Chapter 1 - Between Alarms
When Jin and Lulu walked into the company, they were carrying a tote bag between them.
Lulu was dressed the way only Jin could dress her without apology: oversized dark denim overall shorts with little graphic details, layered over a loose white T-shirt, white socks, chunky black platform shoes, a black shoulder bag, and a black choker. She looked soft and small and expensive in that accidental way she always did when she wore whatever Jin picked without arguing too much.
They went straight to the Sol7 rehearsal studio.
The members looked up immediately.
Jin stepped just inside the room, glanced once around at all of them, then said, “Watch her. And no, she can’t go out without me.”
Dongmin blinked. “That sounds intense.”
Jin ignored him completely.
Then he turned and left.
For one second the room stayed still, everyone looking at Lulu like she had appeared out of nowhere, because in a way she had. She had not been here in months, not like this, not just walking into their practice room like she belonged in the middle of their day.
Lulu didn’t make a thing of it.
She just crossed the room and sat down on the floor beside Haesoo, who was already against the wall.
He looked at her for a second before saying, quieter than the others, “You came.”
She glanced up at him. “Yeah.”
That was all, but it changed his face anyway.
Minjae looked between them, then at the tote bag. “Why is Jin dropping you off like a package.”
Lulu set the bag down beside her and answered like this was obvious. “He says he’ll be here all day, so he feels more secure if I’m here instead of home.”
Joon leaned back on one hand and looked her over once. “That outfit looks childish.”
Lulu looked down at herself like she had forgotten what she was wearing. “Jin saw it in the kids’ section and bought it for me.”
That got a reaction out of everybody.
Dongmin sat up straighter. “The kids’ section?”
Lulu nodded. “Yes.”
Taeyul looked at the overalls again. “That’s actually insane.”
Lulu shrugged. “It fits.”
Joon’s mouth twitched once. “That’s not really the issue.”
Haesoo looked at her clothes, then at her face. “You let him buy you things from the kids’ section.”
She opened the tote bag and started taking things out. “I let him buy me whatever he wants if it saves time.”
Eunwoo laughed softly. “That sounds very you.”
Out of the bag came snacks, folded napkins, bottled water, and then a container. Lulu opened it and revealed chia pudding topped with coconut flakes, granola, green grapes, and almond slices.
Dongmin pointed immediately. “Of course he packed food.”
Lulu took the spoon. “He packed three meals.”
“Three,” Jisung repeated.
“And snacks,” Lulu said.
Joon looked at the tote bag with new respect. “That’s less a tote bag and more a domestic survival kit.”
Lulu scooped a bite of the chia pudding and started eating. Haesoo watched her for maybe three seconds before she held the spoon toward him without looking.
He blinked once. “What.”
“Open.”
Dongmin made a sound of immediate disgust. “No.”
Haesoo ignored him and took the bite.
Lulu took the next one herself, then another for him, alternating without discussion, like this was already a rhythm and everybody else just had the misfortune of seeing it.
Dongmin pointed at them both. “I hate this.”
Minjae didn’t look up from where he was stretching. “You hate everything.”
“No, I hate being here for this specifically.”
Lulu held the spoon toward Haesoo again. “He’s dramatic.”
Haesoo took the bite and said, “That’s accurate.”
Joon looked at the container. “You’re really just feeding him in the middle of rehearsal.”
Lulu glanced at him. “Yes.”
“Why.”
She looked mildly confused by the question. “Because he’s right here.”
That shut Joon up for a second.
Haesoo’s mouth moved at one corner, and he took another bite when she offered it. By the time they finished, the container was empty and Dongmin looked personally betrayed by the whole thing.
Lulu set the empty container aside, reached back into the tote bag, and pulled out a small pillow.
Dongmin stared. “He sent you with a pillow.”
“Yes.”
“That is the most Jin thing I’ve ever heard.”
Lulu put the pillow down on the floor beside Haesoo, then started taking off her shoes and socks.
The members all noticed because of course they did.
Her toenails were painted white, neat and clean against the studio floor, and she lined her shoes up automatically beside the wall.
Joon, nearest to them, reached over and checked the inside of one shoe.
Then he looked up. “Three point five Y.”
Lulu looked at him. “Yes.”
He held the shoe up slightly. “He still buys you kids’ shoes.”
