Prologue
He liked to watch her when no one was looking.
It was the only time he could let the full force of his hunger show.
Silently and in secret.
He could take in Lisa Star’s elegantly toned body. He could let his eyes linger on how well her white tank top clung to her lush, umber-brown skin. He could imagine running his fingers over her hips and nicely toned ass, even if the mere thought made his body instantly respond.
Sung Yoo couldn’t help but let himself have these brief moments.
To let the low growl that grew at the back of his throat edge him forward.
He wanted her.
But, like every time he let himself indulge in her beauty, she turned to him as if she could feel his eyes touching every part of her.
Smiling lightly, Sung walked completely into the dance studio.
“I have an interview at one of the Big Three.”
Lisa stopped mopping, giving him her full attention.
Two small puffballs adorned her head, giving her an innocent look that made him want to protect her.
She always stayed late to mop the studio floor. It was a task he and a few others usually stayed to help with, but tonight it was just the two of them.
“Really? Which one?”
Leaning against her mop with an enormous smile, Sung felt drawn to her. She had a way of doing that, drawing people to her. Making them feel like their happiness was her happiness.
A tight feeling gripped his chest as he smiled back at her and held a finger to his lips.
“Secret surprise,” he said in English.
Sung still wasn’t good enough to confidently string long sentences together. But with Lisa’s help, he had gotten way better, even if he still found himself unable to understand half of what she said most days.
Especially when she got excited and started talking with her hands.
But those were the times Sung found her to be the most beautiful. When she let down her guard and let her passion show.
Chuckling lightly, Lisa clapped her hands with a loud, “FIGHTING!”
A flash of heat hit his face.
Sung rushed forward and covered her mouth.
Giving an even bigger laugh, Lisa slowly moved his hands until they rested on her upper shoulders.
“Hey, you got this, Yoo. You’re an amazing dancer, and your voice is always on point. So don’t ever sell yourself short.”
He should move his hands off her shoulders…
But he couldn’t.
He wanted to get close to her.
Needed it, even.
Cutting the small gap between them, it was easy to forget how small her 5’6” height was compared to his 6’1”. Looking down into her dark brown eyes, Sung’s body felt as if he were drowning in them.
“I’m 27, Liz. Most idols are recruited by 21.”
A spark of sadness hit his voice, bringing with it the fear of letting down his mother.
She had sacrificed so much for him. If he didn’t ace this interview, it would crush him.
But it would absolutely destroy his mother.
He couldn’t let that happen. Even if the much younger idols seemed way more talented.
His mind flashed to his junior, Kim.
It felt like everything the younger male did was so perfect.
Making Sung feel like he was getting left behind.
The sound of her wooden mop handle hitting the floor drew Sung from his dark thoughts and back to the beautiful woman before him.
“Enough of that! You made the tough choice that will bring wealth and prosperity to your family. Never apologize for that.” She said, her hands coming up to touch his. “At least, that’s what my horoscope said today.”
Frozen stiff with both inspiration and irritation, Sung found himself bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at her words.
How did she do that?
How did she make him feel strong even when he felt at his weakest?
Why had he waited so long to get close to her?
Why did he still find himself waiting?
Moving one of his hands to the back of her neck, Sung inched his face closer.
Any other woman would have shied away from his touch by now.
Yet Lisa stood there and looked at him.
As if she knew what Sung wanted to do.
As if she had been waiting just as long as he had.
But he was an aspiring idol.
He couldn’t let himself—
She licked her lips, and as if his body had given his logical mind a big, fat fuck you, Sung found himself taking Lisa’s lips in a passionate kiss filled with heat and hunger.
She didn’t need a moment to collect herself. Not when her hungry kisses told him, about damn time.
His hands moved down her body, pushing down her tank top so that her breasts could pop out of the top.
The soft push of her breasts against his cotton shirt had them both moaning.
He pushed her back until they were up against the mirrored wall.
Her fingers worked at freeing him from his belt buckle as his free hand easily pulled down her sweatpants.
Once she got his jeans free, Sung gripped her ass and lifted her up, letting himself rub against her wet heat before slowly easing her onto him.
