Chapter 1
The Silent Pressure of Being Female
Standards exist everywhere — in education, careers, and income. But one of the most damaging standards imposed on young girls is beauty standards. From a very young age, girls are taught that they must look and behave a certain way.
“Don’t wear shorts.”
“Don’t cut your hair.”
“Be more girly.”
“Don’t be too smart or outstanding.”
“Don’t talk too much.”
We hear comments like these so often that we stop noticing how harmful they truly are. They become normalized, as if this is simply what it means to be a girl. We are taught that we cannot be “too much” of anything. If we are too smart, we intimidate people. If we are too quiet, we are ignored. If we wear too much makeup, we are called attention-seeking, but if we wear none at all, people criticize every flaw they see.
“You have too much acne.”
“You look tired.”
“You have dark eye bags.”
“You look pale.”
We hear these things constantly. It feels as though girls are treated like experiments, constantly pressured and reshaped until they fit society’s idea of “perfect.” Instead of being allowed to become our own people, we are raised to worry about what others think of us.
“Am I too much?”
“Am I enough?”
It becomes an endless cycle that follows many women from childhood into adulthood.
I remember being in middle school, where “average-looking” girls were constantly mocked simply because they did not fit boys’ standards of attractiveness. You could just be sitting in the cafeteria when a group of boys approached and jokingly said, “My friend likes you,” only for everyone to laugh afterward. In that moment, you realize that you are being made fun of for your appearance.
That is when insecurity begins.
You start trying your hardest to fit in. Maybe you begin wearing makeup at a young age, which can even damage your skin and confidence further. Then you scroll through social media, constantly seeing girls with “perfect bodies,” “perfect faces,” and “perfect hair.” You begin questioning yourself:
“Am I really that ugly?”
“Or is everyone else just more beautiful than me?”
Those thoughts slowly destroy your mental health. You become terrified of being judged — by your crush, by classmates, or by the girls you hoped would become your friends. Then the pressure shifts to your body. You start believing that if you were skinnier, prettier, or more attractive, maybe you would finally be loved. Some girls begin dieting in unhealthy ways, even starving themselves, believing it is the fastest way to achieve the “perfect body.”
Then puberty arrives. You get your first period, and suddenly society begins treating you differently. You are told, “Congratulations, you’re a woman now,” but with that comes even more judgment and restrictions over something completely natural and uncontrollable.
In many cultures and religions, menstruation is still treated as something shameful or “unclean.” In some traditional Christian communities, women are discouraged from participating in church activities during their periods. In Islam, women do not pray or fast while menstruating. In some parts of Hindu culture, women have historically been separated from others during their periods and restricted from daily activities.
For centuries, women have been labeled as weaker, dramatic, emotional, or needy, simply because of their gender. Yet all most women have ever wanted is the freedom to live without constant judgment, restrictions, or fear of being taken advantage of.
Most women have experienced uncomfortable or unsafe situations involving men. Studies have shown that 1 in 3 women experience sexual harassment during their lifetime. Many victims never speak up because of fear, shame, or the possibility of being harmed even further. Some suffer in silence, especially when the abuser is someone within their own family.
Women have spent hundreds of years fighting for safety, equality, and basic human rights, yet in many countries, women still face limitations on their freedom and opportunities.
As women grow older, society begins pressuring them about marriage and motherhood.
“When are you going to find a nice husband?”
“You need to start a family soon.”
“You don’t want to end up alone.”
It is as if a woman’s purpose in life is expected to revolve around marriage and children. But many women dream of much more than that. Some want an education, a successful career, or the chance to build businesses and live independently. Women deserve the freedom to choose their own futures without being judged for it.
I admire women who confidently pursue their dreams and live life on their own terms. But sadly, not every woman has that freedom. In many parts of the world, women are denied basic rights simply because they were born female. Their freedom depends entirely on fathers, husbands, or societal expectations.
Women in places such as Afghanistan have faced devastating restrictions on education, freedom of movement, work, and self-expression. And Afghanistan is not the only example. Across the world, countless women continue to suffer from discrimination, abuse, forced labor, and lack of opportunity.
When women speak up about these issues, they are often dismissed as “dramatic.” That is one reason feminism exists: to challenge discrimination and fight for equality. Yet many women are insulted or mocked simply for wanting independence and equal treatment. Society often acts as though women wanting freedom is selfish, while men’s freedom has always been treated as normal.
For centuries, the world has judged men and women based on physical strength. Because women are often physically smaller or weaker, society wrongly assumes they are weaker in every other way too — intellectually, emotionally, and professionally. Women have been underestimated and disrespected for generations.
But women are not weak.
Women are capable, intelligent, resilient, and powerful. Women create life itself. A woman carries a human being within her body for months and brings that life into the world. That strength deserves respect, not discrimination.
Women should never be reduced to stereotypes or treated as less valuable because of their gender. Respect for women should not only apply to mothers, sisters, or daughters — it should apply to all women. Every person in this world was brought into life by a woman. Remember that before looking down on one.
At the end of the day, women are human beings deserving of the same respect, freedom, safety, and opportunities as anyone else. No one should have to fight simply to be treated equally.
— M.B.
