Chapter 1
A/N: BEWARE, THIS IS DARK ROMANCE. A LOT OF THEMES, SCENES AND THE PLOT ITSELF MIGHT NOT SIT RIGHT WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE. CHECK THE TAGS BEFORE YOU CONTINUE. AND THIS STORY WILL REMAIN FREE ONLY FOR A SHORT TIME.
ANAYA
“Just a little more.” I whimpered, aching my back. One tap and the rhythm of the vibrator changed, causing my toes to tingle. My nerves came alive and my toes curled as the tension from my ribs exploded into my spine. I jammed my lips together, stopping another sound from escaping and stole a glance at the other side of the bed.
“Fuck…” I breathed out gripping the bedsheet a bit tighter as my walls clenched and unclenched, the nerves riding through my body, tightening around my muscles, chest and nose.
“Almost there.”
Electricity shot through my spine, tightening around my core.
“Fuck.” I moaned, begging for release.
“Anaya, what’s that noise?” Julian’s groggy voice came from the other side of the bed and I stiffened. The electricity sizzled out like running water and a familiar feeling washed all over me. I swallowed hard and shut my eyes tightly.
“My phone.”
“Shut it off, I am tired and I need to sleep.” He groaned and pulled the blanket over himself.
“Yes, sorry.” I turned off the vibrator, stilling my breath. I remained that way till I heard him breathing loudly again.
Afraid he would wake up soon, I got up from the bed and headed into the bathroom, where I took off my damp nightwear and turned to the mirror. My skin was flushed red, and my hair was a mess. I looked away, unable to bear the sight of myself and turned on the shower. It was my second shower for the night, but I couldn’t stop scrubbing till I was red all over.
My alarm came on right when I came out of the bathroom, so rather than head back to bed, I dressed up, dabbed my face with little makeup just as Julian’s like it and went straight to the kitchen.
An hour later, Julian walked down the stairs, dressed and ready for his day.
“Hey honey,” I smiled, pouring him his usual cup of coffee. Eyes on his phone, he took the cup and turned to the table. My smile dropped and the usual prick in my chest returned. I pushed it away, wore my smile again and laid out his breakfast.
“You should turn that alarm off, or better still, sleep on the couch if it has to wake me up like that again.” He entered. I stiffened and looked away.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize how early it was.”
“You should.”
“I understand.”
He lifted his gaze from his phone and for the first time all morning, he turned to me. My heart stopped and my smile widened.
“You know how stressful work gets for me, right?”
I nodded.
“If I can’t sleep, I can’t get anything done, if I don’t get anything done, you will not have all the things that you do now.”
“To live so carefree, where all your needs are provided for you. This is the dream of a lot of women, and you have that.”
My smile cracked and bile rose from my throat. I swallowed it down.
“I won’t be able to provide any of this if I don’t sleep well or rest properly, alright, honey.”
“Yes, I know, I am sorry. It won’t happen again.”
He smiled.
“I know, Anaya. I know.” He turned to his breakfast.
“Let’s have breakfast.”
My stomach hollowed out. If I was hungry before, I wasn’t anymore.
“Go on, I will have mine later, I still have things to do.”
“Come on, let’s eat. This is the only time I get to spend with you.”
“Moreover, it’s not like you have much to do at home. The house helps will be here soon.” He raised his gaze, meeting my eyes.
Salt rose to the back of my throat and tears burned the back of my eyes. I pushed them back.
“Come sit.” He smiled, again, his eyes brightening just a bit, revealing the man I knew and fell in love with. Maybe that smile was his trick, it had always been his trick, to be able to loosen the knot in my stomach.
I sat down as he wanted and that smile widened. His charm on full display, so much so, I could not look away. This was the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. And these days he rarely smiled at me, so whenever he does, I took everything like a starved child. Then I think, maybe, just maybe, this was our first step to going back to how we used to be. But he picked up his phone the next second and paid more attention to it than he did me. And when he was done with his breakfast, he simply got up, wore his jacket and turned to the door.