She folded her socks together and set them beside the shoes. “It fits. I just wear whatever Jin chooses.”
Dongmin put a hand over his heart. “That is so bleak.”
“It’s efficient,” Lulu said.
“It’s deeply weird,” Joon corrected.
Lulu had already stopped caring. She laid down on the small pillow on the floor right beside Haesoo, curling onto her side like she’d done this before in other rooms, other waiting spaces, other long company days where existing nearby was easier than being anywhere else.
Haesoo looked down at her. “You’re staying there.”
She nodded once. “Yes.”
Dongmin stared. “You’re going to sleep?”
Lulu settled one arm under her head. “I take muscle relaxers in the morning and night. It makes me sleepy. It helps where my head hurts.”
That changed the air a little.
Not enough to make anyone panic, but enough to remind the room that the softness of the outfit and the weirdness of the kids’ shoes and the feeding and the pillow all sat on top of something uglier.
Haesoo looked down at her more carefully. “Does it still hurt a lot?”
Lulu’s eyes were already heavier. “Less. Just… it gets tight.”
“Did the neurologist say—” Eunwoo started.
Lulu answered before he finished, words already beginning to blur at the edges. “He said the inflammation and the…” She frowned slightly, trying to hold the sentence together. “The nerve… the nerve blockers helped some. And the muscle… the…” She let out a soft annoyed breath. “Whatever. He said not to—”
Her speech was starting to slur now, the medicine pulling her under in real time.
Dongmin blinked. “Wow.”
Minjae looked over immediately. “She’s out?”
“Not yet,” Haesoo said quietly.
Lulu tried again, still half talking to the floor. “The back part… where it goes into the head… if it keeps…” Her voice softened more. “Jin said I have to tell him if…”
Then the sentence dissolved completely.
Her eyes closed.
A second later her breathing evened out.
The room went quiet around that.
Not because sleep itself was unusual. Because watching someone fall asleep mid-conversation from medication was always a little sad.
Dongmin looked at her, then at Haesoo. “That’s intense.”
Haesoo didn’t answer right away.
He just looked down at Lulu on the floor beside him, one hand resting close enough to touch her if she shifted, his face gone soft in that way everybody in the room knew by now.
Joon looked at him and said, “You’re doing the face again.”
Haesoo glanced up. “What face.”
“The one where you look like somebody handed you a breakable object and told you not to fail.”
Dongmin pointed immediately. “That’s exactly the face.”
Haesoo looked back down at her. “Shut up.”
But he didn’t really mean it.
Because Lulu was already asleep on the studio floor in kids’ shoes Jin bought her, full of chia pudding and muscle relaxers, with her small pillow under her head and the tote bag full of three meals by the wall, and there was nothing in the room he was looking at more carefully than that.
By noon, the members came back with food.
The room got louder before it got crowded, the sound of plastic bags, drink carriers, Dongmin talking too much, Joon complaining about traffic, Minjae already asking where everyone wanted things set down.
Haesoo was still against the wall where Lulu had fallen asleep beside him, one knee bent, phone in one hand, attention split between the group coming in and the girl sleeping on the floor by his leg.
Dongmin handed things out as he walked in.
“Burger for Haesoo. Fries. Soda.”
Haesoo took the bag and drink. “Thanks.”
Eunwoo set his own food down and looked toward Lulu. “Still asleep.”
“Yes,” Haesoo said.
Minjae glanced over once. “Did she move at all.”
“No.”
Joon sat down with his food and said, “She sleeps like somebody unplugged her.”
That got the smallest twitch at the corner of Haesoo’s mouth.
Then Lulu’s alarm went off.
A soft chime from somewhere in the tote bag.
She stirred immediately, frowned, and reached for it blindly until she found her phone and turned it off. Then she rubbed her eyes and pushed herself up slowly.
Her hair was a mess.
Not a little messy. Fully disordered, soft and huge around her face like she had fought something in her sleep and lost. Dongmin stared at her for one second and said, “You look like a lion.”
Lulu blinked at him, still not fully awake. “That sounds hostile.”
“It’s observant,” Joon said.
She sat there for a second longer, eyes heavy, face blank with sleep, then reached into the tote bag and pulled out a thermos.
Haesoo watched her struggle with the lid for maybe three seconds before taking it from her. “Here.”
Lulu let go of it without protest.
