a long few moments and asked her to repeat herself to make sure she heard correctly. Clarice felt stupid for being so shocked by what she had said.
"We'll come back whenever you need us or if you just miss our lovely company." Svetlana squeezed her hand before letting go.
"Such a flirt." Dusk chuckled.
"That's just her personality."
"She has only done it with you from what I remember... especially after threshing when you bonded Rhazek."
Clarice rolled her eyes. She had grown accustomed to her flirting and in truth, it didn't bother her. Hell, part of her enjoyed it even when she shouldn't.
"I don't even consider you married anymore. For fuck sake you were sixteen and he was twenty-four." Dusk growled.
"Because we aren't. After I left for conscription day he divorced me but now says we're not."Clarice sighed
"You know he doesn't love you and is only staying because he enjoys tormenting you."
"It's to keep up appearances too."
"Those bruises say enough. How much longer are you going to lie to not only yourself but to everyone else?"
"I've done it for nearly two decades and almost a full decade here."
"You don't need to keep living like this."
"We both know what will happen if I even dare to bring it up."
"Don't bring it up just kill him. The world would be better off."
Clarice couldn't deny that but the fear of what he would do to her kept her from following through on any of it. He was well respected in Basgiath and she didn't want to risk being executed. Not that she had anything left to lose aside from her career.
"And Svetlana."
She sighed and acknowledged that. She placed the vials in holders in their marked cabinets.
"You should head to bed. You need to be rested for tomorrow."
"I'll get on that."
[~~~~~~~~~~]
The next morning she walked down to the Healers Quadrant classrooms. She had a glove on her left hand to cover her rebellion relic. Clarice taught first, second, and third year classes so she was in for a long day as usual. She enjoyed her job. With the first years she went over basic wounds and how to treat them with standard medical supplies.
In the middle of her third year class towards the end of the day a nagging sense of unease set in.
"I can smell... a bear and blood. A lot of blood."
"Oh no."
A look of panic grazed her features and some of the class noticed.
"Professor Achamer, is everything alright?"Lyra asked.
"No, but I will be right back." She said hastily. "Someone will come watch you guys."
"Dusk, where's Svetlana?"
"Already on her way. Get to your office to grab a vial."
She sprinted to her office and snatched a vial of black liquid and a silver-made chain before she headed to the sparring gym in the Riders Quadrant. "Gods I hope I'm not too late."
"The scent of blood is too strong for it to be anything minor," Dusk growled.
"Did you say a bear?"
"Yes."
Clarice shoved the door open and froze when she saw the carnage. She had expected the worst and was still in shock. Body parts lay strewn around the gym and blood covered nearly every surface. She threw and wrapped the chain around the bear's leg before he could bite into a woman in the corner and pulled. Her gloves kept it from burning her skin.
"Hey!" Clarice yelled. "Get your big furry ass over here." She pulled back on the chain.
He was taken aback. "I'll tear you apart."
"No you won't. Now lean down." She uncorked the vial.
"How can you..."
"How do you think? I'm a shifter too." She pulled his bottom jaw down and poured the liquid into his mouth before she forced it closed.
"I couldn't smell it on you." He growled.
"I take suppressants to prevent this from happening." She gestured to the carnage.
She stepped back and watched as he transformed back. The bearish roar turned into one of human agony. Clarice cringed at the sounds of his bones snapping back into place.
"Just don't say anything about us being able to read each other's minds. They'll kill us." She murmured.
A faint glow shone from her hand as she mended him enough so he could move.
"I have to go back to my class and I don't want to hear about a giant bear mauling cadets again." She chided.
[~~~~~~~~~~~~]
"How the hell did a bear get in here?!" Korrin shouted.
"He is a werebear. A shifter."
"Gods these Riders are terrifying." Lyra groaned.
"They're just shifters it's not because they're Riders." She explained. "Not every shifter will try to kill you unless you give them a reason."
"So, Lieutenant Lebedeva isn't going to burn us alive if we misbehave?" Azura asked.
Clarice turned to Svetlana and shot her a glare that made her back away.
"No. She won't." She said slowly. "Lieutenant, I need to speak with you outside. Now."
"Ooh shit. Someone's in trouble." Oliver laughed.
Clarice grabbed Svetlana's arm and led her outside the classroom. She was furious and let her have it.
"I ask you to watch my class and you threaten to burn them?!"
"I was joking, I promise."
"Clearly they didn't think so."
Svetlana put her hands up defensively. She did not enjoy being on the receiving end of Clarice's ire. She apologized vehemently but could still tell she was pissed off.
"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry." She said softly.
[~~~~~~~~~~~~]
Clarice finished up her final class for the day and returned to her office. She was still seething though it hadn't been that serious. She wanted her students to feel safe even in this hellhole.
"She meant no harm. Don't be so hard on her."
"She can't be doing that—"
"I said stop." Dusk snarled.
Clarice rested her face in her hands. She was torn between anger and guilt. Was she being too hard on her? Her head felt like it was spinning and she laid it down against her desk.
"Clarice..." She growled. "Change of plans. Rip his throat out."
She sat frozen while Franz banged incessantly on the door but he didn't yell with people around. "Gods just go away." She bit her tongue and walked over to the door and opened it.
"What took you so long?" He said in a sickly sweet tone that was far from genuine.
"I was working."
"You look like you've been crying."
When his hand cupped her cheek she felt sick but remained rooted in place. Her jaw clenched.
"Are you still crying over those mutts you called our children?" His hand pulled away as he backed her into the room, kicking the door shut behind them.
A pit of dread made her stomach sink. No one would be able to hear with the room she had Kellen ward for patient privacy. No one was coming to help her.
"They were our children!" She felt her back hit the wall.
Franz gritted his teeth and raised a hand, slapping her across the face.
"Yours. Not ours. No child of mine is going to be some inhuman mutt."
She held the side of her face and braced herself when he grabbed her by the shirt. She winced and bared each punch and kick. His words were like venom as he reiterated how much he loathed her. How much he hated her children and how glad he was that they were dead.
Clarice sat on the floor and sobbed when he left. Her nose was bleeding profusely and her right eye was blurry. Dusk was uncharacteristically quiet.
Another knock on the door made her body stiffen again and it took every ounce of her not to yell for them to go fuck themselves. She didn't want anyone to see her like this but that wasn't an option when she had a job to do. Clarice quickly stood and wiped most of the blood off her face with some water and dried it with a rag.
"Come in." She did her damndest to sound professional.
Kellen stepped in and the mage light told him everything he needed to know. His fists and jaw clenched.
"Who did this?" He slowly placed a hand on her back. His golden eyes were full of worry and barely restrained rage. "Was it a cadet? Another professor?"
"No... no." She shook her head. "It's not important. I'll be ok."
"It's not important my ass." He said through gritted teeth. "Tell me who did this to you, please, Mom." Desperation crept into his voice.
That single word was enough to break her in that moment. She was used to people, mainly the marked ones, calling her mom, but after the fight with Franz, it tugged at her heartstrings.
"My ex-husband." She murmured.
"Was it just this one time?" Kellen wrapped his arms tightly around her.
"No." She sighed.
He knew who her husband was. They all did. He was part of the leadership board for Healers. That would make handling him, at least in the way Kellen wanted to, much more difficult. However, he was determined, and he had over a hundred marked ones ready to back him up.
Clarice was adamant that they didn't do a thing. She didn't want them to be executed solely because of her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself.
"Don't worry about us. We'll handle him." He assured.
