Little Bird

Its been two years since I’ve graduated college, I’m struggling to find a damn job because I’m either over qualified or under qualified, its ridiculous, I’m here in my small shitty apartment making my last pack of ramen after a day of Jon hunting and nothing to show for it.

I Groan opening the fridge because I have nothing to drink, grabbing some change off my counter I head to the mini mart down the block for a fifty cent soda. I make my selection after taking a few minuets knowing this will be my last soda for a while, I have no money left, I literally have enough money in the bank to cover my next rent and the utilities. I take a sip turning my my heals clinging to the can I bump into someone, the can falling to the floor fizzling on the concrete just like my tears , my eyes looking at the can.

“Fuck me...” I say quietly, I wipe my tear looking up slowly, oh god there is soda on this guys shirt, it looks expensive as hell... “Im So sorry for-”

My words cut off, “Emma?” I take a step back not wanting him to look at me, my head down.

“Sorry, I ruined your shirt, I can clean it, um... I can take it to get cleaned.” No you can’t you are broke! “Its okay, I have more shirts don’t worry, how have you been what have you been up too?!”

He is really interested in what my life has been like since our break up, I hate him, I’m scared of him.... “Umm, its been okay I guess.” I wipe another tear away from my face because that’s a lie, I’m going to lose everything and will have to go back home a failure... “Where are you working at?”

His voice full of joy and happiness, well at least he is happy. “Um I’m not working right now, I’m looking for a job.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Are you really though? That time I remembered you were hoping id fall on my face and I did, you should be happy.”

“I Was stupid back then, come on we were young!”

“You were a controlling asshole is what you were. You wouldn’t let me go for internships and now I have no connections all because you wanted me by your side at all time. You should be reeking with joy, I have no money, I’m on my last pack of ramen and the soda that just fell is probably the last one ill have in a good while.”

“Wow, look that doesn’t make me happy to hear, you got to trust me.”

Wrapping my arms around myself I shrug, “Whatever, I have to go.”

I Walk past him going back home, my Raman got all mushy and soggy while I was talking to my ex, great I’m going to starve. Breaking down I cuddle up in my bed, depression sleeping is the worst so I hated going to sleep, all the dark nightmares flooding my dreams... I just want to wake up from this hell I’m in...

I hear my phone ring, I jump up quickly answering it, “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Emma Martinez?”

“Yes, this is...”

“Hi I’m Marryan, I’m calling because you have been selected for a job you applied for at Shiner Brooks.”

I don’t even remember what that is, I was going crazy applying anywhere and everywhere online, I run to my lap top looking it up, its a firm, a law firm... “Oh um yes...”

“Would you still like to work here, we have a position open for you but im afraid its not for accounting, it’s an assistant job, you’ll be getting paid weekly, $30 and hour.”

“$30 an hour?”

“We can bump it up to $40 if that is not enough for you.”

$40 and hour?! Are you serious of course im going to take the job!

“Yes, yes I’ll take the job. When do I start?”

“Tomorrow if you can, it’s in the city, I’ll email you the address, be here at 8am, ask for Marryan.”

“Okay thank you!” I hang up quickly, joy and happiness fill my body, jumping around the room celebrating, oh my god, I’m going to have money in my bank on Friday so much money! I gather my work clothes laying them on the bed, I’m so nervous, I wonder who I’ll be working for. My heart racing so fast, looks like my luck is changing for the better...

At the end of the day I lay in bed, im so nervous I think I could puke, honestly im just scared I won’t be good at this job. I hate when people bark commands at me, I hate being ordered around and that is all my ex’s fault. I Groan thinking about him, his stupid perfect face and that’s smile... And he is so tall. STOP! Why did I have to bump into him?! I push him out of my mind I need to rest and not think about him.

All is quite right now, a hand sliding up my thigh, I look behind me his face.... His jaw clenched, my heart pounding in my chest. “What are you-”

“Shhh.” His finger tips on my lips, his lips kissing my shoulders, my body awakening for him, I want him to stop touching me but, I also don’t. “I want you to sit on my face.” His words husky in my ear, his fingers slipping inside my bottoms.

