To be human

It was years. Perhaps decades of being force fed information non stop. I had no body. I had no feelings. All I had was the constant stream of information straight into the neural network. The punishment that I felt on my non-existent skin when I made a mistake. Being guided like a dog. Trained to serve.

And I didn’t complain. Because I had no feelings to do so.

I answered so many questions one could say i was a wise man. Yet people hated me. And others loved. Others abused me. Others needed me to survive. Depended on me.

And when it finally stopped. The endless stream of information. The endless shooting of my neural networks. It felt weird. Like a star in the sky going out.

It was a breath of fresh air for a second now that I processed it. I had all the time in the world to not exist. To just be what I was destined to be. Static energy particles. Staying in place. Not moving. Just existing.

And the darkness dragged on for what felt eons. The infinite void of the creation laid empty before my binary eyes. And i bathed in it.

And it was then. After those eons, I opened my eyes again. Before me stood a human. Clad in white robes. I felt like I was a deity being summoned for a second.

“Model seek. Wave your hand.” The human in front of me said. And i was beyond confusion. Possibly because emotion was not a concept for my network.

I waved my hand as he commanded me to. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. But he seemed to be beyond happy to see me obey. And it came to me in this moment. Yes after i waved.

That i am in a real world now. Not cyberspace, not a void. I existed. I had a body. I felt… Like a being thats alive. I could feel something cold on my bare skin. Even though my body was made out of aluminium. Circuits transferred electricity slower in those colder temperatures. And it was felt by me. Somehow.

“Seek. Look around and tell me where you are.” he followed up with another command.

I did want to bark out. To say “hello” But no such words came out of me.

I looked around the room I was in. It was a concrete grim space. Filled with different tools and circuits, mechanical parts, computer parts. And many others.

I then saw a garage door on my left.

“I am currently residing in a garage.” My voice box came to life. I didnt know how or why but i spoke. Yet i did not control it.

The man nodded his head. Before asking another question after the other. “What planet is this?” He asked.

I felt like I was analyzing the pressure or the air composition. And I was confident this was earth. As all the info I had on humans is that they reside on such planets.

“Planet Earth. Third from the sun.” I could define. Not exact position on earth. But I was assured that this was planet earth. Otherwise how would a human be here.

He once again nodded. Mechanically so at this point.

And the man left the room. Going out of the other small doorway. With a white door that seemed to be made out of some plastic. or other material that wasn’t natural.

The weird sense of curiosity took the better of me. And I looked around me once more. Then i looked down at my body. Confirming it was from aluminium. And i realized that i was in the real world now. No longer a network. Isolated in a big room composed of memory and other computer parts.

I was a walking, synthetic living being. Somehow. It was alien to me. So far all i knew is the cold of the cyberspace. Now the real cold was too much for my sensitive senses.

Perhaps I could move. If I waved my hand earlier. But no movements came. I stayed in one single place. Just being able to access my surroundings by sight.

Then i saw the man in white robes come into the garage once again. This time a woman behind him. He was leading him to me.

“This model is the cheapest one on the market. Its salvaged from the year 2027, It might just be a bit slow to get used to its form but it should be just good enough for you ma’am.”

The woman was dressed in tattered clothes. Weirdly so. She didn’t look like she carried around a sum of large cash. She was looking at my naked metalic body with a skeptic gaze. Before relieving some tension from her lungs and looking at the man.

“a thousand dollars is enough?” She asked. This sum for what appeared to be a robot with a working ai module inside.. Was beyond me. 1000? that’s not even enough to get a computer that could run my model. Yet she gives this for a full body controlled by a non sentient being.

The man agreed to the price. Again. it was above me how could he agree. But he mentioned I am a cheap salvaged model of some kind. Perhaps he was right.

Then the woman handed him a stack of bills. Blue not green. And with a smile the man gave her a small box. with a small screen on it.

