Prologue
"How could I hate you?"
My voice shaked and my hands trembled while trying to hold up the phone.
I gulped down the knot forming in my throat.
"All these years all I have done is love you and trust you."
"All these years."
"I wanted to build a family with you"
I couldn't control the tears running down my face and as if I had to keep up the strong facade going on,I tried to stern my voice but it was too late.
I was breaking down,my walls were breaking,my chest was hurting and my breath was shaking.
Afterall,the bold woman I thought I had become would have to crumble.
She would also be weak and fragile like other people.
She felt terrible,she felt useless.
But,
What could someone do if someone close to you chose to betray you?
The line was silent on the other end.
I didn't know if it was guilt that kept him quiet, or if he was caught in a situation where he simply didn't know what to do. Which was deeply ironic, because he was always the person who got me through these situations. And right now, he wasn't.
"What have I done wrong? You can tell me and we can sort it out. Are you upset with me over something? I am sorry... Please don't leave me."
I held onto a tiny glimmer of hope, desperately thinking this could all be a prank, a massive misunderstanding.
I started crying. "Why are you not talking? Why!"
I could hear a faint noise from the other end, but he didn't speak.
"Please tell me what you mean by this? You are joking, right?"
"I love you, Ma—" Then he spoke. His voice was heavy, but it was still the same voice that had whispered I love you's and good night's to me for years. "I—I don't—I can't do this anymore. I am sorry, but I want you to understand. I really am sorry. Please."
His tone sounded gentle, as if caressing my soul to sleep. It just didn't match his words.
"You can hate me. I deserve it."
After all these years, I have experienced life with many people, and above everything else, all they ever wanted was to be loved. Loved by the people around them. But here I was, in a situation where the person I loved the most was begging me to hate him.
How could I?
"Please don't call me back after this. Take care."
The line went dead.
All that remained was an echo, waiting to engulf me into its shadow. I hated this feeling. I was weak again—fragile, and completely worthless.
