Chapter 1
She was too young for this.
Too young to know how to take apart a rifle faster than most soldiers. Too young to understand why silence felt safer than speaking.
General Marcus Hale had pulled her out of a place that didn't exist on any map. A facility that had trained her to kill before she could properly read.
Now, for the first time, she wasn't being told what to do.
Colonel Nathan Rowan stood by the door, watching without a word.
The girl sat on the edge of the bed in the small, unfamiliar room assigned to her. In front of her, on the bed, was something harmless. Something normal.
A box of LEGO pieces. She stared at them like they were a puzzle she didn't know how to solve.
─ You know I know you're there, right...? she said giving the Colonel from the doorway a sideways look with her sage green eyes, her cooper red locks framing her face.
─ I'm not staring. he replied crossing his arms. I'm watching over you because you're under my supervision. his gaze shifted to untouched pieces scattered across her bed. Having trouble with those?
─ No... she nudged a blue brick with her finger. I just don't understand their purpose. she sighed, leaning back against the pillow. Assembling a gun is more easier. And it had a bigger purpose than...
─ The purpose is to have fun assembling it. he said. Not what you can do with it after.
─ Well, I've been trying for over twenty minutes to figure out what to do with these. Does it look like I'm having fun? she muttered, pointing at herself, her sage green eyes, sharp and raw, staring straight at him.
The Colonel shook his head with a soft sigh, finally admitting to himself that the puzzle was making her more annoyed and confused than reliving some stress.
─ What am I going to do with you... he murmured quietly, his words sounding more like they were directed at himself than to her.
─ Throw me to the wolves, I don't know. she replied dryly.
─ Not gonna happen kid. he said simply without even hesitating, his words firm but not unkind.
─ Worth the shot. Whatever, I'm tired of this blocks. She gathered the colorful pieces back into the box.
─ What did they do to you... he muttered, again this didn't seem to be directly at her, more like a rhetorical question.
─ Sorry? she frown, staring directly into his soul, trying to read his thoughts.
He froze for half a second, realizing he had muttered it at loud, and that she had heard him. He stayed silent for a few beats, clearly weighting how to answer. It wasn't an easy question, after all, it involved a lot of not so nice things.
─ Kid, I've been in military for long time. I've seen and dealt with a lot of sh... stuff. he started out slowly, thinking over his words carefully, he's not used talking to children after all, he wasn't a soft person exactly.
─ If you try to hide your frustration, you're doing a horrible job. she cuts in.
Suddenly a knock on the half-open door pulled both of their attention. When he turned around he saw the Dr. Evelyn Hart, the psychologist that had been assigned to take her case.
─ I hope I'm not interrupting anything... she said, her tone soft but professional.
─ No. I was just leaving. the colonel answer, he straightened his posture and stepped towards the door, closing it behind him with a soft click.
He walking on the hallway of his private quarters trying to clear his thoughts. Dealing with a traumatized teenager who was forcibly recruited and trained as a child soldier is not easy. Add anger-management issues, deep abandonment wounds, and severe trust problems, and the weight of it all pressed heavily on him.
Where had his mind been when he agreed with this? But none of that mattered anymore. He couldn't back down now. Not when that kid needs him.
✧✧✧
Inside the room, Dr. Hart waited a beat before speaking, giving Carol space to breath.
─ You look disappointed that he left. she said gently, pulling a chair closer, but not sitting yet.
─ I'm not. Carol replied instantly, arms crossing. He hovers too much.
─ Does it bother you?
─ No. Yes. I don't know. He just... Stands there. Like a statue with opinions.
─ Statues don't usually care this much. she allowed herself a small smile.
Carol rolled her eyes, not trusting the words of the woman, in her mind nobody care, unless they have something to gain from it.
─ Sure... Whatever...
Dr. Hart finally sat, keeping a respectful distance between her and the girls with cooper red hair that was reaching under her chin.
─ I've heard you were trying the LEGO set.
─ Trying. Carol repeted, poiting at the discarded box beside her bed with a sigh. I don't get the point. It's like colorful uselessness.
─ Not everything needs a purpose. Dr. Hart said. Sometimes things exist just to be enjoyed.
─ That's stupid.
─ Maybe... But sometimes "stupid" things help the brain rest.