He opened it and handed it back.
She took out another container next, a small one with two little sections inside, one filled with ketchup and the other with barbecue sauce. Then a juice pouch.
Dongmin looked at the setup and actually laughed. “He packed you a toddler lunch.”
Lulu was already dipping a chicken nugget into ketchup. “That sounds judgmental.”
“It is judgmental.”
She took a bite half asleep, still clearly not all the way back in the room yet. Then a fry. Then another nugget, this time barbecue sauce. Her eyes stayed half-lidded through all of it, hair still wild, posture still soft with sleep.
Haesoo looked down at the thermos. “What is it.”
“Chicken nuggets,” Lulu said.
“I can see that.”
“And fries.”
“That too.”
She gave him a tired look. “Then why did you ask.”
Dongmin looked between them. “This is the driest conversation I’ve ever heard.”
Lulu ignored him and kept eating.
She drank from the juice pouch next, then dipped another fry in ketchup. The whole thing was absurdly small and domestic in the middle of the rehearsal room, Lulu sitting on the floor in oversized overalls with her hair exploding around her head, eating nuggets from a thermos like this was a completely normal way to spend the afternoon.
Joon watched her for a second and said, “Did Jin really plan your meals down to the sauce compartments.”
Lulu nodded once. “Yes.”
Minjae looked at the little container. “That’s actually insane.”
“It’s practical,” Lulu said.
“That is not the word I would use,” Taeyul muttered.
She finished the last nugget, then the last few fries, wiped her fingers on a napkin she pulled from the tote bag, and drank the rest of the juice pouch in three tired pulls.
Haesoo took the empty thermos from her before she dropped it back into the bag crooked. “You’re still asleep.”
“No,” Lulu said.
Then she blinked slowly for three full seconds.
Dongmin pointed. “That was sleep.”
Lulu gave him a flat look. “You’re loud.”
“That’s true.”
She set the sauce container back in the tote, laid down again on the little pillow beside Haesoo like she had completed a scheduled task, and curled onto her side without another word.
Haesoo looked down at her. “You’re going back to sleep.”
“Yes.”
“That was fast.”
“I’m on muscle relaxers.”
Joon looked at the empty thermos. “She woke up just to eat nuggets and disappear again.”
Eunwoo laughed softly. “Honestly, good for her.”
Lulu had already tucked one arm under her head. Her hair was still all over the place, half over her face now, and Haesoo reached down and moved it back without even thinking.
She didn’t open her eyes.
Just settled deeper into the pillow.
A minute later she was asleep again.
The members ate around her more quietly after that, not because anyone said to, but because it felt wrong not to. And Lulu stayed there on the floor beside Haesoo, fed, medicated, and asleep again before the fries smell had even left the room.
A little while later, Jin came into the rehearsal room and looked straight at Lulu on the floor.
Still asleep.
Still curled on the small pillow.
Still beside Haesoo like that was where she had been placed and where she intended to remain.
Jin set another bag down by the wall and asked, “Did she eat her nuggets?”
Haesoo looked up at him. “Yes.”
Jin nodded once. “Good.”
Dongmin stared at him. “You meal-prepped her whole day.”
Jin ignored that. “The next alarm goes off at two p.m. for her snack.”
The room went quiet for one second.
Then Joon said, “You scheduled her like a tiny government project.”
Jin looked at him flatly. “Yes.”
Lulu made the slightest sleepy movement at the sound of voices but didn’t wake.
Haesoo looked from Jin to the tote bag. “What’s the snack.”
Jin answered without hesitation. “Apple slices, cheese, and crackers.”
Dongmin put a hand over his heart. “This is actually crazy.”
“It’s organized,” Jin said.
“It’s controlling,” Joon corrected.
“It’s keeping her fed on time while she’s medicated,” Jin said, voice still even. “You can all survive the emotional complexity of that.”
That shut them up for a second.
Eunwoo looked at Lulu and then back at Jin. “Does she actually wake up for every alarm.”
“Yes.”
“How.”
“She likes schedules if they involve food and no effort.”
Lulu, eyes still closed, murmured, “That sounds rude.”
Everybody looked down at once.
She was awake just enough to say that, apparently.
Jin didn’t miss a beat. “That’s because it’s accurate.”
Lulu opened one eye halfway, looked at him from the floor, and said, voice still thick with sleep, “You’re hostile in public.”