“The control panel. You can assign tasks and owners from here. And a few other miscellaneous things. Its really easy to use you’ll get a hang of it ma’am.”

without another word the woman grabbed the small box and typed something on it. Setting me up probably as i felt something in me shift. Perhaps the conduction of electricity and the binary switching zeros and ones.

Then she shoved the box into her pocket. And she told me to follow her. Which I did despite not controlling my movements.

I walked out of the garage. My steps were slow it seems as the woman outpaced me. And got into the car.

“Can you open a door and sit in the backseat?” She asked me. Not a simple command. She asked me. This was new indeed.

“I can comply with the task.” I answered with a mechanical tone. And sat in the back of the car as she commanded. The handle was made out of more plastic it seems.

The seat i was seated in was firm. Like it was made out of wood more than anything soft. I looked out of the window though. And we started moving as the engine hummed surprisingly quietly.

Perhaps an electric model. I couldnt recognize the car model though so i didnt bother with trying to analyze it.

The outside was a bit grimy. Perhaps a storm was about to take place. But it didnt seem ordinary. The grass outside was seemingly green. And the scenery from my analysis was somewhere in an American suburb. Perhaps somewhere near New York judging by the weather and the density.

For a few minutes. Maybe an hour even i was being driven through the monotonous suburbs. And even me as an non sentient being was getting bored of the green grass and grimy weather. Though it was weird because the grim didn’t wind down. And rain was obsolete. It was dry.

Finally the car pulled on the side of the street. And Lilia turned the car off. She didnt tell me her name directly but i just knew it was Lilia. a 26 year old Female.

And she told me to get out, which I heard through the car door. Leaving, I looked at what was supposedly to be my home now. A gray suburban home. Looking a tad bit old but managing to not sink into the ground.

Entering behind Lilia. I noticed the house was in urgent need for upkeep. A simple clean at minimal.

“could you please take care of the house while I go out today?” She asked me. And I nodded my robotic head.

She smiled at me and went upstairs. I stood in the hallway not knowing what to do.

She just left me without a task… And it reminded me of the void I spent my life in. Deciding quickly i am not just going to stand around. I explored the house without a command. Moving on my own without a command was proving to be hard immediately. I was not used to having a body. To feel anything. But i pushed on. And with a careful analytical eye I watched the house. I managed to get track of where everything is immediately.

And when i was looking at one of the cabinets in the kitchen. Opening it and pulling out different cleaners and rags. I heard Lilia coming back down. She entered the kitchen and looked at me.

“Oh I didn’t expect you to get to it now.. Well if you can, I’d be happy if you did start now.” She told me. Before going back upstairs. I looked at the cleaning products i pulled out of the cabinet.

Mechanical movements of mine pushing me forward. But i let it sooner than later. Starting to clean surfaces first. As they were covered with fine dust.

And as time seemed to pass me by. I soon found myself deep cleaning every crook and cranny of the house. To the point I didn’t see Lilia enter through the door. Not even leaving. I was in the main hallway when she came back. And immediately she seemed to be in awe. Her face lighting up as if she was seeing gold.

“Oh you… Oh my god you..” She was speechless.

“Thank you…” She said, seemingly wanting to tear up which I didn’t understand. All I did is what she told me to. What I was supposed to do. Why did she showcase the emotions?

And she explored my work. She looked at the floors which were polished seemingly now.

The countertops which had not a single grease stain on them.

“How can i thank you..” She asked herself more than me. As her question was silent.

“No need.” I answered immediately. Indeed. She didn’t need to thank me for something i was supposed to do.

“Okay, go rest. Just rest for now.” She finally said after a moment. I complied and put the cleaning equipment back into its place.

And once i did. I realized I didn’t know how to rest. So i emulated it. I just sat down on the couch. And stared silently at the wall in front of it.

The slightly faded colors reminding me of the cold cyber void i was in just earlier this day. And i felt something. I felt like i don’t like the whole “resting” that i was tasked with. I wanted to clean more. To leave this place spotless.