The world sucks me back into reality hearing my alarm going off, my hand on my forehead trying to catch my breath. “Fuck...”

I can’t not be dreaming about him! I get up and get ready making sure I look good, a pinnacle skirt, a white blouse and blazer, some heals. I grab my laptop and a note book and head out, this is the day my life turns around for the best, you can do this... I look up at the huge glass tower, my heart feels like its going to stop... I head in to the front desk. A receptionist looks at me with an annoyed face one her. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, I’m Emma Martines, I’m supposed to ask for Marryann..”

“Come with me.” I follow the snarky girl deeper into the building,

“Marryann, Emma Martines is here to see you.” The older lady with a kind smile turns to me,

“Hi! Im Marryann, the boss is in his office, I’ll take you to him. You are going to replace me, I used to be his assistant ill show you everything he likes and doesn’t like so he won’t get to upset with you.”

“Oh is he unruly?” She giggle shaking her head,

“He just likes things done right.” I nod taking a deep breath fixing myself as we stop at the big glass door. “Your new assistant is here.” She opens the for me, my eyes on the floor, I look up slowly, my hear drops instantly, my legs going weak.... “Emma, it’s nice to see you again.”

“You two know each other?” Marryann asks, Evan nods smirking at me, his fingers laced together nodding. “You can leave.” Maryann nods walking out, it is quiet to quiet, I don’t even want to look at him. My eyes on the floor, “Sit down.” I clench my eyes shut shaking my head, he is my boss, I have to listen to him all over again... I sigh sitting down crossing my legs, don’t look at him. “So you applied at my office huh?”

“I told you what was going on with me, I was applying everywhere.”

“As an assistant?”

“At this point I have to take whatever I can.”

“Good, this Job should be easy for you, you know my likes and dislikes. For now you can go get me a coffee.”

I bite my tongue getting up, he stands following me to the door, his hand on the small of my back. “Let me show you your office first.” I move his hand away from my back, a light chuckle coming out of him, just keep your mouth shut, you need this job! He leads me to a door next to his, the office set up beautifully, a huge window looking out at the city. I set my stuff on the glass desk looking around, Evan walks over to me, my back against the desk my body is shaking... The closer he gets... The harder the flash backs get of my sex dream from last night. Evan blocks me in his hands on either side of the desk me in the middle. “Are you happy to be working for me?”

“Im happy I have a job.” My eyes on his tie, he leans down, my finger lift my chin for me to look at him, I avert my eyes looking away from him. “Look at me.” I shake my head,

“My job does not require for me to look at you.” My chest rising and falling so fast, he grabs my chin roughly, “Look at me.” He demands, tears flooding my eyes, I look at him.

“Good girl.” My hand on his chest I push him away gently,

“Ill go get your coffee.” I say quietly walking away from him and out of the office, my hands on the counter ordering his coffee the way he likes it. “I need a Vanilla hazelnut cappachino with a shot of espresso.” Come on you can do this, he is playing mind games with you, just breath and keep your distance the best you can... I head back into the office, I knock on his door and walk in. He smiles watching me set the coffee down. “Anything else I can do for you?” He nods, I watch his hand push a book off his desk, “Pick that up.” Anger filling me, bite your tongue Emma.... I kneel down picking up the book, papers fall out as I stand back up, Evan chuckles. I hate him! I kneel backdown picking the papers up putting the back in the book and set them down on the desk. “Anything else?”

“Go to Maryann and get your new badge and your new debit card.”

“Debit card?” He smiles,

“Its for work use only, coffee, clothes, pens, paper, electronics, food.”

“Oh, okay...”

“I hope you’ll see all the benefits of working here soon.”

I nod and walk out of the office, I hate this I hate this so much!

“This is your new card, make sure you save your receipts for the end of the month. Your new badge, and you are set.... How is your first day going?”

“Um, it’s okay so far.”