“And yet you eat everything I pack.”
That made her close her eye again without answering.
Dongmin looked delighted. “She’s awake.”
“No,” Lulu said. “I’m participating.”
Joon leaned back on his hands. “That’s worse.”
Jin checked the time on his phone, then looked at Haesoo. “When the next alarm goes off, make sure she actually eats it and doesn’t decide juice counts as a full meal.”
Haesoo nodded once. “Okay.”
Lulu’s eyes opened again, this time just enough to aim annoyance in Jin’s direction. “I heard that.”
“Good.”
“I’m not five.”
Joon, without missing a beat, said, “Your shoes disagree.”
Lulu looked at him flatly from the floor. “I hope your lunch is bad.”
Dongmin immediately started laughing.
Even Haesoo smiled a little.
Jin looked down at her, unimpressed. “Go back to sleep.”
Lulu looked at him, then at the tote bag, then at Haesoo, and finally settled back onto the pillow with a small sigh that sounded deeply put upon for someone whose whole day had been structured around naps and catered snacks.
A minute later she was asleep again.
Jin picked up the empty thermos and sauce container, checked that the rest of the food was still packed, then stood there another second just looking at her.
Dongmin noticed and said, quieter now, “You really did plan her whole day.”
Jin glanced at him. “Yes.”
No embarrassment.
No apology.
Just yes.
Then he nodded once toward the tote bag and said, “Two p.m.”
Haesoo nodded again. “I know.”
Jin looked at Lulu one last time, then turned and left the room as calmly as he’d entered, leaving Sol7 sitting there with their lunches and choreography notes and one sleeping girl on the floor whose day was apparently now segmented by alarms, nuggets, and medically supervised snacks.
At two p.m., her alarm went off again.
Lulu woke up the same way she had at noon, reaching into the tote bag without looking like she had rehearsed the motion in her sleep. She turned the alarm off, rubbed one eye, and sat up slowly on the floor beside Haesoo.
This time she took out the snack container without needing help.
Apple slices.
Cheese.
Crackers.
Jin had not been exaggerating.
Dongmin looked over from the mirror and said, “No way.”
Lulu blinked at him, still half soft with sleep. “What.”
“He really packed you cheese and crackers.”
“Yes.”
“That’s the most controlled childhood I’ve ever seen in real time.”
Lulu opened the container. “It’s not childhood. It’s logistics.”
Joon looked over from where he was stretching. “Those are the same thing in your life.”
Lulu ignored him and started eating, slow and quiet, still waking up between bites. An apple slice. A cracker. A cube of cheese. Water from the tote bag. Then another apple slice.
Haesoo watched her for a second, then asked, “You good?”
She nodded once. “Yes.”
Then nothing.
She finished the snack, put the empty container back in the tote, and just… stayed sitting there.
Not talking.
Not scrolling.
Not asking for anything.
Just awake now, legs crossed, hands in her lap, staring a little ahead of herself while the members moved around the room and rehearsal energy picked up again.
Minjae noticed first.
He looked over and said, “That medicine must be strong.”
Lulu turned her head slowly toward him. “Why.”
“Because you’ve been awake for five minutes and haven’t said anything difficult.”
Dongmin laughed. “That’s how we know.”
Lulu looked mildly offended. “I’m sitting.”
“That’s the problem,” Joon said. “You’re sitting in silence.”
Eunwoo smiled a little. “It is unusual.”
Lulu looked back ahead. “I’m thinking.”
Taeyul, from the other side of the room, said, “That sounds dangerous.”
She did not answer that.
She just sat there through the afternoon, quieter than usual, sleepiness and muscle relaxers flattening the usual edge out of her. Not out completely. Just enough that the room felt strange around her. Haesoo kept glancing down between stretches and notes and phone checks, making sure she was still there, still upright, still okay.
Then around five p.m., another alarm went off.
Lulu looked down at the tote bag like this was simply the next scheduled task in a very long day, turned the alarm off, and pulled out another thermos.
Haesoo held out his hand automatically. “Give it to me.”
She passed it over without resistance.
He opened it and handed it back.
The smell came up first.
Spaghetti.
Joon looked over immediately. “No.”
Lulu took out a fork and started eating.
