Neon and the Midnight City

The dressing room is loud.

Too loud.

Flat irons hissing. People are laughing. Someone arguing about eyeliner like it’s life or death. Someone else singing scales they definitely didn’t warm up for.

And me, I’m just... sitting here. Staring at myself. The mirror feels too honest tonight.

The fluorescent lights hit every detail I usually ignore.

My black glasses sit slightly crooked on my nose.

My hair—straightened for once—falls past my chest, too neat, too controlled, like it’s pretending to be something it’s not.

My nails are painted black. A little chipped already.

I lean in closer.

Study my face like I’m trying to figure out a stranger.

My lips.

My nose.

My eyes.

There’s always this feeling I can’t explain.

Like I don’t fully belong to the reflection staring back at me.

Not in a dramatic way.

Just... off.

Like I’m wearing myself instead of being myself.

“Neon, if you don’t stop staring like that you’re gonna freak yourself out,” someone laughs next to me, bumping my shoulder.

I blink.

Force a smile.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m good.”

I’m not.

But I don’t know how to explain why.

Above the door, the name of the school is printed in gold lettering:

Starlight Conservatory for Performing Arts

A place where everyone is supposed to shine.

Where most people already know who they are.

Where I’m still trying to figure out if I even fit.

I glance across the room.

My band is getting ready.

Solace is leaning against the wall, tuning his guitar like the noise around him doesn’t exist. He’s calm in a way I don’t understand. Like he’s not trying to be anything, he justis.

Justin’s sitting nearby, messing with his bass, distracted but present.

Mei is at the keyboard, focused, precise, like everything she touches has purpose.

Valentina is spinning her drumsticks, grinning like she’s already on stage.

We don’t match anyone else here.

That’s why we found each other.

“Places in five!”

The room shifts instantly.

People start moving, grabbing things, checking themselves one last time.

“Neon, come on,” Valentina calls. “Don’t disappear on us.”

“I’m coming,” I say.

But I don’t move.

Not yet.

One by one, they leave.

The noise fades.

And suddenly,

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

Just me.

And the mirror.

And that feeling again.

The door opens behind me.

I already know who it is before I turn.

“Baby,” my mom says softly.

Something in me relaxes.

Just a little.

I turn around.

She walks toward me, warm like she always is. Safe. Familiar.

“You ready?” she asks.

I nod.

“I think so.”

She puts her hands on my shoulders, grounding me.

“You don’t have to be perfect,” she says. “Just be you.”

My chest softens.

“Okay,” I whisper.

She leans down and kisses my forehead.

And for a second

Everything feels normal.

Then my dad steps forward.

And something inside me tightens.

I don’t know why.

I hate that I don’t know why.

“Look at you,” he says.

I turn to face him.

His eyes stay on me longer than I expect.

Long enough that I notice.

Long enough that I feel it.

And I wish I didn’t.

“You’re growing up,” he says.

The words are normal.

The way he says them isn’t.

My stomach twists.

I feel... exposed.

And I don’t understand why.

He pulls me into a hug.

I freeze.

At first, I think I’m overthinking.

But then...

He holds me too close.

Too long.

My body goes stiff without me meaning to.

My hands awkwardly press against his back like I’m trying to end it without actually pulling away.

My chest feels tight.

My breathing shallow.

Something inside me is screaming

this doesn’t feel right but I shove it down.

Because that’s my dad.

Right?

He lets go.

“Go make us proud,” he says.

I nod.

But my hands feel cold now.

My mom squeezes my shoulder.

“We love you.”

Then they leave.

The silence they leave behind feels different.

Heavier.

Like something is sitting in the room with me.

I turn back to the mirror.

Look at myself again.

Really look this time.

My eyes search my reflection like it’s supposed to give me answers.

Why did that feel like that?

I inhale.

Slow.

Deep.

Exhale.

Shake my head.

“No,” I whisper.

“Not right now.”

I adjust my glasses.

Fix my hair.

Press my lips together.

“You’re okay,” I tell myself.

“You’re okay.”

I don’t fully believe it.

But I say it anyway.

A knock breaks the moment.

“Two minutes!”

My heart jumps.

I stand.

My boots hit the floor louder than I expected.

Everything suddenly feels real again.

The hallway is dim.

The sound of the crowd leaks through the walls.

Laughter.

Voices.

So many people.

Waiting.

I reach the curtain.

It’s huge.

Black.

Heavy.

Like a line I can’t uncross once I step through.

I peek through it.

Just a little.

The auditorium is packed.

Faces blur together under the lights.

Students.

Parents.

Teachers.

But then,

I see them.

Front row.

My mom.

Smiling.

And my dad.

Watching.

And the second I see him,

My chest tightens again.

Stronger this time.

Like something inside me reacts before I can stop it.

My breathing gets faster.

My hands shake.

Why does looking at him feel like this?

I pull back from the curtain.

Press my hands together.

Close my eyes.

“I don’t even know who I’m praying to,” I whisper.

“But... please.”

“Just help me get through this.”

My voice gets smaller.

“Let me be enough.”

For a second

Everything goes still.

I open my eyes.

And something inside me settles.

Not completely.

But enough.

I feel them before I see them.

My band.

My people.

Solace steps beside me.

Quiet.

Steady.

He doesn’t say anything.

Just nods.

And somehow

That makes me feel less alone.

Justin adjusts his bass.

Mei flexes her fingers over invisible keys.

Valentina taps her sticks together softly.

We’re ready.

I take one last breath.

Step into position.

The lights dim.

The crowd quiets.

And as the curtain starts to rise

Something deep inside me flickers.

Soft.

Faint.

Like a light I didn’t know was there.

Waiting.