“so how do you know Evan?”

“He was my ex in college.”

“Oh, wow... We have never seen him with anyone since he started here except that one girl.”

“Really?” She nods smiling at me,

“What?” I ask nervously,

“Starting up an old flame might be nice.” I shake my head

“Not for me, it didn’t end on good terms so you can imagine how awkward this is for me but, I am happy to be working.” She frowns,

“Well if you need to talk to someone, I’m here for you. Ill be here till the end of the month.”

“Thank you.” She smiles kindly pushing me to walk off, I sit in my office looking at the expensive desktop, guess I won’t need my laptop most of the time. My door swings open, Evan walks in hovering over my on the desk top. “What are you doing?”

“Checking to see if Marryann set up your profile, I can’t log in.”

I watch him mess with the desktop, he is not very tech savvy and it makes me giggle, he stops hearing my giggle. “What is so amusing?”

“Nothing...” He sighs moving away getting his phone out,

“Did you set up the desktop for Emma? Ive been messaging her for five minuets and its not popping up.... Okay.”

“Marryann is coming to set it up.”

“Okay.” I still won’t look at him I refuse to look at him, the less I do is the best for me, the door closes. “Im here!” Marryaan walks in setting stuff on my desk, she moves me out of the way setting everything up. The desktop dings. “Oh my...”

she says looking away from the screen, “What?” I Ask, she giggles nervously.

“Um your messages from Evan are coming in, you are all set on there, now I need you to learn how to put these files back together, it’s simple.”

I nod and take a glance at the messages from Evan. “You in those skirts makes my heart race.”

My core sets ablaze, “Emma?”

“Yeah!?” I move away looking at Marryann,

“Evan has a bad habit of looking through his files and not putting them back in order so now when he prints them they automatically get numbered, just put the back in order or he will blame you for it.”

“Oh I know that is what he is good at.” My desktop dings again, I sigh turning around on the chair reading it. “Are you ignoring me?” I smirk shaking my head,

“Im trying to learn how to do my job.” I send it and turn back around getting the files in order.

“Okay now you can put the files back when he leaves the office for the night.”

“For the night? How long will I be working?”

“14 hours.”

“Ill be here till 11pm?!” She giggles,

“The pay is worth it not to mention all the traveling you get to do.”

“Travel?”

“Oh yes, Evan has clients all over the country, he flys out to them, you will be with him to help him.”

“Great, alone with Evan, yay!” She giggles,

“You will be fine!” I nod fanning my face, I’m so stressed out right now its not even funny!

“Will he be working late tonight?”

“Every night.” I take a deep breath, fixing the files, alone. I hear the ding again.

“Come get these files.” I walk into his office gathering the files.

“A thing else I can get you?”

“If I need anything I’ll tell you, you don’t have to keep asking.”

The way he speaks to me infurates me to no end...

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, sir is for bed, it’s yes Evan for the office.” I freeze in my spot, floods of memories fill my head, the sex was the only good part of what we had and yes I’ve missed it but, I don’t miss him.

“Yes, Evan.” I step out rushing to my office laying my face on the desk,

“Why am I here?!” Because you need the money, just work and save while you look for a new job... Ding.

“Go get us lunch at Bobs.”

I head to Bobs walking in, “What can I get for you?”

“Cheese burger, fries, No onion or ketchup... Coke for the drink.”

I spot their cheesecake Evan loves. “A slice of cheesecake please.”

“Anything else?” I am starving, I put my pride away looking at their salads, I miss salad but they have been to expensive to buy lately. “A chicken salad extra ranch please.”

I gather my order and head back to the office, I knock on the door. “Come in!”