The sauce was bright, the pasta still warm, and she was sleepy enough again that she wasn’t paying close attention to where any of it landed. By the second bite, sauce had already gotten onto one cheek.
Dongmin saw it and grinned. “There it is.”
Lulu kept eating.
Haesoo looked at her for a second, then reached over with a napkin and wiped the sauce off. “You missed.”
“I was eating.”
“That’s not a defense.”
“It should be.”
She twirled more spaghetti and took another bite, still clearly running on medication and routine more than active thought. Then she reached into the tote again and pulled out a little cup.
It had princesses on it.
Actual princesses.
Pink and glossy and absurdly childlike in her hand.
Dongmin made the most offended sound of the day. “No.”
Lulu looked at him. “What now.”
“That is a princess cup.”
“Yes.”
She drank from it calmly.
Jisung looked up from his notebook and said, “He really committed to the entire system.”
Minjae shook his head once. “There is no casual version of Jin.”
Lulu took another drink, then another bite of spaghetti.
Haesoo looked at the cup. “He packed you a kids’ cup too.”
“It doesn’t spill as easily.”
“That’s not the point.”
“That is exactly the point.”
Joon leaned back against the wall and looked at the cup, then the overalls, then the lined-up shoes still by the wall. “This is getting medically and aesthetically concerning.”
Lulu swallowed carefully and said, “You all are dramatic.”
Dongmin pointed at the cup. “You’re drinking water from a princess cup in an outfit from the kids’ section while sedated on the floor of our rehearsal room.”
Lulu considered that for one second.
Then took another drink.
“It’s efficient.”
That got an actual laugh out of Eunwoo.
Even Minjae smiled a little.
Haesoo just looked at her, then at the sauce trying to reach her cheek again, and wiped it off before it fully got there this time.
Lulu looked at him. “You’re interfering with dinner.”
“You’re wearing it.”
“That feels judgmental.”
“It is.”
She took another bite anyway, then drank from the princess cup again, quiet and drowsy and oddly content in the middle of the rehearsal room while the rest of Sol7 sat around her trying and failing not to treat the whole thing like the strangest domestic scene they’d ever witnessed.
By the time she finished, she was slower again.
Not falling asleep yet.
Just visibly drifting.
She put the thermos back in the tote, the cup beside it, and leaned back a little against the wall near Haesoo like her body had already started deciding what came next.
Dongmin looked at the clock, then at her. “Do you have another alarm after this.”
Lulu nodded once. “Yes.”
“For what.”
She closed her eyes briefly. “Medicine.”
The whole room got a little quieter again after that. Not because anyone said to. Because every time they forgot why the tote bag, the thermoses, the princess cup, the muscle relaxers, and the alarms existed, she would say one small thing like that and the real reason would come back.
When she finished eating, Lulu stood up.
Still barefoot.
The white polish on her toes showed against the rehearsal room floor as she started walking slowly around the studio, not really going anywhere, just moving because she had been sitting too long and the medication had left that loose, drifting feeling in her body.
Dongmin watched her for about three seconds before he stood too and stepped in front of her.
He looked down at her feet, then put his own foot next to hers on the floor.
“Oh my God,” he said. “Your feet are so small.”
Lulu looked down too, like this was new information. “Yes.”
Dongmin pointed dramatically. “They’re probably smaller than Haesoo’s hand.”
That got everybody’s attention immediately.
Joon looked over from the mirror. “No way.”
Lulu didn’t even question it.
She just went and sat down on the floor across from Haesoo, stretched one leg out, and put her bare foot against his hand.
Haesoo looked down at it, then at her face, then back at the comparison like he had somehow become part of an experiment without consenting to it.
Dongmin dropped down beside them. “See.”
Joon leaned in to look. “They are smaller than Haesoo’s hand.”
Eunwoo laughed softly. “That’s ridiculous.”
Taeyul shook his head. “Everything about today is ridiculous.”
Lulu kept her foot there, calm and unbothered, like this was useful research.
Haesoo looked at her toes, then at the arch of her foot in his hand, and said, “Your shoes make more sense now.”
“That sounds like criticism,” Lulu said.
“It’s observation.”
Dongmin pointed again. “No, because that is actually tiny.”
Without thinking much about it, Haesoo’s thumb moved once along the sole of her foot, then his hand started to massage it lightly.
Lulu jerked immediately and let out a startled sound.
