Chapter 1
To my readers, if your love is a curse and kiss is a ruin, He would gladly lose himself than surviving you.
“Lanira…” “Lanira…” A faint whisper disappearing into ghostly traces.
The thick fog cloaking me stretches as far as I can see, ghostly white, several shadows disappearing near and far… I kept walking, my movements were swallowed by the mist.
What devours me is not the scare but the empty void inside me.
“Who am I?” “Where am I?”
I can’t seem to answer these simple questions. I questioned my existence.
His chilling voice cuts through, laced with darkness, an unsettling tone lingers in the air.
“This is the land between life and death. It’s called Aethergloam. When you cross, the destination is death. Aethergloam connects me and you, my little soul.”
“Don’t be surprised if I say this, you are lucky to find yourself in Aethergloam.”
Life and death? Destination is death? I am still alive, that’s what matters. If only I could stop here.
“How can I be lucky when my life is hanging by a thread?” I questioned baring my soul.
A hint of arrogance and smirk braiding in his every word.
“It’s not worse than crossing over to death, to me.”
“Being at Aethergloam can only mean there’s a thin chance of survival.” His whisper fills the air.
“Survival?” I breathed.
The mist clears into water droplets smashing against the ground beneath.
I kept walking without being able to control my moments. I tried to stop, resist the moment but couldn’t stop walking towards the destination despite knowing death awaits.
Walking on a surface that’s glittering blue, underneath lied a labyrinth of colorful stones. Taking a few steps forward, black rose petals decorated my path, darkness had found its place beside me.
I threaded through the darkness without a clue. The darkness clears up, light shines on me faintly, looking up, gazing at the galaxy of stars, I wondered whether the vast galaxy ever included me.
A sharp shriek intervened my thoughts.
“Help me.”
Gasping as I watched people getting devoured into the darkness I couldn’t see into.
“It’s the void between life and death, it marks the end of Aethergloam!!!” the voice screeched my ears.
But, why can’t I remember anything about my life?
“I refuse to disappear just like that, I deserve to know what my life was like or at least my identity. Tell me!”
There are a few people at a few feet away, and as far as I can observe, their clothes are either plain red, white or black. Only these three colors. But why am I wearing a green cloth?
“You are already dead.” He said.
“No, no, no it can’t be.” Anxiety washed over my face, “You said I was in-between the states, how could I be dead? Then what’s the point of crossing over to death when I am already dead!”
“My little soul, you are just a soul stuck in liminal space.”
I came to the realization, “Are you telling me, the liminal space is Aethergloam? The land for the living and dead… souls?” I exhaled. “The clothes, does it have a hidden meaning?”
He whispers, “Soul cloth represents how you died.”
I grew anxious, fearing I might have suffered the worst fate.
“I see no green… Why is my soul cloth green?”
Few crossed by themselves while others were pulled into darkness. The screams are screeching my ears, the cries pierced my heart.
“Tell me I have a better chance at being alive. Please, tell me that’s why my soul cloth is green.” I pleaded.
I have only one goal at this moment, to get out alive.
I don’t know the passage of time, if I were to be in a coma then my body would be intact but what if I get pulled like others… then I would reach the line of death at any moment, what if I was worse, gravely wounded and unconscious, I might only have a couple seconds to spare. Only if I could regain my memory.
My faith is disappearing as I see more and more people fading into the darkness.
Before I could acknowledge, a teardrop left my eyes. I smiled inside so at least I can cry for myself.
I am getting closer now…
But the hope, the burning flame inside me demands to know who I am even if it’s just a fraction of who I am. I want to see my reflection so desperately, at least I want to know what I looked like. No physical pain, no reflection and no shadow…
A woman was shining in white clothes.
“White soul cloth meant her soul passed away peacefully and was loved by everyone, red soul cloth meant the person was betrayed and killed, black soul cloth meant dying with no one to bury, a worse fate of a lonely soul.”
A man in gray soul cloth was drifting by the shadows into the sweeping darkness.
“He too got a unique soul cloth like me, what does gray soul cloth mean?”
“My little soul, gray soul cloth is pretty rare, he was killed by his lover.”
I question, “Why isn’t it black?”
I could hear his low smirk, “It could only mean he willingly died by her hands.” Feeling a presence behind me, fear ran over my spine, freezing chillness embraced me.
“Who are you? Why am I shaking?” I quivered.
The voice says, “Might be an evil spirit.”
Continuing on my path, my breath became stable, it can only mean the evil spirit is gone. What did I just feel?
