What is your opinion?
I like it
"I liked the main character. I found the way Lix is introduced interesting. The story has an engaging plot, and it makes me curious and eager to find out what happens in the next chapter. 😊✍️"
A BOY NAME LIX
"This chapter has a lot of promise. The atmosphere is eerie, the opening dream creates intrigue, and the emotional connection between the narrator and Lix is established early. As a fellow Inkitt author, I'd say your biggest strengths are **atmosphere** and **mystery**. The biggest areas to improve are **grammar, pacing, repetition, and showing rather than telling**. Here's a review you could leave: As a fellow Inkitt author, I enjoyed reading the first chapter! It immediately creates an eerie, mysterious atmosphere, and I was curious about the recurring crow dream and Lix's strange fascination with the beach. Ending the chapter with his disappearance is a strong hook that definitely made me want to know what happened. I also liked the quiet relationship between the narrator and Lix. Their small moments together—sharing breakfast, hugging after the nightmare, and remembering their first picnic—helped establish an emotional connection before everything fell apart. One suggestion I'd offer is to polish the prose a little more. There are several grammatical errors, missing punctuation, and tense shifts that interrupt the flow. Tightening those would make the emotional moments even more powerful. I also noticed some repetition, such as "You lean against the wall and slide onto the floor," which appears twice. Replacing repeated descriptions with fresh imagery would strengthen the chapter. Another area to consider is showing more through sensory details and character reactions instead of summarizing events. For example, when Lix disappears, slowing the pacing slightly and describing the mounting panic in more detail would make that scene even more heartbreaking and suspenseful. Overall, this is a strong opening with an intriguing mystery, a sweet relationship at its center, and an ending that encourages readers to continue. With a bit more editing and refinement, I think the story will become even more immersive. Great start, and I look forward to seeing where the mystery leads! "