“Not that,” she said, already laughing. “That tickles.”
Dongmin burst out laughing at once. “No way.”
Haesoo smiled despite himself and kept his hand there just long enough to make her squirm again.
Lulu laughed harder and tried to pull her foot back, but not seriously, and Haesoo caught her ankle more carefully, still half smiling now.
“You’re dramatic.”
“That tickles,” she repeated, laughing breathlessly now. “Stop.”
Joon looked at her with open satisfaction. “That’s the most normal you’ve looked all day.”
Lulu opened her mouth to answer.
Then she screamed.
Not loud for attention.
Sharp.
Real.
Her hand flew to the side of her neck instantly.
The whole room changed.
Haesoo moved so fast it looked like he had barely thought at all. One second he was on the floor with her foot in his hand, the next he was up on his knees in front of her, both hands already at her arms.
“What happened, baby.”
Lulu’s face had gone white.
She was breathing wrong now, quick and startled, one hand still clutching her neck.
“I felt a sharp pain,” she said, voice tight and shaken. “Going from my neck to my spine.”
Everything in the room stopped.
Dongmin’s smile vanished.
Joon stood up straight.
Minjae crossed the room immediately.
Eunwoo was already reaching for his phone.
Haesoo kept one hand at her arm and the other hovering near her neck, not touching because he didn’t know if touching would make it worse. “Where.”
Lulu pressed her hand harder against the side of her neck and lower. “Here. It went down.”
Haesoo’s whole face tightened. “Is it still happening.”
She swallowed hard. “It hurts.”
Minjae looked at Eunwoo. “Call Jin.”
Eunwoo was already doing it.
Dongmin crouched down beside them, expression gone pale. “Was it because he touched her foot?”
“No,” Joon said immediately. “Don’t be stupid.”
Lulu shut her eyes for one second and breathed in too carefully. “It was just sudden.”
Haesoo looked at her face, reading every flicker of pain like he could solve it by force. “Look at me.”
She did.
“Can you move.”
“A little.”
“Don’t,” he said immediately. Then softer: “Don’t move yet.”
Eunwoo got Jin on the phone fast. “Hyung.”
Jin must have heard something in his voice, because Eunwoo’s face changed at once. “She got a sharp pain in her neck. She says it went down to her spine.”
Across the room, nobody said anything.
Haesoo stayed focused on Lulu. “Do you feel dizzy.”
“No.”
“Numb.”
She shook her head once, then winced. “No.”
“Don’t shake your head,” he said quickly. “Just answer.”
Lulu looked at him, eyes bright now with pain and the shock of it. “Okay.”
Minjae knelt on her other side, calmer than he felt. “Can you feel your hands.”
Lulu looked vaguely offended. “Yes.”
That answer helped by half an inch.
Jin was still talking through Eunwoo’s phone. Eunwoo nodded once, then held it out. “He wants to talk to her.”
Haesoo took the phone and brought it close to Lulu. “Jin.”
Lulu’s voice came out smaller now. “It hurt.”
Jin’s voice was loud enough through the speaker that Haesoo could hear it too, flat and controlled in the way it always was when he was angry at fear itself. “I know. Don’t move. I’m coming.”
Lulu shut her eyes once.
Jin said something else, probably asking details, and she answered as best she could. “It was sharp. Here.” She touched her neck again carefully. “Then down.”
Haesoo looked at her hand and wanted to move it away from the spot, but didn’t.
Jin said he was on his way. Then the line cut.
The room stayed tight around her.
Dongmin asked, too quietly now, “Should we get ice.”
Joon said, “Wait for Jin.”
Haesoo kept his eyes on Lulu. “Is it easing at all.”
She took one careful breath. Then another. “A little.”
That helped. Not enough. But enough.
Haesoo nodded once. “Okay.”
Lulu looked at him. “I scared you.”
His expression didn’t soften. It sharpened. “Yes.”
That seemed to hit her more than anything else.
Minjae sat back on his heels and exhaled slowly. “Good. If it’s easing, we wait.”
Lulu didn’t argue.
She stayed on the floor where she was, barefoot, one hand at her neck, the earlier laughter gone so completely it almost felt unreal that it had happened at all.
And Haesoo stayed kneeling in front of her, close enough to catch her if anything changed, still looking at her like the room had narrowed down to one thing only:
whether she was going to be okay.