Looking at my very own clothes, anxiety swallowed me. The color of my dress is changing to black then green, my breath became hollow, I gasped.
10 steps, 7 steps…
I am closer, too close.
I now see some people disappearing either screaming or uttering someone’s name or weeping.
“I have a chance, if they can get back, why can’t I?”
5 steps…
I see through the void, I can see into the darkness on the other side.
“It’s so beautiful.” A galaxy of stars floated across the black ocean that was oddly calm with no waves.
I can’t be in awe because it’s the land for the dead. I saw many boats, candles were lit alongside the boat and lanterns of different colors were hung. Each boat had a person who was dressed in black and was wearing a black mask that completely hid their face well, a long black coat adorned was touching the boat. All I could see was black waters that looked like a black sea reflecting the stars.
2 steps…
I closed my eyes, yelling, “Tell me what a green soul cloth meant!!!”
“Do you not want to save your soul anymore?” the man’s voice from earlier echoed piercing the darkness.
His deep voice made me open my eyes. I stood here unmoved, only 1 step remained.
A purple light formed in his hands, hitting me.
“You wished to know at least how you died, I can grant that wish.” His cold voice comforted me oddly.
He was on a boat that was right before me. So, he is a grim reaper?
“Seeing your determination, I thought I could fulfill this little wish of yours before you crossover.”
Although his voice was arrogant and cold, it gave me a little warmth that there’s someone who can hear my miserable cry of help.
Scattered black roses and water droplets formed a soul mirror, the mirror was veiled in mist.
“Once you touch the mirror, your true soul cloth will be revealed.”
I dare not touch it, the least thing I want to know is I was killed and betrayed by the person I trusted my life with… or what if I died with no one to bury me?
His cold laugh sent me shivers.
“Is it funny to mock me, you are a grim reaper, hence human emotions are nothing but a laughingstock.” I stated calmly, hiding my fear.
You want me to die, a nobody, no way. I will buy as much as my time, I am counting on my consciousness, I- I just have to retrieve my memory, I will leave here just like the other people. I have hope.
“No way, my little soul.” He startled me with a ghostly whisper.
What! He can hear my inner voice?
“How shameless of you to intrude my thoughts!” I shot back.
I blinked rapidly, “You are awful, mocking me for my desperation. Insulting human emotions.” I sneered.
I could hear him smirk, “Too soon to conclude you’re a human. I am curious, why you? Without your memory, you think you are a human?”
“Then, you tell me. What am I if not a human!?” I tried manipulating him to answer.
He says, “Aren’t you more curious why you have no memories, never have I ever seen a soul enter without memory. There’s a curse placed on you, my little soul.”
Curse?
“The only way left for you is death.”
He whispers, “Green soul cloth means there’s a curse on you.”
“What kind of curse?” my heart hammered against my hollow breath.
“The Hazebane curse makes sure the person dies with no chance of reincarnation.”
Clutching my clothes, panic shots, I ask, “Would the soul get trapped in this land?”
Laughing, “Worse, no souls get trapped here. Souls that were cursed by Hazebane will fade into oblivion as it spends time in the destination.”
Silence trapped us.
I broke the silence by asking, “Who can break the curse?”
“I. Can.”
Those two words pumped my heart with renewed hope.
“Who did this to me? My soul would rest only if I avenge myself.” My veins popped in anger.
Begging desperately even in the face of death, I was unwilling to resign myself to life.
“My little soul, I can unlock your memories if you want me to.”
“Stop calling me as My little soul.” I clenched my fist.
My skin crawls when he addresses me as his little soul, I don’t want him to remind me I am dead with every sentence.
“Is that a request?” His voice was calm yet with a touch of arrogance.
“I didn’t cross over yet, so I am someone with an identity, moreover you have to unlock my memory if you are capable. Go on, break my curse.”
“Very eager to leave or eager to save yourself another lifetime.” His voice became tense.
The purple light emerged swirling in his hand. I went blank not knowing what he was up to!
“Once a grim reaper calls a name, the soul is bound to crossover by itself.”
Cold sweat dipped my palms.
“Still with identity, huh? Is that what you said? Fine, I will acknowledge your identity by calling out your name.”
“STOP!”
The light is now swirling around me, I floated! Floated above the smoky line!
My nails bite into my palms, I feel as if my soul is getting devoured. Deprived of my consciousness.
I heard him say “Lanira” in his cold distant voice.
“Lanira…” I breathed as my eyelids snapped shut.