─ My brain doesn't do "rest". Carol replied dryly, looking away, jaw tightening.
─ I know... she said, her voice stady. That's why we're talking.
─ Talking about what? her sage green eyes flicked back to the woman in front of her.
─ About whatever you want. Or whatever you don't. Both tell me something.
─ You're doing that therapist thing again. Carol remarked with a slightly warning tone, her eyes narrowed slightly.
─ I am a therapist.
─ Yeah, but you're doing that thing. The "I'm calm and patient and I see through your soul" thing.
─ I promise, I'm not trying to see though your soul. she let out a quiet breath that was almost a laugh.
─ Good. Because it's none of your business.
─ You're right. the woman replied, nodding. It's not my business unless you choose to share it.
That made Carol pause. Just a fraction. But enough.
─ ...He said something weird before he left, she muttered.
─ The Colonel?
Carol nodded.
─ He said "What did they do to you." like I'm some broken thing.
─ Did it upset you?
─ Yes. I don't like when adults say things they don't explain.
─ Would you like me to explain what he meant? Dr. Hart leaned forward, slightly, elbows on her knees, posture open.
─ Maybe. Carol's eyes flickered, curiosity, fear, defiance, all tangled.
─ He wasn't calling you broken, Carol. she said softly. He was blaming the people who hurt you. Not you.
She doesn't answer. She just pulled her knees to her chest, chin resting on them, eyes distant, partially covered by her hair. While Dr. Hart didn't comment either. She simply sat with her, letting the silence settle without pressure.
After a long moment, Carol spoke again, voice small but steady.
─ I don't know how to do this.
─ Do what?
─ Be... Here. Be normal. Be whatever you want me to be.
─ Carol, she shook her head gently. I don't want you to be anything, except honest. And safe.
─ ...That's it? she blinked, surprised by the simplicity of it.
─ That's it.
─ That sounds... easier. Carol let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.
─ It would be easier. Not today. Not tomorrow. But eventually.
─ Can we not talk about feelings anymore?
─ Of course. Dr. Hart said, standing. We can talk about LEGO instead.
─ That's worse. Carol groaned dramatically.
─ Then you choose the topic next time.
Carol looked up at her, shoulders loosen up slightly, still guarded, but not closed.
─ ...Maybe.
✧✧✧
The hallway outside the Colonel quarters felt colder than usual. Nathan rubbed a hand over his face, trying to push away the heaviness sitting behind his eyes. He didn't make it far down the corridor before he heard a familiar voice.
─ Colonel.
General Marcus Hale stood at the far end of the corridor, arms behind his back, posture still, but not rigid. Nathan straightened instinctively, years of discipline snapping into place.
─ Sir.
Hale nodded once, then motioned for him to follow.
─ Walk with me.
They walked in silence until they reached the briefing room. Empy, quiet, dimly lit. Hale sits down on the table and invited Nathan to take a sit.
─ I spoke with Social Services this morning. Hale began. They're moving forward with placement options.
─ Placement? Nathan's jaw tightened, his ocean blue eyes squinted.
─ A foster home, Rowan. A normal environment. A chance for a normal life.
Nathan let out a a slow breath through his nose. He'd expected this conversation eventually. Just not today. Not this soon after only ten days since she tasted how freedom feels for the first time in it her entire life. Not after hearing her voice crack in that room. Not after seeing the way she curled on herself when she thought no one is watching.
─ With all due respect, sir, Nathan being, his voice firm, calculated. She's not ready for that.
Hale's expression didn't change.
─ No child is ever "ready" for a normal life after what she been through. That's why she needs stability.
─ Sir. She's anything but normal. You can't just drop her in a house with, strangers and expect her to act like a regular thirteen-years-old...
─ Continue... Hale nods with a small hand signal.
─ She wasn't just traumatized. She was built for something. Conditioned. Structured form the ground. She didn't want to talk about it. Nathan paused, choosing his words carefully. You don't undo that by placing her in a quiet house with people and expect her to adjust.
─ A foster placement would give her distance from this environment, Hale replied. From the military. From everything that reinforce that conditioning. It would remain the official recommendation, he said. It stands unless I have enough reasons to override it.
NA: Enjoy a picture of Carol. It's not mine, I found it on Pinterest made with a face app, but it's really look like how I imagined here.
