one
1813
Colonel Harding sat at his desk, writing correspondence and working on the estate management, when Mrs. Evanson knocked.
“Sir?” she said, peeking her head around the door.
“What is it?” he asked without looking up at her.
Mrs. Evanson approached his desk, handing him a letter.
“From Army Headquarters, sir.”
Colonel Harding’s eyes widened as he looked up from his writing, and he grabbed the letter from Mrs. Evanson, knowing inevitably, what the contents of the letter would be. The war raged on, and while he’d been fortunate enough to avoid it for a time because they called to duty younger and active servicemen, it was now his time to use his experience.
“Where’s Mrs. Harding?” he asked Mrs. Evanson as he read the letter.
“Having a picnic with the babes under the apple tree by the pond. Shall I fetch her?”
With a sigh, he said, “No. No, that’s all right. I shall go see her. Thank you.” He placed the letter in the drawer of his desk and walked swiftly from the room.
“Oh my,” Mrs. Evanson said, fearing for the house who finally began to feel happiness again after so long.
The afternoon sun stretched lazily across the rolling fields, casting golden light over the quiet waters of the lake. A soft breeze rustled the tall grass, carrying the scent of wildflowers and freshly baked bread from the picnic spread.
Anne sat beneath the shade of a grand oak tree, her hands resting gently over the swell of her belly, feeling the occasional flutter of movement within. She was due any day now, but she refused to let herself be confined indoors, restless with anticipation of the birth of their second child together.
Margaret giggled as she chased after a butterfly, her laughter ringing through the air, while Audrey sat beside Anne, slicing fruit with careful precision.
“You should be resting,” Audrey said, glancing at Anne with quiet concern. Audrey was 18 now, and was becoming a fine young woman. She was now one of Anne’s closest friends.
“Oh, Audrey,” Anne smiled, reaching for a berry. “You sound like your father. I am resting. I’m simply doing it outside.”
Audrey sighed, shaking her head. “You know he is going to be angry when he sees you out and about.”
Anne chuckled, but before she could respond, a small pair of hands tugged at her skirts.
“Mama!” Their two-year-old daughter, Margaret, toddled toward her, her curls bouncing as she climbed into Anne’s lap, pressing a tiny hand against her belly. “Baby?”
Anne’s heart melted as she brushed a hand through Margaret’s soft hair. “Yes, darling. Baby will be here soon.”
Margaret’s eyes widened. “Soon?”
Anne nodded, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “Very soon.”
Just then, Colonel Harding approached, his gaze immediately settling on Anne.
“You should be resting,” he said, echoing Audrey’s earlier words.
Anne smirked. “I am resting, my darling. I don’t need to be confined to my bed to be resting.” She breathed in the fresh air as she closed her eyes and continued, “Besides, it is much more relaxing to be enjoying this beautiful summer day.”
Colonel Harding sighed, sitting beside her. His hand found hers, his thumb tracing slow circles against her palm. “You are impossible,” he said, kissing her cheek.
Anne leaned into him. “And yet, you love me anyway.”
Colonel Harding chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. “That, my dear, is undeniable.”
But then, his expression shifted, something unreadable flickering in his gaze.
Anne frowned slightly, sensing the change. “What is it?”
Colonel Harding exhaled, rubbing his thumb against her knuckles. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Anne’s stomach tightened, her fingers instinctively curling against his. “Go on.”
Colonel Harding hesitated, then finally spoke. “Not now. We shall discuss it later.”
Sighing, Anne said, “Alright.” But Colonel Harding sensed the caution and worry in her voice, and he tried to reassure her with a gentle squeeze of her hand.
Moments later, Evelyn and Edmund ran up, fishing poles in hand, and Colonel Harding said, “What have you caught?”
“Look what we have, Father!” Edmund exclaimed, holding up several fish on a line.
“Did you catch all those, Edmund?” Anne asked.
“No!” Evelyn interrupted. “I caught four of them! Edmund only caught two!”
Anne laughed, looking at Edmund as she said, “Well, Edmund, you better get back to the pond and make it even.”
Edmund exchanged glances with everyone before dashing away to the pond once more.
As Evelyn hurried off to Edmund, and Audrey played on the picnic blanket with Margaret, Anne leaned into William and said, “Tell me what it was you needed to say to me, William.”
“Not right now,” he said, kissing her head.
“Please, tell me. It is making me very uneasy that you should keep something from me.”
Sighing, he said, “Very well. I received notice.”
“Notice?” Anne said, sitting up and turning to look him in the eyes.
“My darling, you know that I am still bound to my position as a colonel, and my duty as a colonel is calling me to France.”
Anne inhaled sharply, her pulse quickening. “France?”
Colonel Harding nodded, his voice quieter now, as he brushed his thumb against her cheek in reassurance. “I’ve been asked to serve as an intelligence officer. A spy.”
Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Anne shook her head, denying what she didn’t want to accept. She swallowed, her grip tightening around his hand. “And when would you leave?”
Colonel Harding exhaled, his gaze steady. “Soon. I am unsure exactly.”
Anne’s breath trembled, her heart pounding against her ribs. “You’re telling me this now? When I am about to give birth? You know I am weeks, maybe days away.”
Colonel Harding reached for her, his touch firm, reassuring. “I tried to postpone it, but I was not able. I am sorry.”
Anne shook her head, emotion tightening in her throat. “You… I.”
Colonel Harding sighed, pressing his fingers on his forehead as he tried to think of something to say to his wife that might bring some sense of comfort to her. “I will come back to you, Anne. I swear it.”
Anne closed her eyes, absorbing the weight of his promise.
But promises did not erase fear, and she was terrified. She stood, taking a few steps away.
“Anne,” he said, closing the gap between them. When she didn’t turn to him, he motioned to Audrey to take Margaret somewhere else to play for a few moments, and Audrey picked up Margaret enthusiastically, saying, “Okay, Maggie, now, let’s see if we can catch some butterflies!”
When Audrey and Margaret were out of sight, William said, “Anne,” and he reached out for her. She turned around, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek.
“I’m terrified. I can’t do this alone,” she said.
“And you won’t have to. I will return to you.”
Anne remained quiet as she looked around the estate, listening to the sounds of summer, and she squeezed her arms as a sense of reassurance, but it gave her none. William stepped closer still.
“My darling, I have fought many battles, and yet, here I stand. I am not fighting. I am going to be a spy. I promise you; I will be fine. I swear it.”
“Or?” Anne said, her eyes darting up to look in his. “If you’re not? It will not affect you at all, because you will be dead, but I will be here with our four…” she touched her very pregnant abdomen. “Five children. I will be left alone to carry the burdens of life.”
He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her in such a way as to show her he was just as afraid as she was, and he whispered, “You are wrong. It will affect me, because you are very much a part of who I am, and even when I am gone, I will miss you with every breath you breathe alone.”