A hole opened where my chest was supposed to be. But I smiled still, he loved it when I smiled, even when I was sure he wasn’t looking at me. I followed behind him and watched him open the door. Then he turned back to me, without looking away from his phone.
“See you when I get back.” He turned back around. The burn at the back of my eyes returned as I watched him walk away. He got into his car and drove out, yet I didn’t move away from where I stood. Something in me still hoped he would come back. That he would kiss me. Even if it was at my cheek or my head. Something in me hoped he would return, even if it was simply to look at me.
Pushing back the burn was harder than it usually was. My vision blurred and I blinked a couple of times to get past it. Then I took a deep breath.
I made my way back upstairs. And was going to just lay on the bed when the doorbell rang. Thinking it would be house help, I ignored it. She had her keys and wouldn’t come in through the front door. However, the bell rang again. I frowned and reluctantly made my way downstairs.
“Hello bitch.” Talia, my bestfriend shrieked. I slammed my hands over my ears till she was done.
“What are you doing here, Talia?” I walked back into the house.
“Uhhh, don’t give me that stupid attitude, where has your phone been?” She walked past me and let herself into the kitchen.
“Upstairs I think.” I said and slumped into the nearest stool, tired. I didn’t get to sleep even once throughout the night.
“Yeah, while you go about satisfying that ungrateful husband of yours.” She glared at me. But I wasn’t in the mood for her and her thoughts about my marriage. However, she offered it anyway.
“I told you to leave that man already, Anaya.”
“Marrying at nineteen isn’t always the best. You have your whole life ahead of you and that fucker just keeps you trapped in here like a well-bred fish.”
“Not a cat, not a dog, a fucking fish. I don’t think you even know how to breathe oxygen if you step out of this house.”
“I am not trapped or caged, Talia.” I sighed, tired of having this conversation again.
“I can go out and do whatever I feel like doing.”
“I can go out and do whatever I feel like doing.” We said at the same time. She, with a more mocking tone. I rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious about this, Anaya.”
“You are twenty-three years, and you are wasting your life over a man that doesn’t love you.”
“He does love me, Talia.” I got up, refusing to engage in this topic of discussion again.
“Yes, tell me, when was the last time he said that.” She followed me.
“When was the last time he got you something nice.”
“He gives me all the money I will ever need, I don’t need him getting anything for me.” I snapped, opening the door to my bedroom and aiming to slam it in her face but she walked right through, stopping the door.
“When was the last time he looked at you then?”
My heart sliced open and I caught my reflection in the mirror. I hated having to makeup every day, especially when it was the same mild look all the time, but Julian said I had to look presentable and proper all the time. Anyone could see my pictures in the tabloids. He came from old, rich money and I had to fit into his profile even if I was nothing.
“Or took you out a date. A stroll, or even a fucking movie?” Talia continued.
“He has been busy, working.” I retorted.
“That’s not what his socials says.”
“Those are work trips.” I have hosted a couple of parties to know. Business could be done anywhere and Julian was a well sort after man.
“When was the last time he touched you then?” She snapped.
The hole in my heart opened even wider and my eyes automatically turned to my wardrobe where I hid the vibrator.
“Wait, Anaya.” Talia frowned.
“When was the last time you had sex?” Like the fucking leech she zoomed in at that moment, smelling blood.
Tears ran down my cheeks before I could stop it and a sob busted out of me.
“That son of a bitch.” Talia pulled me into herself. I pushed her away, needing control. This was stupid. How could I cry because of sex?
“I am fine, we are fine, this is just a phase,” I breathed in and wiped my cheeks.
“A phase?”
“How long has it been?”
I didn’t answer.
“How long has it been since your husband touched you, Anaya?” She yelled. Tears rolled down on my cheeks again and I crossed my hand over my chest and looked away.
“Three years.”