“Oh man that smells so good, my cheat day has begun.” Evan says, still on his schedule from college, one cheat day month, every Tuesday... I get out his burger setting it up for him like I used to, he grabs my hand gently. “You don’t have to so that.” He says, he always wanted me to do this before... I stop and move away taking the bag back to my office, fuck his cheesecake... I take it out and look at the posits.... I take one and write, “Thank you for this job.” I walk back into his office resting my back again the door, he looks at me my eyes on his. Why did I just look him in his eyes. “Is everything okay?” I nod moving away from the door and place his cheesecake on the desk and rush out, I peak through the crack watching him look at the cheesecake. He picks it up smirking at the posit, he opens it up sliding his finger across it, sucking the excess of his finger. I bite my lip watching him, his eyes closed sucking it clean a smile on his face. He closes it and get back to his burger, I move away back to my office closing the door gently. After five hours of fixing his files I hear a ding. “You can go home if you want to, I don’t want to over work you on your first few days.” Ive been here for seven hours all together, I feel fine. The light going out around the office as others leave for the night, I stay fixing more files, I’m not allowed to read them unless he asks me to so I don’t. Two hours pass by, two huge stacks of files on my desk finished, I smile feeling good I did my first day with no trouble. My office door opens, I stand up quickly, nervously. “What are you still doing here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to finish these files is all.”

“I saw the light still on, I thought you left the light on. Im sorry for barging in.”

“Um, its fine. Im done with these files.”

“You did all of these? There must be eighty of them...” He grabs one looking through it nodding. “Very good...” I smirk looking away at the city lights, its so beautiful, I used to have a nice apartment in the city but, that’s all a distant memory now.

“What’s out there?” Evan asks, I stand at the huge window looking out,

“Just a beautiful city...” I feel him behind me,

“Do you want to come have a drink with me?”

“I dont think that is very appropriate...”

“There is nothing inappropriate about it, me and Maryann would enjoy a drink and head to our homes after, just to take some of the stress away.”

“I might get tipsy off of one drink, I haven’t been able to afford to drink.”

“Ill make sure you home safe.” His hand on my back, I move away shaking my head.

“Don’t touch me, please...” He moves away nodding,

“I won’t, do you want to have a drink with me?”

I move to my desk clocking out and turn to Evan, Its going to sound like I’m begging him but, I’m just really trying so hard not to break down in front of him...“Now that I’m off the clock I think its time to get something straight Evan.... I need this job okay, I really need it and I don’t need you making it difficult for me, with your big strong ands and velvet voice okay? Don’t touch me, don’t speak to me unless you need to for work and don’t tell me how good I look in these skirts!”

“Why?”

“why to what?” I ask confused, point one thing out that’s so outrageous to you not just, what?

“To all of it....” He walks over to me, he quickly pulls me into him, his hand grasping my hip.

“Why can’t I touch you with my big strong hands?” His face slowly nears my ear, my heart skipping beats, his warm breath on my ear, his words so soft in my ear,

“Why can’t I talk to you with my velvet voice?” Im soaking right now, my core is burning up, I feel his fingers sliding up my thigh slowly lifting my skirt a little. His eyes meet mine,

“Why can’t I look at you?” Why is he doing this to me? Why is he making this so hard for me?! I never did anything wrong to him! Tears, my head on his chest pushing him away gently.

“I-i have to go.” I rush out with my things as fast as I can, not wanting him to follow me, waiting for the elevator doors to close he stalks over to it, my eyes scanning the button to close the doors. There it is! I push it watching him start for a run but, the doors close, he hates when I walk away from him, always has but, that’s what I do, I run from things and people. Ive never been the best at being in a situation I can’t control and he is all about having the control. He loves to control me; when we graduated I left him without a single word, I vanished.

“Emma, we have town cars to get you home safe.” I nod getting in the car, I wont have to pay for a taxi anymore, thank god. “Im your driver, I will take you home and to work, also I’ll be here for whatever errands you need to fulfill. “Okay, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The driver nods, once home I grab the wine bottle I had been saving for a month and open it, I really could have used a night cap but, not with Evan. I would have ended up in his house, in his bed, naked. I know he has a power over me that I can’t stop, he knows how to make me want him and only him, that won’t be the case this time. Im going to have to stop letting him do this too me. I won’t let him control me, never again.