“Fuck,” she moaned in English.
Her hands moved to touch his chest.
Leaning his head against hers, Sung locked eyes with Lisa, waiting for her to catch his gaze as they moved together in a slow heat. A heat that grew hotter and hotter with each stroke.
The English words she muttered became harder and harder to understand as he picked up speed.
“I love you,” Sung whispered in Japanese, too afraid to say it in English or Korean.
They both came then.
His body was so weak that he had to lower them both to the floor.
Their breathing was heavy as they held each other, not yet wanting to be apart.
“Be mine,” he said as Lisa reached up to fix his newly blond hair.
A light yet sad smile pulled at Lisa’s lips as she kissed him.
“We both know that’s not a good idea, Sung. Whatever agency you’ve picked will want you to focus on your career, not a girlfriend.”
“I wasted a year too afraid to be your friend and another two years trying to talk myself out of falling for you. I don’t want to waste any more time, Liz. You can pretend to be my own personal dancing coach or my vocal coach, or anything. Just stay by my side.”
He said it calmly, as if he were negotiating with her.
Silently, he watched as she bit her lip, deep in thought.
“Okay,” she said with a nod of her head.
“Okay?” he repeated, needing to hear it again.
“Yes, I’ll go with you. But I will take being your dancing coach very seriously. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, I get it,” he said, kissing her soft, plump lips. “Now let’s take this to the shower.”
Two weeks later, Sung Yoo found himself rushing into the dance studio with good news.
The first person he wanted to tell was Lisa.
But as soon as Sung looked around, he could feel that something was off.
No one was laughing or dancing.
The music was turned down low, so the soft voices could just barely be audible over it.
Huddled together in their own little cliques, everyone seemed to share a feeling of sadness.
It made Sung frown as he put down his bag near the bench.
Lisa hated “island groups.”
She always wanted everyone in one big group. She felt it built trust and made it feel more like a family.
But today, Lisa was nowhere to be found.
Was she sick?
If that was so, then why wasn’t Lee out here?
He was the owner of the studio and had been the choreographer before he had “taken a chance on Lisa, the backpacker with incredible dance moves.”
Walking to the back office, Sung found Lee talking to Sung’s mother and now-manager, Mi Cha.
She wore a slick black dress with a simple yet elegant white-gold necklace. Just looking at her, one wouldn’t know she was a single mother who worked two jobs just to pay for his singing and dancing practice.
“Eomma, is something wrong?”
“No. I was just informing Mr. Lee of his employee’s unacceptable leave,” his mother snapped impatiently.
With a frown, Sung took another step into Lee’s office.
His heart felt like it was being stabbed.
“What do you mean?”
“Apparently, Miss Star’s husband came to collect her. Something about him getting a raise, or something like that.”
His mother waved her hand as if she could wave away her own words.
“Didn’t think she was the type of girl to abandon her husband over money problems, but to leave so suddenly! You would think she had something she cared about to stay for.”
She turned to Lee, no longer talking to her son.
Husband?
No… no…
They were wrong.
She loved him.
She said she loved him.
Feeling lightheaded, Sung gasped for air, surprised to realize he had been holding his breath.
“Sung, are you alright? You look pale.”
Who was speaking?
Sung swallowed his pain as he nodded.
He needed to get out of here.
Feeling as if he were sleepwalking, Sung turned and left the room.
He didn’t need to hear anymore.
He couldn’t.
Not if he didn’t want his mother and everyone in the dance studio to see the raw rage and heartbreak that moved through him.
So he walked.
And walked.
And walked.
Until he found himself standing in front of Lisa’s studio apartment.
He knocked on the door…
But there was no answer.
He found himself growing more and more angry as his mind pulled up every word, kiss, and look she had ever given him.
All the sweet words of reassurance.
Lies.
All the talk of what they would do after he retired…
Lies.
Lies.
He knocked on her door again, needing her to explain.
He could forgive her if she just explained.
But she never answered.
Because she was a liar.
And he would never forgive her for making him love her.
